and if this mom was a member of your church???

[Salty]

From Dear Amy:
I have a 17-year-old daughter who identifies as a male.

I am OK with this. I am a Christian and attend a traditional Methodist church.

I am involved in a lot of church events, but my child is not.

I am not sure how the church is going to react to my child’s transition. I also don’t know how my side of the family will react. I had one guy from the church already make a comment about my teen wearing a tux to the prom.

I told people that she doesn’t do dresses, which is true.

My question is — how do I support my daughter/son and also hold on to my church? — Mom


Dear Mom: If your child identifies as a male, then he is not a daughter/son — but a son.

This gender transition is also a transition for you, and you should continue along this path by using your child’s preferred pronoun.

Regarding your church, this may seem like a complex doctrinal or cultural issue, but it’s not!

You have one child.

There are other churches.

I suggest that you take some time to get very comfortable with your child’s gender transition, and then share this knowledge with friends, family, and fellow congregants over time. You don’t need to make a big announcement but acknowledge the truth the way you would other aspects of your child’s life to people who are interested. (The “tux” comment was one opportunity for you to say, “The reason my teen didn’t wear a gown to the prom is because they identify as male.”)

People may let you down—but please — do not let your faith fail you!

If people at church respond unkindly, you can assure them that you will pray for them to open their hearts. Then, you should look for another place to worship.

****************************
Open for discussion

 

[AustinC]

If the daughter attends, but isn't a member, I welcome her to study the Bible and get to knnow the God who created her for His glory. If she is a member, then I talk with her about God's view of her and finding her identity in Christ, not in her feelings. I encourage her to suspend her membership until and if she comes to know she is created a female and it was God's will to create her as a female. If she and her mother will not agree to study God's word and accept God's choice in making her female, I tell her that I too will pray for her and seek that God becomes first in her life, over and above her feelings.

 

[canadyjd]

The advice from “Amy” is a dangerous lie. The daughter is mentally ill with a condition that can lead to suicide. By “going along” with the daughters mental illness, she is preventing her from getting the professional help she needs to accept who she is.

The mother should support her daughter by telling her the truth. She is a woman. She should seek counseling and therapy, not to “transition”, but to accept the reality of who she really is.

If the mother has close friends in church that won’t gossip, ask for their specific prayers that her daughter will be saved and accept who she is.

Amy’s advice to find another church, presumably one that will accept the lie as truth, is simply a path away Christian support, truth and sound doctrine and into error and heresy.

peace to you

 

[Fisher of Bass]

"There are other churches."

What an emblematic statement of today's moral relativism and lack of desire for truth.

 

[JesusFan]

From Dear Amy:
I have a 17-year-old daughter who identifies as a male.

I am OK with this. I am a Christian and attend a traditional Methodist church.

I am involved in a lot of church events, but my child is not.

I am not sure how the church is going to react to my child’s transition. I also don’t know how my side of the family will react. I had one guy from the church already make a comment about my teen wearing a tux to the prom.

I told people that she doesn’t do dresses, which is true.

My question is — how do I support my daughter/son and also hold on to my church? — Mom


Dear Mom: If your child identifies as a male, then he is not a daughter/son — but a son.

This gender transition is also a transition for you, and you should continue along this path by using your child’s preferred pronoun.

Regarding your church, this may seem like a complex doctrinal or cultural issue, but it’s not!

You have one child.

There are other churches.

I suggest that you take some time to get very comfortable with your child’s gender transition, and then share this knowledge with friends, family, and fellow congregants over time. You don’t need to make a big announcement but acknowledge the truth the way you would other aspects of your child’s life to people who are interested. (The “tux” comment was one opportunity for you to say, “The reason my teen didn’t wear a gown to the prom is because they identify as male.”)

People may let you down—but please — do not let your faith fail you!

If people at church respond unkindly, you can assure them that you will pray for them to open their hearts. Then, you should look for another place to worship.

****************************
Open for discussion

Must love her as the daughter, but must NEVER affirm that God made a gender mistake!

 

[JesusFan]

From Dear Amy:
I have a 17-year-old daughter who identifies as a male.

I am OK with this. I am a Christian and attend a traditional Methodist church.

I am involved in a lot of church events, but my child is not.

I am not sure how the church is going to react to my child’s transition. I also don’t know how my side of the family will react. I had one guy from the church already make a comment about my teen wearing a tux to the prom.

I told people that she doesn’t do dresses, which is true.

My question is — how do I support my daughter/son and also hold on to my church? — Mom


Dear Mom: If your child identifies as a male, then he is not a daughter/son — but a son.

This gender transition is also a transition for you, and you should continue along this path by using your child’s preferred pronoun.

Regarding your church, this may seem like a complex doctrinal or cultural issue, but it’s not!

You have one child.

There are other churches.

I suggest that you take some time to get very comfortable with your child’s gender transition, and then share this knowledge with friends, family, and fellow congregants over time. You don’t need to make a big announcement but acknowledge the truth the way you would other aspects of your child’s life to people who are interested. (The “tux” comment was one opportunity for you to say, “The reason my teen didn’t wear a gown to the prom is because they identify as male.”)

People may let you down—but please — do not let your faith fail you!

If people at church respond unkindly, you can assure them that you will pray for them to open their hearts. Then, you should look for another place to worship.

****************************
Open for discussion

One of the Elders in our church has his oldest daughter seeing herself as now being male gendered, but he keeps loving her but never calls her as now a he!

 

[Reynolds]

From Dear Amy:
I have a 17-year-old daughter who identifies as a male.

I am OK with this. I am a Christian and attend a traditional Methodist church.

I am involved in a lot of church events, but my child is not.

I am not sure how the church is going to react to my child’s transition. I also don’t know how my side of the family will react. I had one guy from the church already make a comment about my teen wearing a tux to the prom.

I told people that she doesn’t do dresses, which is true.

My question is — how do I support my daughter/son and also hold on to my church? — Mom


Dear Mom: If your child identifies as a male, then he is not a daughter/son — but a son.

This gender transition is also a transition for you, and you should continue along this path by using your child’s preferred pronoun.

Regarding your church, this may seem like a complex doctrinal or cultural issue, but it’s not!

You have one child.

There are other churches.

I suggest that you take some time to get very comfortable with your child’s gender transition, and then share this knowledge with friends, family, and fellow congregants over time. You don’t need to make a big announcement but acknowledge the truth the way you would other aspects of your child’s life to people who are interested. (The “tux” comment was one opportunity for you to say, “The reason my teen didn’t wear a gown to the prom is because they identify as male.”)

People may let you down—but please — do not let your faith fail you!

If people at church respond unkindly, you can assure them that you will pray for them to open their hearts. Then, you should look for another place to worship.

****************************
Open for discussion

I have dealt with the situation. Don't have to give you a hypothetical. Went to the mother and her son, I think he was about 20 at the time, and made it plain that when at church, he would dress as a man, use the name he was given at birth, use men's bathroom, and attend men's Sunday School class. Mother and son said they would not do that. We told them that they could not return to church. They were under Church discipline until they were willing to comply with Biblical standards of Gender behavior.

 

[AustinC]

I have dealt with the situation. Don't have to give you a hypothetical. Went to the mother and her son, I think he was about 20 at the time, and made it plain that when at church, he would dress as a man, use the name he was given at birth, use men's bathroom, and attend men's Sunday School class. Mother and son said they would not do that. We told them that they could not return to church. They were under Church discipline until they were willing to comply with Biblical standards of Gender behavior.

I take it that both were members in the church. In such a position this would be appropriate. Though, dress choice is a social construct and I might not be bothered by dress as much as you, it is appropriate to set the expectations for members.

 

[Reynolds]

I take it that both were members in the church. In such a position this would be appropriate. Though, dress choice is a social construct and I might not be bothered by dress as much as you, it is appropriate to set the expectations for members.

Mother was a member and son was trying to join.

 

[canadyjd]

I take it that both were members in the church. In such a position this would be appropriate. Though, dress choice is a social construct and I might not be bothered by dress as much as you, it is appropriate to set the expectations for members.

It’s not about “dress choice”. It’s about a church going along with a mentally ill man who thinks he’s a woman. To allow his attendance dressing as a woman is tacit approval, and disruptive of the worship of God.

peace to you

 

[JesusFan]

It’s not about “dress choice”. It’s about a church going along with a mentally ill man who thinks he’s a woman. To allow his attendance dressing as a woman is tacit approval, and disruptive of the worship of God.

peace to you

Yes, cannot affirm what is a sinful choice!

 

[Roy]

I would look at transgenders comming into the church as individuals who want to make a statement. If they aren't looking to repent and allow Jesus to change them from within, they need to be encouraged to make their statements somewhere else.
These are deranged perverts who shouldn't be riding the church bus with your children. They aren't like the Longhair hippie types of the 60s and 70s whom churches often cold-shouldered. They are serious trouble.

 

[AustinC]

It’s not about “dress choice”. It’s about a church going along with a mentally ill man who thinks he’s a woman. To allow his attendance dressing as a woman is tacit approval, and disruptive of the worship of God.

peace to you

Gotta love your neighbor as yourself. His sin is in telling God he made a mistake. If he claims to be a Christian, speak truth to God's perfect choice in creating him as a man.
If he isn't a Christian, speak the same truth. Keep preaching the word in speech and deed. Love him as a human who has the dignity of being made in God's image, but speak truth to him. Where we fail is we push people away or we ignore them without ever confronting sin. It is an epidemic in our culture that we never speak truth in love, but instead we polarize and judge.
Until the man repents of sin, he cannot be a member in the church, but if he comes and listens respectfully to the sermons, then you have an opportunity to speak truth in love to him, and you can show your children how to love sinners while explaining the sin.

 

[BasketFinch]

Jesus spoke what we call the gospel today to the Samaritan woman at the well. In his time Jews did not speak to Samaritans. The Samaritan's were considered lesser unclean beings.

Jesus dined with sinners. His Apostles we're confused and even upset at that. Mark 2.
Jesus healed the leper, told us to love our enemies, and so much more.

A mother gave birth to her daughter. Assumed the responsibility of parenthood.
Is she to choose her church over her daughter?

We make God in our image when we insist he hates all the same people we do. Because we fail as that example of Christ like when we hate anyone at all.

Trans-affliction, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, is a mental illness.
What doesn't get a lot of press because media is largely leftist, is that a large portion of Trans-Afflicted people regret their transition later on.

This daughter is mentally ill. The last thing she needs are uncharitable people treating her mother badly one day a week in the name of God.

Only God can heal this poor troubled girl. She's abandoned her God given gender. The last thing she needs is her mother to abandon her because staying a member of an uncharitable church takes priority.

Rather than criticize, I'll pray for them both.

Anyone else?

 

[Salty]

Basket - you brought up some good points
BUT
One consideration is movation
if the individual is cross dressing to prove a point - saying you cant stop me
that is one thing -
But as you stated there are issues that do need to be dwelt with

 

[BasketFinch]

Basket - you brought up some good points
BUT
One consideration is movation
if the individual is cross dressing to prove a point - saying you cant stop me
that is one thing -
But as you stated there are issues that do need to be dwelt with

I don't know that we know the daughter said that. (you can't stop me.)
However, if she were to have said that, doesn't that show the adversary is at work in her?
The opposer. Opposing the genders God created, man and woman, and making them to feel adverse (adversary) to God's plan and creation.

All the more reason I think to pray for them. And all who are under attack by the enemy.

And those who regret their transition defeated the enemy and returned to God's plan for them.

 

[canadyjd]

Gotta love your neighbor as yourself. His sin is in telling God he made a mistake. If he claims to be a Christian, speak truth to God's perfect choice in creating him as a man.
If he isn't a Christian, speak the same truth. Keep preaching the word in speech and deed. Love him as a human who has the dignity of being made in God's image, but speak truth to him. Where we fail is we push people away or we ignore them without ever confronting sin. It is an epidemic in our culture that we never speak truth in love, but instead we polarize and judge.
Until the man repents of sin, he cannot be a member in the church, but if he comes and listens respectfully to the sermons, then you have an opportunity to speak truth in love to him, and you can show your children how to love sinners while explaining the sin.

If you love your neighbor as yourself you wouldn’t go along with the delusion he’s a woman instead of a man. It hinders him from getting the professional mental health counseling he needs.

Where we fail is not seeing this as a mental health issue. As with all mental health issues, the man needs professional help.

The question was should the man be allowed to attend church dressed as a woman. Until the man agrees not to come to church dressed as a woman, he shouldn’t be allowed to disrupt the services.

You are not showing children how to love sinners if you go along with the delusion that a man is a woman. It would likely confuse the children on both issues.

peace to you

 

[canadyjd]

So now I just realized I had things backward. The OP concerns a woman that thinks she’s a man rather than a man that thinks he’s a woman.

The argument is the same, of course. She needs professional mental health treatment.

Peace to you

 

[AustinC]

If you love your neighbor as yourself you wouldn’t go along with the delusion he’s a woman instead of a man. It hinders him from getting the professional mental health counseling he needs.

Where we fail is not seeing this as a mental health issue. As with all mental health issues, the man needs professional help.

The question was should the man be allowed to attend church dressed as a woman. Until the man agrees not to come to church dressed as a woman, he shouldn’t be allowed to disrupt the services.

You are not showing children how to love sinners if you go along with the delusion that a man is a woman. It would likely confuse the children on both issues.

peace to you

Did you even read what I wrote?
I said that you speak truth to this person, telling them that God created them with a specific gender and saying differently is telling God He is wrong. That is sin against God. We must be honest with our neighbors, even if they hate the truth.
This does not mean that I don't love my neighbor if they don't repent. I am still called to love my neighbor even if they don't repent.

 

[AustinC]

@canadyjd wrote:
Where we fail is not seeing this as a mental health issue. As with all mental health issues, the man needs professional help.

I would say this isn't a mental health issue. This is a spiritual health issue.
Sadly, the term mental health gets used when the term means there is a muscular and neurological malfunction of the brain as a muscle. Science does not recognize that humans have a spiritual nature so science only addresses the physical functioning of the brain without addressing the spiritual corruption of man's spiritual nature. Science does not see anything being wrong with a transgender person because the brain is functioning fine, physically. But, the spirit of a person is corrupted and in transgenderism we see the spiritual corruption and dissonance being displayed. In short, people need Christ.