Advice Please (wife will be making more money than me)

[donnA]

More income in a household sounds like a good thing to me. Once you two deposit your pay checks into your joint checking account there no more hers and mine. As long as you are employed then you are doing what you are supose to as a man and husband. Theres nothing but mens opinions to say the man needs to make more money.

Perhaps the question of who makes the most is not the issue. The question you may or should be asking is who is best qualified to take care of what is being made as in paying the bills and setting aside for the future needs.

In each marriage one is usually more qualified to handle the money than the other. In our marriage I have been handling the finances for 37 years but we have friends where the wife handles the money.

I can completely agree with this. I handle the money in our house simply because my husband has no idea what to do, he has never in 47 years written a check. I am more qualified for that. on the other hand, he is more qualified to take care of my car and make decisions about it. In marriage we each work with our strengths, complementing each other. His weakness is my strength, my weakness is his strength, this way we work together smoothly as one, and not two seperates.

 

[Jim1999]

When young people are getting married, they don't pay enough attention to financial matters. The fact is, over the years, I have found financial matters to be the uppermost cause of marital problems. It is the root cause, and then little things like tapping a fork on edge of plate becomes catastrophic. Little remarks become broadcast as if over a loud speaker. Pay attention to financial things. Live within one's means. Pay credit cards off before interest is added. Always put something away for savings, even if it is only five dollars from every pay period. Put this in a non-chequing savings account.

In marital counselling, I always included the management of monies. You are being wise to raise these concerns before the wedding.

Cheers, and God's blessing,

Jim

 

[mcdirector]

Know too that things change. So much in life is realy for a season. You won't be in school forever. BUT when you get out and get a job in your field, you might not make great money at first either. We've gone up and down income wise over the years - new jobs or no jobs or kids in college or medical needs or . . . well any number of things obviously mess with the final dollar amount.

I've got to concur with Jim's statement that money brings most people trouble more than anything else. Ya gotta keep talking about it and figure out both of your strengths and weaknesses. But keep talking, keep giving it to God.

 

[IronWill]

When young people are getting married, they don't pay enough attention to financial matters. The fact is, over the years, I have found financial matters to be the uppermost cause of marital problems. It is the root cause, and then little things like tapping a fork on edge of plate becomes catastrophic. Little remarks become broadcast as if over a loud speaker. Pay attention to financial things. Live within one's means. Pay credit cards off before interest is added. Always put something away for savings, even if it is only five dollars from every pay period. Put this in a non-chequing savings account.

In marital counselling, I always included the management of monies. You are being wise to raise these concerns before the wedding.

Cheers, and God's blessing,

Jim

Personally, I'm totally against the use of credit cards. Most people don't have the discipline it takes to wisely use a credit card. I don't have on at all. Anything I need a credit card for, I can use a debit card to do. If I don't have the money, it's probable that I don't need it. I pay cash for everything as it stands right now. Now when I someday buy a house, I'll obviously have to use "debt" to purchase that house...but if you have the right mortgage broker, you don't need "credit" to purchase a house.

 

[Nicholas25]

Seriously, thank you everyone for this wonderful advice. I am sure everything will work out for the best because the hand of God is all over our marriage. To simplify even more, I feel if I don't marry my fiance on July 29th I will be displeasing God. I feel we are in his perfect will. The bible tells us we will have trouble in the flesh but that God will spare us. We will have everything worked out in the next 20 days, infact we are starting to think along the same lines more since I started this a few days ago. Also please understand that I try to follow God's lead, if the situation needs adjusting, the Lord will open a door. The thing my fiance and I both realize is that we have to stay in God's perfect will and allow him to work in our life and not get caught up in our flesh and make fleshly decisions. I hope that all makes sense. Thanks again for the great advice. We are meeting with our pastor Wed. night after service and ALL of this will be discussed at length.

 

[TaterTot]

IRONWILL says: Anything I need a credit card for, I can use a debit card to do.

except renting a car. We had a dire need once, early in our marriage and we could not rent one with the debit/check card. I also agree that most people cant use Credit Cards responsibly.


Nicholas, Glad things are working out for ya. Communication is a good thing.

Jim1999, you are so right about the fork tapping on the plate thing. That made me laugh.

 

[LeBuick]

In marital counselling, I always included the management of monies. You are being wise to raise these concerns before the wedding.

Cheers, and God's blessing,

Jim

Your entire post is so true. I hit this subject without fail. I usually make a joke like, "ok, whose going to write me a check?" I really take the pre marriage counselling sessions seriously and have recommended a couple to not get married (he was a virgin and she had a kid in another state he didn't know about) and had one couple argue to the point they canceled the wedding.

 

[IronWill]

IRONWILL says: Anything I need a credit card for, I can use a debit card to do.

except renting a car. We had a dire need once, early in our marriage and we could not rent one with the debit/check card. I also agree that most people cant use Credit Cards responsibly.


Nicholas, Glad things are working out for ya. Communication is a good thing.

Jim1999, you are so right about the fork tapping on the plate thing. That made me laugh.

Actually you can...nowdays anyway...but normally only with smaller rental companies.

 

[rbell]

IRONWILL says: Anything I need a credit card for, I can use a debit card to do.

except renting a car. We had a dire need once, early in our marriage and we could not rent one with the debit/check card. I also agree that most people cant use Credit Cards responsibly.

Enterprise allows it.

 

[music4Him]

My daughter has been the bread winner in her marriage while my son in law was going to collage for a degree in Telecommuications. He graduated May 05 and he now works as a jailer at a police station and has decided to go back to school for a career in law enforcement! There ought to be a law for this!!! The deal was when he finished his schooling she was suppost to get her chance at collage. Now it looks impossible, but so far the Lord has still been good and she has quickly climbed the latter at a bank and from clerk/teller to loan secretary. So thank the Lord that if anything (Lord forbid) happens to him I know she will still be able to support herself and my grandson if need be.

So instead of seeing this as a bad thing...
Praise God that your fiance makes good money and will work because it could be worse you could be trying to supportm you both on $6.00 and hour. :thumbs:

Pro. 31:10-31 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
BTW if someone has already said this please ignore this post.

 

[gb93433]

If how much one or the other earns is of great concern, please do not get married. Surely how much one earns is not that important.

My wife is an accountant and always earned more than me as a pastor of a church. The only time my wage surpassed her was when I did architectural work and when I was a professor at the university.

I would be willing to bet that it never concerned any of the churches you pastored either.