Asking for help

[Salty]

Found this on a FB page:

One of the things I have noticed over and over at the churches where I have pastored is the unfortunate cases of the church's benevolence being abused. This happens in many ways, but the main ways I have witnessed this happen is the same people will repeatedly attend one church in the area, but repeatedly go to another church in the area to always get help and they will not attend the church or give back to the church. On the alternative, I have witnessed people who will repeatedly go to multiple churches in area to ask for help, but never attend the church or give back to the church. What scripture would you use to teach your congregation that these things are wrong and policies need to be established to try their best to prevent this from happening? I know the church will never be able to weed this out completely.

So how would you answer?

 

[canadyjd]

When I pastored, we had a large Hispanic family come by, as church was over, asking for money to get to NY. The father had a deportation hearing in NY state, he said. They spoke almost no English.

He showed me his paperwork for the hearing. The court hearing was for “Vladimir Plahkolof”

I asked if he was “Vladimir”. He said, “Si”

Our senior elder, who is now with our Lord, was very clear. There were about 5 children with them. We were obligated to help the children. We took them out for lunch and gave them a tank of gas, but no money, and have them info about other groups that might help them.

Peace to you

 

[Deacon]

I live along the crowded I95 corridor in the Northeast U.S. in an affluent area. There are a lot of very wealthy people near by. Some of them even attend churches.

As wealthy as the area is, there are still quite a number of poor people around.

And there are some who make an art of begging.
They go to a church, tell their story, and get as much as they can get from them, then after a bit they disappear and go to the next church.

In response to this an organization was formed that pastors can direct people to for help. The organization comes to know those in need and cares for them. It handles with those that have made a job out of bilking churches of their benevolent funds.

During the cold winter nights the organization houses the homeless in local churches. They feed them and provide a safe, warm area to sleep.

Funds and volunteers are provided by various local churches. Volunteers are required to attend training sessions.

It’s a captive audience for witnessing, although those that serve are told that much of what they hear from the needy is untrue.

The organization is ecumenical, there is a very broad range of Christian churches supporting this ministry.

Rob

 

[Alan Gross]

Rejection is so sudden and harsh that the pain associated with it tends to leave us off guard and have the first impulse that the rejector 'must be right', simply because it hits such a strong nerve.

However, the 'nerve' may just be the rejector's discourteous jive talk and the nerve they hit contrived and invalid and in no way deserving of this type of general condemnation, "you're just being selfish".

The remedy for such an unwarranted assault is to simply "reject their rejection".

You say those words just like that. "I reject your rejection". Rejection is all that it is and it is made to end right there. If you choose to pick up on any portion of the subject, you can go from there and direct the conversation as you like, or not at all.

It's over just like that.

"I reject your rejection, haveaveryniceday."


Love seeketh not her own, or the things of self alone, above all others: it disdains a mean-spirited selfishness. Self-pleasing, self-will, self-applause, and self-interest alone, are no guides to generous love, nor have they power to rule and tyrannize over a benevolent and gracious heart.

Love is not characterised by selfishness. Benevolence and graciousness over rule the accusation of selfishness, as they say there.


Love doth not behave itself unseemly: i. e. it teaches us not to act out of character, or our of scheme, as the word signifies. True christian love understands the fitness, decorum, and beauty of tempers, actions; and words. Nothing teaches the loveliness of behaviour so well as love; as it will not meanly sneak out of the place and station where providence has fixed us; so it will not haughtly invade another man's province or office, or scornfully trample on his person, honour, and usefulness.

Love does not lead one to haughtily invade another person's use by the Providence of God and rudely insult their intentions and intelligence.

Love thinketh no evil: this word signifies to reason out and to impute. Love is not forward to reason out or dig up mischief concerning other men: it takes no pleasure in raking into characters, in order to expose them or prying into the secrets of private families, in order to blast their reputation. Love is not violent to impute evil to other men, and rashly and cruelly to charge evil to another man's account, and to think the worst of every man we dislike.

Love does not look to impute ill will or bad intentions on another's personal work for the Lord.

This kid needs to be taught what love sounds like vs what their insufferable attitude sounds like.


Comments on love from: The Beauty of Social Religion; or, the Nature and Glory of a Gospel Church, Circular Letter, Baptist Association at Rutlandshire, 1777.

 

[Salty]

As far as allowing people to stay in your church bldg - a local pastor has told us that once he let someone in to spend the night - they had problem getting them out - as they could not evict him. Could be that is just a situation in NY State - so, I trust you have a lawyer in your church!

If in doubt - check it out

 

[Crystal Hudson]

Addressing the issue of benevolence abuse in a church setting is both delicate and important. While it's true that you can't completely eliminate such instances, establishing policies and communicating biblical principles can help guide your congregation in handling benevolence wisely. Here are some scriptural references and principles you might consider:

1. Teaching on Responsibility:
   
   • 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (NIV): "For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: 'The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.'"
   Emphasize the importance of personal responsibility and the biblical principle that work is a honorable means of sustenance.
   
   
2. Discernment and Accountability:
   
   • Matthew 7:15-16 (NIV): "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit, you will recognize them."
   Encourage the congregation to exercise discernment and accountability, both in their giving and in identifying genuine needs.
   
   
3. Community and Mutual Support:
   
   • Galatians 6:2 (NIV): "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ."
   Emphasize the communal aspect of the church, where members support one another genuinely and not just when they need assistance.
   
   
4. Stewardship of Resources:
   
   • 1 Timothy 5:8 (NIV): "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
   Remind the congregation of the importance of stewarding resources wisely, taking care of their families, and being responsible with what they have.
   
   
5. Establishing Benevolence Policies:
   
   Work with church leaders to develop clear benevolence policies that include guidelines on how assistance is given, criteria for eligibility, and a process for accountability.
   
   
6. Building Relationships:
   
   Encourage the congregation to build relationships with those seeking assistance. This can help discern genuine needs and provide an opportunity for pastoral care beyond just financial support.
   
   
7. Teaching on Giving:
   
   • 2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV): "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."
   Teach on the joy of giving willingly and the impact of generosity on the giver's heart.
   

Remember, the key is to balance compassion with wisdom, ensuring that the church's resources are used to genuinely help those in need while discouraging misuse. Open communication and education on these biblical principles can guide your congregation in navigating these complex situations.

 

[Alan Gross]

Teach on the joy of giving willingly and the impact of generosity on the giver's heart.

Remember, the key is to balance compassion with wisdom

Superb reply, Crystal! Bravo!

You reminded me of the words of one wise old Christian sage,
"I'm BLESSED, not dumb!"

 

[Judith]

Found this on a FB page:

One of the things I have noticed over and over at the churches where I have pastored is the unfortunate cases of the church's benevolence being abused. This happens in many ways, but the main ways I have witnessed this happen is the same people will repeatedly attend one church in the area, but repeatedly go to another church in the area to always get help and they will not attend the church or give back to the church. On the alternative, I have witnessed people who will repeatedly go to multiple churches in area to ask for help, but never attend the church or give back to the church. What scripture would you use to teach your congregation that these things are wrong and policies need to be established to try their best to prevent this from happening? I know the church will never be able to weed this out completely.

So how would you answer?

If you know this is going on there is a little two letter word that fixes this. The word is "no".

 

[Roy Kling]

We have kind of an opposite problem at our church.

We have a food bank on Tuesday afternoons, all are welcome no matter how often or their situation. Everyone can get a preloaded bag with some canned goods, dry goods such as spaghetti, a rice dish, and/or a box of instant mashed potatoes, cereal, a sweet, and a snack bag. Pretty standard fare. In addition there;s breads and other baked goods, sometimes meat, and fruits and vegatables they can choose and bag as they please.

Some folks are shut ins or don't have transportation, for those we deliver. Now, it seems there's a growing reluctance of some to come and get needed food out of simple stubborn pride. Our area is well known to the city, (20 miles away) for it's work ethic, of which we pride ourselves, however we have some who can no longer work because of injury who have families and their pride and only their pride keeps them from coming in.

Many times baked goods, fruits, and vegatables are dropped off at a local farm for animal feed when there are people in need who could use it.

 

[tyndale1946]

Asking for help?... Well let me tell you this little church story, I know cause I was there... Church had just finished and we were going to lunch, which was at the church... The brethren were gathered in front of the church talking as a young lady approached and said I urgently need to talk to your Pastor... The Pastor said, we are all friends here what do you need?... She said sir I need money to feel my children... He said: Well we won't give you any money but I'll tell you what we will do... We are fixing to go to lunch and there is plenty for everyone, so you go home and bring your children here and you can go in the front of the line and fill your plates as many times as you like... So she left and we never saw her again... I heard one of the deacons comment later... What happened to that young lady with children?... Our Pastor said... I guess she and her children, just weren't hungry... Brother Glen

 

[Deacon]

I volunteered at a local church’s food bank for a year or two.
There were various jobs that needed to be filled.
I would usually carry the food to the vehicles and take the opportunity to talk to the people.

Abuse of the system was rampant. I became discouraged when I saw that their cars were newer and fancier than mine. Quite often couples would come separately, claiming different addresses, so they could double up the amount of food

I estimated that one in four might have a physical need that the church could help with (sometimes these would even listen and respond to the gospel), the others were simply abusing the system.

Rob

 

[Piper]

Help where you can, even if occasionally you are taken advantage of. I'd rather be taken advantage of now and then, rather than getting to heaven and having Jesus say "Why didn't you help me?"