Is it possible that your interpretation is correct and that this is only an analogy to describe those who have gone away from us and therefore were never of us. (as is the common defense)
Actually, that was not my defense. I had said that Christ was pointing out what such people deserved, as much of scripture shows what man deserves. But those who believe in Christ do not get what they deserve.
If I'm teaching and I use this parable, I refuse to qualify it saying, "But this won't happen to true Christians, because we all know that once your saved your always saved." Why? Christ didn't qualify it in that way. To do so undercuts the intent of his message, which is to strike fear in those who are apparent followers of Christ. Something that is desprately lacking in the modern day church.
BTW, when I visited Russia a few years ago I noticed a stark difference in the commitment level of the membership in the churches where we ministered. We were in about 50 different churches while we were their and everyone of the churches we attended ran higher numbers in attendance than was on their roles and many of them travelled hours by bus or train to get to their church. Most were living in very humble homes and didn't hesitate to give up anything they had to help another. I learned that every church we had visited was Arminian in its teachings, and I'm not just talking about the quasi 3 or 4 points, they believed they could lose their salvation and I could tell by talking with them that they really feared this.
The church tried using fear years ago, and all that ultimately led to was revolt. It may seem to preserve piety for a while, but it is a carnal form of manipulation and it will fall eventually. Because anybody can go through the motions of what you mentioned, but once again, where do you draw the line in which you maintain or lose your salvation? OK, I can have resentment, but if I openly persecute someone who has wronged me, then I am in danger. Christ shows in Matthew 7 that these two things are the same to God. And people get tired in a system where they cannot know for sure they are saved, and either give up and live any way they feel ("what's the use? I don't know whether I'm making it or not anyway?") or just presume they are doing good enough.
We are to fear God because of who He is, not because of what He will do to us. (for then we are acting as if we were not justified at all) Fear in that case is just due reverence, not being "afraid". We love Him for what He has done and will do for us, and true love casts out fear. The scriptures are offering warnings, not trying to terrify everyone into obedience; they are warning that persisting in sin offends the God we supposedly love, and He saved us from sin, not so that we could continue in sin.
The Calvinistic system doesn't strike fear and the quasi Arminian view that teaches "eternal security" doesn't strike fear either, yet the scripture does and I think that is significant.
Read Calvin, Edwards and Spurgeon, and see if they don't strike fear. Since the Calvinist position has clauses in it regarding "perseverance to the end", and even that God gives many non-elect people a false faith, that too motivates people to do works to prove they are elect. Many Calvinists are saying the same thing as you; that they have to avoid this false sense of security, and they speculate that their churches are full of "tares".
There are various scriptures that make it appear that salvation can be lost, and I have not completely answered all of them to myself. I read Charles Stanley's book on the subject, which answers them, but some do seem a bit far fetched. But if it is possible to lose salvation, I believe it would only be from deliberately walking away from Christ. Not because you didn't do something enough. The warnings in that case might be if you backslide too much, you may eventually renounce Christ. But it's not the sliding itself that puts you out of the faith, any more than doing the works gets or keeps you saved.
Even though we do not want to encourage backsliding, unforgiveness or any other sin, still, we must not come up with some pragmatic method of keeping people good that distorts the Gospel.
(Wow, you've only been on 2 months, and youve flown past the number of posts I've made in almost 2 years!)