Anonymous Notes

If receiving anonymous criticism over reaching people qualifies one to be a leader, I qualify.

Obviously we pastor different types and size churches. And since you have no idea what type of relational attempts have been made, we will just allow your point to be moot.

Not the point.

So in reality you handle it in a similar fashion as I would.

My point is that if a church is truly pursuing the lost, they will be criticized by the religious elite ... what makes you think things have changes since it happened to Jesus?

It is simply my experience and the knowledge I have received from some of the most evangelistic leaders in the nation that has led me to such a conclusion. Take it for what its worth. I think most pastors of churches aggressively pursuing the lost would agree with me (and no I am not talking about bus ministries and doorknocking).

As I said earlier, LOVE EVERYONE ... move with the movers. The second statement does not negate the first.

This is the first time I have been accused of not wanting to confront problems. Those who know me would laugh at such a remark. So goes life on the anonymous Baptist Board.

I have never run off anyone who does not toe the line. I want everyone to find a church where they can serve effectively. That may or may not be a church with our philosophy. Because I love people and want what is best for them, the best thing might be for them to find a ministry that focuses upon the insiders over the outsiders.

I don't think anonymous notes have to be lies. I do think they have no credibility for the reasons asserted earlier.

I am still waiting for the text where Jesus catered to the religious people of his day.

 

So a true statement doesn't have credibility? That is somewhat confusing ...

Why? Did you think someone was saying we should cater to malcontents or people who are trying hold things up?

I think USN's conclusion is exactly the right one. Let us all be gracious in the face of criticism, whether justified or not.

 

Experience is a good teacher, but not an infallible one. What if the only experience you had with fire was to be burned? What if the only experience you had with fathers was to be abused by one? By your own admission, the anonymous notes you received were not good ones. Perhaps your experience is incomplete.

What if you received this anonymous note? "Brother, we really appreciate what you're doing. Keep up the good work. Here's a $50 bill. You and your wife go out to a nice restaurant?" While you may not have received such an unsigned note, others have. I would venture to say that a note is not necessarily evil based simply on anonymity.

 

I like that line. When reading yesterday, I thought about a bunch of anonymous people on an anonymous board posting notes about anonymous notes!

 

Since you do not know me, I will take your words for what they are worth -- a conclusion drawn from someone who has never met me and has no clue what type of person or pastor I am.

I will just allow the judgment of the many who follow my leadership to speak to my nature and personality.

And please do not misquote me ... I have never said only those who agree with me love and know me. One thing that is worse than an anonymous note is a misquote ripped out of context.

I can find no biblical reason to criticize a pastor or any other leader anonymously. Can you provide biblical grounds for this to happen?

Again you misquote and make illogical conclusions. This is not about caring or loving or being too busy to care about the flock. Please do not make such hasty generalizations when your knowledge is extremely limited.

 

Larry: Why? Did you think someone was saying we should cater to malcontents or people who are trying hold things up?

As I have said repeatedly, these are the only type anonymous notes to which I have been referring.

Larry: I think USN's conclusion is exactly the right one. Let us all be gracious in the face of criticism, whether justified or not.

I concur & his conclusion is very similar to the one I have drawn.

I take my criticisms very well thank you.
If you are not getting criticized, you are probably not making many waves.

I just don't have the time and energy to devote my attention to addressing those who are never going to "get it." Love them - yes. Pastor them - if they allow me to. Listen to them - probably not. Some call it arrogance - most call it focused leadership.

rlv: What if you received this anonymous note? "Brother, we really appreciate what you're doing. Keep up the good work. Here's a $50 bill. You and your wife go out to a nice restaurant?" While you may not have received such an unsigned note, others have. I would venture to say that a note is not necessarily evil based simply on anonymity.

First I would laugh b/c they called me "brother." Then I would take my wife out to a nice restaurant. I am not a fool

Actually we were talking about destructive notes not constructive. And I have never said I ignored the notes. I simply said anonymous destructive criticism has no legitimacy.

rlv: I thought about a bunch of anonymous people on an anonymous board posting notes about anonymous notes!

Which is why BB is sheer entertainment for me. You can't take anything too seriously from those who only know you by your posts on a forum.

 

Attendance up, baptisms up, and new faces on a regular basis...great, does that mean i can expect a note from Mr or Mrs. A. Nonymous at some point?

 

Sometimes, Bobbyd, those numbers go UP when the preacher is preaching those 'I'm okay, You're okay' sermons ....

 

Is that what its all about?

 

Not as long as you do it in a way that has been done before

Absolutely. What else would it be about?

 

I understand that you say all the notes you received were destructive. But, unless I have misunderstood some of the posts, some people believe that "anonymous = bad".

Which is why I try not to talk about where I've been and what I've done, and don't put a lot of stock in what people say they've done. Since I don't know most of you (I do know a few, or know someone who knows them), that's why I am interested in scriptural and logical arguments.

Anyone can say anything about who they are and what they've done. I can't disprove it, but don't have to believe it.

But if you stay around long enough, you do get to know some of the regulars.

 

Not as long as you do it in a way that has been done before

Absolutely. What else would it be about? </font>[/QUOTE]I think you have misunderstood Grace....is getting a note or a pat on the back what its all about? If it is then your you are serving yourself!

 

You can dispell all the speculation by posting the contents of the note. Besides, I don't have to have met you to understand where you're coming from. Your words proceed from the abundance of your heart. Note your judgments of the person who wrote the note:
</font>

• ridiculous</font>
• gutless</font>
• disgruntled</font>
• bitter</font>
• selfish</font>
• jealous</font>
• shady</font>
• saboteur</font>

And these just from your posts on the first page. Is this person really as black as you're painting here? Is this your kind of reaction to criticism? This does not sound like the reaction of one who is approachable.

Concerning the content, note your defense:
</font>

• Attendance is up</font>
• Offerings are up</font>
• Baptisms are up</font>
• Your parade float won a prize </font>

This coupled with your philosophy of reaching vs keeping, what else could the note be about other than the methods you've espoused.

Isn't it obvious? If you're using worldly methods, it isn't real ministry.

Then why on God's green earth did you even bring this up? You should have kept it to yourself, or did you really expect everyone here to just take at face value your appraisal of the character qualities of the author of the note? Again, let's see the words of the author himself.

God's will and direction are clearly revealed through the written Word. If you are a pastor, then you are a shepherd. You are charged primarily with feeding and caring for the sheep. Your leading is only into green pastures for the sake of the sheep.

You are not given special revelation concerning a direction for His church. Christ is the Head, not you, and He indwells all Christians, not you alone. Your leadership is by example and teaching--not driving.

So, I say again. Post the contents of the letter, and we'll hash the merits of the note itself, instead of the one who wrote it. Let's see if you truly are being led by God's Spirit.

 

Aaron, personally I do not think it is any of your business what the note says.

 

Early in my ministry I dealt with this issue. I did all that I could. I was working 45 hours a week and spending 25-30 hours a week in ministry. A very few people did not like what I was doing. It nearly killed that then young, green youth minister. I could not sleep. I made my family miserable. I vowed that would never happen again.

If people write you a note and it is not signed what can you do? Go talk to them? I have a lot of things on my mind and don't care to let some unknown person way my mind. Do I care about people? Yes, I do!!!! Do I sweat the small stuff? nah!!!!

 

It appears therein lies the problem. What type of thinking are you. I am too busy in the ministry to take care of the small stuff (the flock, people under my ministry) Who do this people think they are critzing me. I don't have time for people, its all about me. I am the pastor, the ruler how dare someone write me an anonymous note, true or not, the nerve. Yep I see some great pastors that love the people on hear.

Or here is a person that is struggling, am I the cause or is it his heart that needs help. Either way I should make an effort to grow from this or help someone else too.

One is all about me the other is showing God's grace and mercy to others that was bestowed up them.

Sorry, just my opinion.

 

A friend of mine told me about a pastor who when he first came to the church he announced that he would read any unsigned notes in front of the congregation. One time he did just that.

Maybe those kinds of things ought to be spelled out in a booklet of what it means to be a member in that church. Today people need to know about ethics. Unethical and illegal decisions are being made in churches and in the world today.

 

Reading your earlier statements about not giving any credibility to anonymous notes seems very different than what USN said. Perhaps you overstated your earlier case, or perhaps I misunderstood, but it seems you were deadset against giving any weight or credibility to anonymous notes. Now, you are agreeing with someone who said they should be considered for truth.

 

You have mis judged my response. I have an open door policy. Everyone knows that!!! I love to hear feedback from folks but if they have something negative to say show some character and sign the note. I am on staff and have received 2 letters unsigned both tearing me apart personally. That is not something anyone should have to go thru. The reason why was simple. I changed the format of Wed youth Bible study. We added a worship time twice a month. People with character and substance are not afraid to be known. I deal with complaints everyday.