T
TaterTot
Guest
And lets not give the pat SS answers. This question assumes that you know where you will be going. It is the ACT and/or PROCESS of dying that is in question.
Let's proceed...
Let's proceed...
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No. I came close during a medical procedure,
and the experience removed all the fear I may
have had before. In fact, it was a very pleasant
process.
But death comes in all kinds of ways. I do not
look forward to pain, or being a pain to my
family during the process.
and the experience removed all the fear I may
have had before. In fact, it was a very pleasant
process.
But death comes in all kinds of ways. I do not
look forward to pain, or being a pain to my
family during the process.
T
TaterTot
Guest
what happened, Abiyah?
Hi!
My nose and lips went numb, and I sank back
into the bed as though someone was pulling
me down into it from below. Odd sensation.
All of a sudden, I could hear, but I could not see,
move, or speak. I think my eyes were closed,
because I tried to open them, but I was not
strong enough. I don't rememer if I was
breathing or not.
But I heard everything. I heard an alarm I was
hooked up to go off, then my nurse said some-
thing over a loud speaker. I don't remember
what she said, but I heard her shout, "STAT!"
A flurry of nurses suddenly surrounded me, and
one said, "Call 9-1-1!" (This was not in a hospi-
tal but an office.) I heard my nurse make the call.
In the meantime, the nurses attending me were
rubbing my arms and hands and slapping my
face a little, telling me, "Cough! Cough! Wiggle
your fingers!"
But what those poor nurses did not know was
that months earlier, I had attempted suicide
three times one day, then I realized that what I
was trying to do was wrong. I thought that our
God was giving me an honorable way out--an
honorable death! As those nurses begged me
to cought and wiggle, I was thanking my God for
death.
I laughed boistrously with joy--but no sound
came out! So I began to make my final prayers.
I prayed for each member of my immediate
family, for my mother, for my daughter's way-
ward obnoxious boyfriend, and for his parents,
then I told our God I was ready to go.
At the time, I owned a beautiful antique upright
grand piano, built in 1900. I loved that piano. I
had always told my daughter that it was hers
when I died. But as I completed my prayer, I
laughed and told our Lord, "Ha-ha! I guess
she gets the piano a little earlier than I had
planned!"
Just then, I felt like someone had placed a load
of lumber upon my chest. It did not hurt--it was
just extremely heavy. Then I felt like they had put
another down the rest of my body. I waited
patiently for the processs to finish.
But then, I felt that our Lord was speaking to me,
although I heard no voice and saw no one. He
seemed to say, "I am giving you a choice: you
can die, or you can choose to live." As I lay
there, I realized the saddness and hardship I
would bring my family. My children had lost
their father in an airplane accident, my husband
had lost a wife after surgery, my stepchildren
had lost their mother--how could I do this to
them?
For the first time in my whole life, as I lay there
dying, I wanted to live! I wanted it--badly! So
I told our Lord, "Please let me live." I seemed to
hear Him tell me, "Then do what they are telling
you to do, and you will."
I tried to cough, but I could not--at first. Then a
little cough came out, then another, then I was
fully back but weak.
Funny--when I got home, I immediately called
my daughter, told her what happened, and told
her to make arrangements to come get her piano!
8o)
My nose and lips went numb, and I sank back
into the bed as though someone was pulling
me down into it from below. Odd sensation.
All of a sudden, I could hear, but I could not see,
move, or speak. I think my eyes were closed,
because I tried to open them, but I was not
strong enough. I don't rememer if I was
breathing or not.
But I heard everything. I heard an alarm I was
hooked up to go off, then my nurse said some-
thing over a loud speaker. I don't remember
what she said, but I heard her shout, "STAT!"
A flurry of nurses suddenly surrounded me, and
one said, "Call 9-1-1!" (This was not in a hospi-
tal but an office.) I heard my nurse make the call.
In the meantime, the nurses attending me were
rubbing my arms and hands and slapping my
face a little, telling me, "Cough! Cough! Wiggle
your fingers!"
But what those poor nurses did not know was
that months earlier, I had attempted suicide
three times one day, then I realized that what I
was trying to do was wrong. I thought that our
God was giving me an honorable way out--an
honorable death! As those nurses begged me
to cought and wiggle, I was thanking my God for
death.
I laughed boistrously with joy--but no sound
came out! So I began to make my final prayers.
I prayed for each member of my immediate
family, for my mother, for my daughter's way-
ward obnoxious boyfriend, and for his parents,
then I told our God I was ready to go.
At the time, I owned a beautiful antique upright
grand piano, built in 1900. I loved that piano. I
had always told my daughter that it was hers
when I died. But as I completed my prayer, I
laughed and told our Lord, "Ha-ha! I guess
she gets the piano a little earlier than I had
planned!"
Just then, I felt like someone had placed a load
of lumber upon my chest. It did not hurt--it was
just extremely heavy. Then I felt like they had put
another down the rest of my body. I waited
patiently for the processs to finish.
But then, I felt that our Lord was speaking to me,
although I heard no voice and saw no one. He
seemed to say, "I am giving you a choice: you
can die, or you can choose to live." As I lay
there, I realized the saddness and hardship I
would bring my family. My children had lost
their father in an airplane accident, my husband
had lost a wife after surgery, my stepchildren
had lost their mother--how could I do this to
them?
For the first time in my whole life, as I lay there
dying, I wanted to live! I wanted it--badly! So
I told our Lord, "Please let me live." I seemed to
hear Him tell me, "Then do what they are telling
you to do, and you will."
I tried to cough, but I could not--at first. Then a
little cough came out, then another, then I was
fully back but weak.
Funny--when I got home, I immediately called
my daughter, told her what happened, and told
her to make arrangements to come get her piano!
8o)
No, I've given birth to children and had migraines that had me literally laying in the parking lot hoping I would get hit to end the pain. Can't get much worse than either, hehe, and if it's in a hospital hey, ya get morphine for pain, and at least if you know you're dying you know the pain will end shortly if there is any!
Gina
Gina
I liken it to an experience I had as a very small child.
When I was little, I climed up in a tree and couldn't get down.
It wasn't very high, maybe 8 or nine feet, but when you're little and scared everything looks huge.
Because the branches were brittle, my dad couldn't come and get me, so he held out his arms and said "Jump. I'll catch you and I promise, I won't let you get hurt".
I was terrified, but I knew my dad and I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me, so I jumped and he caught me perfectly.
In the same way, dying scares me a little but I'm confident and comfortable that my Heavenly Father will catch me.
When I was little, I climed up in a tree and couldn't get down.
It wasn't very high, maybe 8 or nine feet, but when you're little and scared everything looks huge.
Because the branches were brittle, my dad couldn't come and get me, so he held out his arms and said "Jump. I'll catch you and I promise, I won't let you get hurt".
I was terrified, but I knew my dad and I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me, so I jumped and he caught me perfectly.
In the same way, dying scares me a little but I'm confident and comfortable that my Heavenly Father will catch me.
I was supposed to die two times before -- and actually I did once on an operating table, but was shocked back. No, no lights, no memories -- they had to tell me about it!
But when I was 21 I was kicked in the gut by a mare lashing out at another horse and I was in the way. I fell to the ground and flopped like a dying fish. An elderly man saw the horse running loose in his field and came to see what was going on. He found me on the ground, realized what had happened and started crying. I ended up directing him to cover my body, get me a pillow, and call for an ambulance. I did not get into surgery for about ten hours or so, as they were just watching me. Because no bruising rose to the surface, no one realized how serious the kick has been. When they went in that evening the doctor pulled out hundreds of pieces of ruptured spleen and almost half of my severed pancreas. Why I didn't die that day no one actually knows, medically. Of course it was God, but you know what I mean. Two weeks later I walked out of the hospital so thin you could cut yourself on my bones in passing! -- well, that's only a slight exaggeration...
When I was 30, a cyst on one ovary burst and ended up setting off my appendix. Because no one realized the appendix was involved, surgery was put off a couple of days. When they went in the doctor later said he had never smelled anything so rank in a living person -- the peritonitis was advanced. That is when I died in surgery and was brought back. However the next few days I was given as much morphine as often as I wanted almost, because I did appear to be dying. My iron count stayed incredibly low. I was passing out from pain and waking up from pain and the morphine did almost nothing.
Sunday night (the operation had been on a Thursday morning -- a full hysterectomy/appendectomy), I knew I was dying. It was like sinking -- and it was, for me, like sinking into a deep, quiet, velvety dark well. It was peaceful and the fight was finally over. The infection had won. It was a very comfortable feeling, actually!
Exactly like Abiyah, I was aware of being given a choice -- live or die. Unlike her, I was too exhausted from fighting the infection to care. I honestly did not have the strength to care.
But others cared for me. There were several prayer chains which had been going almost nonstop for me, evidently. And so the choice was made for me that night. Monday morning I woke up, sat up, and was disgusted with all those tubes and needles in me. The doctor almost dropped his eyeballs when he came in to see if I was still alive or not...
No, I am not in the least afraid to die. But I don't think my children are ready for that yet and I don't want Barry left alone. He has been alone for so much of his life, that as much as I love him, I would rather have me alone without him than him alone without me. I don't want him to hurt. So I would not want to die now.
But I am not afraid of it. Like Gina, I've already been through unbelievable pain. It's survivable, and pain is just pain. If the Lord asks me to walk that way again, I will, and I know that He will be with me every step of the way, just as He has always been.
But when I was 21 I was kicked in the gut by a mare lashing out at another horse and I was in the way. I fell to the ground and flopped like a dying fish. An elderly man saw the horse running loose in his field and came to see what was going on. He found me on the ground, realized what had happened and started crying. I ended up directing him to cover my body, get me a pillow, and call for an ambulance. I did not get into surgery for about ten hours or so, as they were just watching me. Because no bruising rose to the surface, no one realized how serious the kick has been. When they went in that evening the doctor pulled out hundreds of pieces of ruptured spleen and almost half of my severed pancreas. Why I didn't die that day no one actually knows, medically. Of course it was God, but you know what I mean. Two weeks later I walked out of the hospital so thin you could cut yourself on my bones in passing! -- well, that's only a slight exaggeration...
When I was 30, a cyst on one ovary burst and ended up setting off my appendix. Because no one realized the appendix was involved, surgery was put off a couple of days. When they went in the doctor later said he had never smelled anything so rank in a living person -- the peritonitis was advanced. That is when I died in surgery and was brought back. However the next few days I was given as much morphine as often as I wanted almost, because I did appear to be dying. My iron count stayed incredibly low. I was passing out from pain and waking up from pain and the morphine did almost nothing.
Sunday night (the operation had been on a Thursday morning -- a full hysterectomy/appendectomy), I knew I was dying. It was like sinking -- and it was, for me, like sinking into a deep, quiet, velvety dark well. It was peaceful and the fight was finally over. The infection had won. It was a very comfortable feeling, actually!
Exactly like Abiyah, I was aware of being given a choice -- live or die. Unlike her, I was too exhausted from fighting the infection to care. I honestly did not have the strength to care.
But others cared for me. There were several prayer chains which had been going almost nonstop for me, evidently. And so the choice was made for me that night. Monday morning I woke up, sat up, and was disgusted with all those tubes and needles in me. The doctor almost dropped his eyeballs when he came in to see if I was still alive or not...
No, I am not in the least afraid to die. But I don't think my children are ready for that yet and I don't want Barry left alone. He has been alone for so much of his life, that as much as I love him, I would rather have me alone without him than him alone without me. I don't want him to hurt. So I would not want to die now.
But I am not afraid of it. Like Gina, I've already been through unbelievable pain. It's survivable, and pain is just pain. If the Lord asks me to walk that way again, I will, and I know that He will be with me every step of the way, just as He has always been.
Headcoveredlady
New Member
thank you for your stories. I have a kidney problem that could be life threatening. The doctors do not know what is wrong with them. I am not afraid to die as I know where I will go. But, I do fear the possibility of leaving my children without a mother. I have small children.
hcl
hcl
Joseph_Botwinick
<img src=/532.jpg>Banned
Sometimes I am afraid of how it could happen. But more than that, I guess I am curious as to what it is like. To lose consciousness, and be in total nothingness. How does it feel when your last breath goes. Sometimes, I try to simulate for myself what it might be like by holding my breath as long as I can and staying as still as I can and trying to simulate having no thoughts or anything. I know, it sounds wierd and morbid, but it is just a curiosity for me. I have even thought about my funeral and what it would be like. I would be there but wouldn't hear my wife crying for me? Or the pastor saying anything? Or the music? Well, sorry if I am freaking everyone out. I guess I will stop now.
Joseph Botwinick
Joseph Botwinick
Nah, I think those are things most normal people have thought of at least once.
I could swear my soul left my body once in the hospital though, and I wasn't even on narcotics!
VERY strange experience, but I didn't even think it was odd or out of the normal until I really thought about it a few weeks later. 
Gina
I could swear my soul left my body once in the hospital though, and I wasn't even on narcotics!
Gina
I think about it sometimes....mainly because I love life and enjoy my husband and children so much and I want to be here with them,living life and ejoying all the goodness of God with them...I know,that is selfish....I would not want my girls or husband to miss me either(kinda like what Helen said) and I know it would hurt my girls so much. So,it is not the actual dying that bothers me,it is the separation from those I love so much that seems like it would hurt,but in heaven there are no tears.
I just barely missed death years ago by about (est) .3sec; head-on at combined speed of ~ 130-140 mph. As far as I know that is the only time it's been imminent!
Anyway, I have no fear or dread of death, although I sometimes feel yech about this modern prolonging of life by any and all means. I'm MOST ASSUREDLY against any attempt by man to hasten death, but I'm equally against all these hook-ups that just ARTIFICIALLY keep you alive.
If and when I reach that stage, I hope & pray that God sees fit to let me cross that invisible boundry ASAP.
Basically all I want is to have just enough time to see all my loved ones to say "Good bye" and then go. I would also like to be alert and coherent of my surroundings, and pass a quick word of those already gone to the other side that I may have a glimpse of!
Anyway, I have no fear or dread of death, although I sometimes feel yech about this modern prolonging of life by any and all means. I'm MOST ASSUREDLY against any attempt by man to hasten death, but I'm equally against all these hook-ups that just ARTIFICIALLY keep you alive.
If and when I reach that stage, I hope & pray that God sees fit to let me cross that invisible boundry ASAP.
Basically all I want is to have just enough time to see all my loved ones to say "Good bye" and then go. I would also like to be alert and coherent of my surroundings, and pass a quick word of those already gone to the other side that I may have a glimpse of!
This is a mean and crazy world. It has never dealt me a good hand. It has taken everything I loved, and it has twisted my insides out at times. The only thing good that came of this world is Jesus came to save me. I look forward to dying. I wish it were my time now. I am tired of being lonely, and doing it all. No one helps, compliments, or anything. Its alway alone. If not for my kids there would be no purpose. I never belonged here. From the begining it was never right. I am here for one reason. It would seem to be to keep getting slapped in the face by tragedy after tragedy. But it is I guess to share with others my experiences, and have compassion on others. I hope I am being a good tool for the Lord.
But God gives me strength. Enough for each day, and for that I am grateful. He holds me tight, and keeps me safe. He has provided a roof over my head, blessed me with children, and grandchildren. He forgave me when once I rebelled. I am able to tithe and eat, pay my bills, and rejoice in His Holy Name.
No...I am not afraid to die, or afraid of death. He said He would be back.
Sherrie
But God gives me strength. Enough for each day, and for that I am grateful. He holds me tight, and keeps me safe. He has provided a roof over my head, blessed me with children, and grandchildren. He forgave me when once I rebelled. I am able to tithe and eat, pay my bills, and rejoice in His Holy Name.
No...I am not afraid to die, or afraid of death. He said He would be back.
Sherrie
I believe when I close my eyes in death... I will open them in glory!... When I pass over I will see all my loved ones that have gone before me!... I feel like the Apostle Paul when he stated O death where is thy sting?... O grave where is thy victory?
I believe when it comes my time to die I will be given dying grace... I've heard to many stories of those who have gone before and their experiences and the Lord has stated time and time again he will not leave us nor forsake us!... From the cradle to the grave he is always with us and when we breathe our last we will be with him forever!... Brother Glen
I believe when it comes my time to die I will be given dying grace... I've heard to many stories of those who have gone before and their experiences and the Lord has stated time and time again he will not leave us nor forsake us!... From the cradle to the grave he is always with us and when we breathe our last we will be with him forever!... Brother Glen
Sherrie,
There is a story Joni tells in her book "One Step Farther" which I want to share with you.
When a jeweler has a diamond of incredible beauty and value, he does not put it in with the other jewels. Instead, he puts it on a field of black and shines a light on it, showing it off to its full beauty.
If God has allowed your life to be that field of black, then you are the backdrop He is using to show off His grace in your life. I'm not trying to marginalize the pain and betrayals you have known. The pain is severe.
But it is not meaningless. We have seen the Lord shining through your messages on this board. I am sure others see His grace shining in your life where you are. A life like yours is the kind of life that shows others that God is big enough for anything. You are worth far, far more to the people around you than you have any idea of. I am sure that in your faith and smile you are bringing hope to those who didn't think it was possible for them.
You are very special, Sherrie.
Very.
In Christ,
Helen
There is a story Joni tells in her book "One Step Farther" which I want to share with you.
When a jeweler has a diamond of incredible beauty and value, he does not put it in with the other jewels. Instead, he puts it on a field of black and shines a light on it, showing it off to its full beauty.
If God has allowed your life to be that field of black, then you are the backdrop He is using to show off His grace in your life. I'm not trying to marginalize the pain and betrayals you have known. The pain is severe.
But it is not meaningless. We have seen the Lord shining through your messages on this board. I am sure others see His grace shining in your life where you are. A life like yours is the kind of life that shows others that God is big enough for anything. You are worth far, far more to the people around you than you have any idea of. I am sure that in your faith and smile you are bringing hope to those who didn't think it was possible for them.
You are very special, Sherrie.
Very.
In Christ,
Helen