As Iron Sharpens Iron

[SpiritualMadMan]

I woke up this morning thinking about this subject after requesting Dr. Bob to ghost post for me on
http://www.baptistboard.com/showthread.php?t=54906&highlight=forgiving
To give you some background...
I had Said:

Sometimes, "friends" at church "help" by helping us to see our faults in the worst possible light.

And Salamander asked a very reasonable question:

I agree with what he said, too, it's just how I wonder how the principle of iron sharpening iron would fit into his remarks about those who "helped" him to point out his faults?

I answered Salamander by private This way:

Iron Sharpens Iron...

Is a true statement that I agree with...

But, sometimes when faults are pointed out, it is with an "I'd never do that attitude" and the attendant disdain and inherent rejection...

The Scripture also says that Faithful are the wounds of a friend...

I've had friends sharpen me... But, I always knew they were true friends and they'd be there even with my faults... And, because of the true friendship the blow was a bit shoftened and repentance was easier, knowing that they would walk the path to the cross *with* me.

Hope this helps?

Wish I could post directly...

Maybe someone else will answer for me...

So, after waking up at 0330 with this topic on my mind... I finally dragged myself out of bed and scribbled a few notes, got a cup of tea and sat down to build this post.

First, after a ten hour day at work I wasn't all that clear as to whether I had included friends in quotes in my original post. I had.

So, how do I think about the general useage of "As Iron Sharpens Iron"?

Generally I think it gets abused. Here's why.

First, Iron is strong it has strength. Therefore, when Iron sharpens Iron it is from mutually understood strengths. One strength adding it's strength to anothers for mutual benefit.

Second, There is Sharpness. We're actually using the analogy of two Swords with keen edges each having had some part of its edge rolled over or otherwise blunted in battle, mutually being used to restore the edge to each other for return to service.

Third, This is edge to edge. No gut cuts. The actions are not intended to destroy but to restore or mend a blunted blade with the intent of a return to service.

Fourth, if you've tried this yourself, you'll know that it takes an expert to sharpen iron with iron without doing more damage to the blades.

So, a quoted "friend" is not a True Friend, is not an "expert", and (while not intending to) usually does more harm than good...

As a newly rededicated Christian, Pentecostal, I was Biblically Sharp as I devoured the Word. Unfortunately, I was also sharp-tongued and caused a great deal of grief with my very one-sided legalism. I didn't know how to put my arm around a persons shoulder and walk with them through their corrective healing.

In fact, corrective healing was one of the farthest things from my mind as I legalistically slashed my way towards self-righteousness...

Every church has people like I was, whether Calivinistic or Aremenian in basic tenet...

NEXT TIME (I am out of time this morning) I want to start a thread on (The Wounds of a Friend are Faithful.)
Mike Sr.

 

[Dr. Bob]

Good thoughts; appreciate your insights from personal experience

 

[Salamander]

I appreciate your insight SMM. I agree.

Many times the one receiving the abrasion doesn't undestand the intent of the other and sees it all wrong.

I have been on the side too many times of getting my "iron sharpened" by some very abrasive people.

I used to be heavily involved within a great ministry, some things ahhpened with some who were being ministered to. Those "in charge" are very quick to "let everyone KNOW' they are IN CHARGE! and don't need anyone to help them make a decsion regarding the situation. I won't go into the details but they are simply wrong not to alot the same discipline to all individuals at fault.

I got weary from the "chewing out" sessions and simply stepped down.

Some of the things said in these "sessions" were very hurtful. Let be quick to say I am NOT bitter, but I have seen this in a true light that to continue on in my particular area in this ministry, I needed to get out of the "crossfire".

It seems the one who heads up that ministry has some "issues" with other people he's "over" and is too quick to be effected by what other people have said to him about certain situations.

I have attempted several times to discuss this "issue" with the utmost respect but to no avail.:tear: I suppose time will have to be their teacher.

I fully understand the wounds of a "friend", ( in quotation to show the same meaning you gave). It seemed as if anyone who wasn't doing what they were doing to get so much praise from others, YOU were NOT right with God!

Funny thing about this brother is he was directly responsible for causing many young preachers to denounce their call to preach, get out in the world to marr their testimony, even offended greatly his "comrad in arms". The funny thing was he was expecting me to travel over 1,000 miles to come and do some work for him at his new church, free of charge and without any travel expenses previously arranged,:laugh: . I simply refused to answer him.

I've seen too much of the axe-grinding going on. It is usually steeped in arrogance and pride.

When one realizes their offensiveness is due to a good motive but a bad attitude, they too will get help and gain friends.

Something said to my wife and I early in our ministry was "Toughen up!" and this came from a woman who had been through much physical abuse along with all the mental junk that accompanies it.

Words are too often taken with a preconceived notion they are only meant to hurt.

Handling things with "kidgloves" is a good approach, but many times a wielding of the sword needs to be shown to those who are so intentionally opposed to themselves.

I believe we are too often misunderstood.:godisgood: and He does understand us.

 

[SpiritualMadMan]

Oh Lord, Please don't let me be misunderstood...

Salamander,

I know only too well the grief when you get in the middle of a "group" learning experience...

Some of us don't actually renounce their call...

They just quit trying after being told they are irrelevent one too many times...

That's one reason I came back to the Baptist Board, I enjoy the fellowship!

And, while I'll never be an "Honorary Baptist", there is so much we agree on...

Another Concept that I feel quite strongly about is that any Discipline Meted Out *must* have as Its Ultimate Goal the Restoration to Usefullness (or Ministry).

Again that's another thread. One it sounds like you and I would have a lot in common...

Mike Sr.
The Pastors Goal should be planned obsolecence not empire building.