As someone saved later in life...

[workinprogress]

I don't feel worthy of women that have been saved since they were young, has anyone else felt this way?

I've said this before, but I live in a small town with relatively few options...so I've made mistakes and gone on a few dates with unsaved women (yes, I regret it, yes my pastor has talked with me about it as I shared it with him).

However, I don't feel like I deserve the women that have lived for the Lord for most of their life. There are a couple of women that I'm interested in pursuing that I feel like they would be great to marry (both Mennonite - I know that opens another can of worms). I just can't shake this feeling that I should find someone else that was saved later in life. By later, I mean I was saved at 29 and I'm still 29, so someone saved in their 20's/late teens.

I guess I feel like I'd be unequally yoked in that they are much further along in their growth with Christ. I'm proud to say that somehow in my unsaved life I maintained chastity, so it's not that.

My pastor keeps saying God will bring the right woman into my life, and I have faith that He will...but is it ever tempting to leave this town for a metro area to find a significant other.

In a nutshell I'm really bummed out and I don't know what to do. The only two single women in my church it wouldn't work out with (one I dislike and the other...it's complicated).

Any advice would be appreciated. Again, I live in a small town...so I know this amplifies the issue.

 

[JamesL]

I think I remember you asking this severs months ago.
I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I can relate....somewhat

I was saved at 28 years old, and now I'm 44. My wife left 8 years ago, when my son was 6 months old. It's been me and him this whom time.

Up til last January, I lived in a town of 2,500 people. Finding a mate has felt impossible. I'm still single, still believing that if God has a mate for me I'll meet her.

Be patient, friend.

 

[blessedwife318]

My husband was saved at 20, I was saved at 5, but because of the discipleship my husband had soon after being saved, and continues to have to this day, I in no way feel like I'm years ahead of him in our Christian walk.
Keep studying and growing and you will be amazed at how much God can work in your life.
Have you thought about using the internet to find a mate. It will increase the number of women you come in contact with. And lets face it Dating is a numbers game no matter how you slice it. Just be open and honest about yourself.

 

[HAMel]

This is all quite foreign to me as I met my wife in high school. She then moved back to her home (up North) and we just kept it going. We're coming up on 50 years and while I've noticed a lot of attractive women along the way I've never met anyone that could take her place..., even if she can somehow make a 180 while backing into the car port.

As you say, you're still a "work-in-progress". When the time comes you'll know it.

 

[Tom Bryant]

My advice is to quit thinking about your "worthiness" or "unworthiness". Most husbands would admit that regardless of when we were saved, we are unworthy of the wonderful wife God brought to us. That plus God sees you as a new creation and worthy only because He has made you worthy.

Trust God to bring someone into your life. Don't try to force it at all. God's timing is an amazing thing.

 

[The American Dream]

In my case, my wife was the one unequally yoked. I thought I was saved. She was. I was not saved until age 42. We were both 24 when I got married. She stuck it out with me, despite myself. We have been married 38 years. In the respect that you are saved and looking for a saved mate that the Lord has picked out for you, I cannot offer any advice except that He has a person for you. If you are in a small town, maybe you should go to the largest town next to you to shop, see movies, etc. I believe in most cases we meet our spouse in day to day life of meeting new people. Old as I am, I am no much on the internet dating sites like E harmony. I think the best thing to do is just carry on with your daily routine. You will know the person God has picked out when you meet her. It is good to wait for the right person because that person is meant for you for life. There is nothing better and more helpful for forming a marriage that grows in love everyday than the person God meant for you. It also helps becoming a more mature Christian as you grow together.

 

[Revmitchell]

I don't feel worthy of women that have been saved since they were young, has anyone else felt this way?

I've said this before, but I live in a small town with relatively few options...so I've made mistakes and gone on a few dates with unsaved women (yes, I regret it, yes my pastor has talked with me about it as I shared it with him).

However, I don't feel like I deserve the women that have lived for the Lord for most of their life. There are a couple of women that I'm interested in pursuing that I feel like they would be great to marry (both Mennonite - I know that opens another can of worms). I just can't shake this feeling that I should find someone else that was saved later in life. By later, I mean I was saved at 29 and I'm still 29, so someone saved in their 20's/late teens.

I guess I feel like I'd be unequally yoked in that they are much further along in their growth with Christ. I'm proud to say that somehow in my unsaved life I maintained chastity, so it's not that.

My pastor keeps saying God will bring the right woman into my life, and I have faith that He will...but is it ever tempting to leave this town for a metro area to find a significant other.

In a nutshell I'm really bummed out and I don't know what to do. The only two single women in my church it wouldn't work out with (one I dislike and the other...it's complicated).

Any advice would be appreciated. Again, I live in a small town...so I know this amplifies the issue.

Here is what you need to remember:

1. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says you are not w new creature in Christ. You are no longer bound by the past as far as being a Christian.

2. It is very possible that God has set aside a woman for you that does not have the background you have. The reason I say this is because a couple like that would be a great balance.

3. In reading of Hebrews 12:1-5 we can see that we need to set aside the burdens of our lives past, present, and future and follow Jesus whole heartedly. If you do that the woman God has set aside for you will come out of that effort as she will be a complimentary part of what God has for you. In other words put God and His calling on your life (whatever that may be) first and He will add what is needed along the way with little to no effort on your part.

Sometimes we can over do our efforts because of our desire. What you desire is a good thing according to scripture but just pray for God to lead you as you are serving Him. Serve God first.

 

[The American Dream]

Here is what you need to remember:

1. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says you are not w new creature in Christ. You are no longer bound by the past as far as being a Christian.

2. It is very possible that God has set aside a woman for you that does not have the background you have. The reason I say this is because a couple like that would be a great balance.

3. In reading of Hebrews 12:1-5 we can see that we need to set aside the burdens of our lives past, present, and future and follow Jesus whole heartedly. If you do that the woman God has set aside for you will come out of that effort as she will be a complimentary part of what God has for you. In other words put God and His calling on your life (whatever that may be) first and He will add what is needed along the way with little to no effort on your part.

Sometimes we can over do our efforts because of our desire. What you desire is a good thing according to scripture but just pray for God to lead you as you are serving Him. Serve God first.

Great advice. One thing I find is people who live in the past, either burdened by some past sin, or actually act like they are still stuck in a past decade. To me, the only thing useful about the past is fond memories, and learning from our mistakes and sins.

 

[Rippon]

To me, the only thing useful about the past is fond memories, and learning from our mistakes and sins.

Indeed, Mike. You have not learned from your past sins. Do the honorable thing and admit your lies and leave the BB.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I was saved at 52 :laugh:

 

[Deacon]

I don't feel worthy of women that have been saved since they were young, has anyone else felt this way?

Just some thoughts:

1. It may give you a stronger desire to learn Christlikeness and dig into the word of God.

2. The time someone has been a Christian often has little to do with their maturity in Christ.

3. Perhaps you will value and honor her more than those uppity husbands who rule over their wives with a haughty spirit.

4. Just as when you were a first grade kid, the third graders seemed so old; but as you aged, three years is so short an age difference, so when you’ve been a Christian a while the differences may melt away.

5. She will be a "work-in-progress" too.

Rob

 

[OldRegular]

I don't feel worthy of women that have been saved since they were young, has anyone else felt this way?

My wife was a Christian when we started dating, I was not. My wife was a Christian when we married, I was not. I was converted when I was 34 years old after we had been married 9 years. Our marriage had nothing to do with "being worthy" it had to do with love.

I would call your attention to comment by a Southern Baptist theologian which I believe to be true:

W. T. Conner, a professor at the Southwestern Baptist Theological seminary early in the 20th century writes of election as follows [Christian Doctrine , page 155]:

“It [Election] means that God has decreed to bring certain ones, upon whom His heart has been eternally set, who are the objects of His eternal love, to faith in Jesus Christ as Saviour. When a man is saved he is not saved as a matter of chance or accident or fate; he is saved in pursuance of an eternal purpose of God. God saves man because He intends to. He saves a particular man, at a particular time, under a particular set of circumstances, because He intends to.”

And the same would be said of a woman!

My wife and I will celebrate our 59th anniversary on July 14 this year, God willing!

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[tyndale1946]

I was raised in a christen home. My parents joined the church when I was six. When it came to finding a wife she had to have a christian mindset or it wouldn't have worked. Yet we had good times and bad as all couples do. We were married for 30 years until she died. When I married a second time I searched for the same values and she also was looking for a church going man. I have been married to her for 10 years. We share a commonality in our love of the brothers and sisters we fellowship with and enjoy attending church. All I can say is we love the Lord and his people although there is sometime differences in doctrinal understanding and practice. I have had two Christian Women in my life and couldn't be more richly blessed. The Lord has truly been good to me although I feel I don't deserve it... Brother Glen