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Attendance and Chronic Illness

nodak

Active Member
Site Supporter
We are older but take a grade schooler to church with us.

Over the last couple of years the services have gradually lengthened to near two hours. Between having a youngster who finds that too long, one of us being post polio and the other with a bad back, we've had to be a bit creative. Our current pastor doesn't like people arriving late or leaving early.

We attend Sunday School and usually leave right after that. It gives us that connect with the church time. Between podcasts and televised services from other churches, we make do. And we participate as we can in Bible studies outside of Sunday held at church. With one of us with glaucoma and both with cataracts we don't do the midweek service, the only pm one we have. But in the warm months when it is still daylight to go and come home, we also have that. Those services are shorter, more like a regular hour long service just the sermon portion is interactive.

Our preference would be to attend SS, then stay for as much of the service as we could and slip out quietly when we couldn't stay any longer. As it bothers the pastor for folks to do that, we do like most of the families with children younger than 12 or so and just leave after SS.
 

Gina B

Active Member
Wow. I've met and heard of pastors who are bothered by stuff like this, but it always gets to me. I guess I was spoiled by a pastor in a church we once attended that enjoyed having entire families in the service, no matter what the age. He felt church was for everyone. It was not uncommon for him to just pick up a crying baby and walk around and continue preaching while trying to console the child, or to take a pause for a giggling baby. (because who doesn't stop and laugh along with a baby who breaks into fits of giggling?!)
Usually though, services went along fine, but he always went with the flow and it in no way took away from the services.
If anything, it bonded us together. Nobody was stressed if a baby cried, nobody tip toed around trying not to tick off everyone, nobody felt bad for something they couldn't control. Someone would walk in late and he'd stop and ask if they were okay...one time it was a problem with the guy's cows on his farm and he immediately had volunteers to go help him look them over after the services for whatever the problem might have been.

I just don't know why it's a problem for our congregations to be like that everywhere. Maybe our churches have just grown to large to be people oriented when people having people problems are too much of a distraction?
 

Judith

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
What do you think would be too distracting?

What would be a point where, perhaps, the members should think about the sick people instead of forcing them into more isolation than they already go through?

Perhaps the so called sick person should think about those attending who need the Lord instead of thinking about themselves by expecting oters to be disturbed by their actions. Just because someone has a peoblem does nto mean everyone else should be inconvienced. The church I atend a sister brings her retarded son. He is an adult but relies on her heavily. She makes sure he sets still and does not disturb the service. We have others who are old and need help getting to their seats and we all are willing to help. All this is fine, but if a person has a condition where they cannot set still and feel they need to get up and walk around and disturb the service they need to do so in another area.
 
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nodak

Active Member
Site Supporter
Perhaps what we need is balance.

The idea anyone deserves the perfect worship service, whether that is freedom to walk around when pain strikes or the freedom to sit and soak (and maybe sour) for two hours without anyone else fidgeting, moving, or needing a bathroom break might be a foolish idea.

I don't think the older or infirm are suggesting the services become free for alls. Would be nice to be able, seated in the back, to quietly slip out when you need to (and return if able) without being seen as ruining worship for everyone else.

Can you imagine when the folks brought their paralytic friend to Jesus through the roof tiles? Sounds like at some Baptist churches they would be told to go away, disabled folks are not welcome.
 

Gina B

Active Member
Can you imagine when the folks brought their paralytic friend to Jesus through the roof tiles? Sounds like at some Baptist churches they would be told to go away, disabled folks are not welcome.

While it wasn't quite the intention of this thread, it brings up conversations and such I've had with families who have children with different types of disabilities and their frustrations with being able to attend worship services. I've found it to be quite different in different areas, though always a problem no matter where one is geographically.

I've talked to too many parents who simply quit going because other people cannot handle the "distraction." Even with more modern buildings that do accommodate wheelchairs and such, that isn't always the problem or need. The mindset is still the major block for these people - the limited acceptance and people who feel it is an intrusion on their spiritual lives to have to "deal with" someone who is too different from them.

It's odd that the church is looking like the worst culprit when it comes to ostracizing the sick and disabled, especially considering that the opposite example is shown to us by the very founder and giver of our faith. Why do the opposite in our churches?
 

saturneptune

New Member
How do you work with members who are chronically ill (not contagious, think mental illness or meds that make them sleepy or pain that makes them have to move to keep it down) and cannot sit through an entire service for one reason or the other? Have you ever dealt with this in your congregation?
Have you ever had a member who needed to stand up and move and walked along the back at times? Was your congregation okay with it? If this was a situation, what was the size of your congregation?
Would you prefer such a member stay home and listen to podcasts, or would you be comfortable with the member bringing up the situation and asking to be able to move about during services in an attempt to keep attending?

As I have said before, I work in an adult day care. When I first went to work there about two years ago, some of the folks who attend the day care also attended our church. Our congregation was very, very understanding and accommodating. Some of the disruptions included loud clapping to music, saying loud amens after others said them, bathroom breaks, and the like. Our congregation is a loving bunch and accepts anyone. They went out of their way to help these folks, whether it was to move out of aisles or help them get their food at a pot luck. Whenever one of them won an award at a Special Olympics, a time was set aside in the service to recognize them. Members were always doing small things for them financially when we went on an outing.

I have got to say, between our loving congregation, and the pure hearts of these mentally challenged folks, this was a real treat to observe and worship around. This is the Lord in action.
 

agedman

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I have always had difficulties with the hand shaking and "pre -worship" jabbering.

Both are out of character for true worship in my opinion.

The hand shaking always has some over zealous person who has to crush my arthritic hands, and honestly, I find no expectation of worship when I am being abused by such.

The pre-worship jabber is so distracting. If you want to laugh and tell jokes - do it elsewhere. I want to read the Scriptures and listen for the impulse of the Holy Spirit guiding me into confession and wisdom.

Thankfully, I am not yet consumed with such a plague that I have to avoid assemblies.

I do think I will look into what Sapper Woody does.

I can sit in my car, read the Word, and wait about 20 minutes into the service - avoid much distractions and problems.

But then some jerk will come bang on my window and startle me awake.

:(

Agedman is the service just for you? In your post you used "I" six times. Too many people are selfish in the church. They want it their way while forgetting that corporate worship is a shared experience. Perhaps if many would stop worrying about what others are doing or aren't doing true worship might actually become a possibility.

Hate to inform you but worship IS personal.

Too many folks buy into "corporate worship" as if it is some unity work of having a "shared experience" that is what is important.

The unity of the assembly is that each member worships in the most honest personal way.

I don't know about your church, but the selfish are folks who would think they can abuse others and call it the "right hand of fellowship."

True worship is worshiping God in spirit and in truth. Not having a jabber fest, telling jokes, gossiping, and all other manner of distractions from the primary reason for the gathering.

I am all for fellowship and visiting - but that is NOT worship, nor should it be considered worship.

And be sure to count how many "I" words. That is a very valid indication that "I" am the problem, and that "I" am too concerned with what "I" desire and what "I" consider appropriate, and that "I" am just selfish.

:saint:
 

Earth Wind and Fire

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Hate to inform you but worship IS personal.

Too many folks buy into "corporate worship" as if it is some unity work of having a "shared experience" that is what is important.

The unity of the assembly is that each member worships in the most honest personal way.

I don't know about your church, but the selfish are folks who would think they can abuse others and call it the "right hand of fellowship."

True worship is worshiping God in spirit and in truth. Not having a jabber fest, telling jokes, gossiping, and all other manner of distractions from the primary reason for the gathering.

I am all for fellowship and visiting - but that is NOT worship, nor should it be considered worship.

And be sure to count how many "I" words. That is a very valid indication that "I" am the problem, and that "I" am too concerned with what "I" desire and what "I" consider appropriate, and that "I" am just selfish.

:saint:

You have rendered me confused. Not to be antisocial, but chit chat & hand shaking & social activities & even sharing meals with other church folks is not my idea of fun....would rather be home with my own family breaking bread, having family time & praying together. Have also picked up more colds since going to a church the last few weeks. Also, when Old School Baptists assemble (my own particular choice in churches--not evident in New Jersey), the entire family is there to learn from the Pastor, not just a segregated Mens Bible Study, a segregated Womens Bible Study & kids only SS on Sunday morning....so am not an advocate of meeting separately. I really love it when my wife is there at my side to learn & then we can discuss it later at home. This is how we do it & my wife & I can have friendly chit chat on the Pastors message.

Lastly, we Old School Baptists have many different pastors & elders coming in as guest speakers so we have a rich supply of speakers on a yearly basis & dont have to rely on one guy each and every week. Id rather hear sermons by different godly men & the Internet can provide it (it breaks it up & you get different prospectives). So why do I have to be physically present each week at a place that Id rather not be at. Is torture part of the Christian system? :laugh:
 
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agedman

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
You have rendered me confused. Not to be antisocial, but chit chat & hand shaking & social activities & even sharing meals with other church folks is not my idea of fun....would rather be home with my own family breaking bread, having family time & praying together. Have also picked up more colds since going to a church the last few weeks. Also, when Old School Baptists assemble (my own particular choice in churches--not evident in New Jersey), the entire family is there to learn from the Pastor, not just a segregated Mens Bible Study, a segregated Womens Bible Study & kids only SS on Sunday morning....so am not an advocate of meeting separately. I really love it when my wife is there at my side to learn & then we can discuss it later at home. This is how we do it & my wife & I can have friendly chit chat on the Pastors message.

Lastly, we Old School Baptists have many different pastors & elders coming in as guest speakers so we have a rich supply of speakers on a yearly basis & dont have to rely on one guy each and every week. Id rather hear sermons by different godly men & the Internet can provide it (it breaks it up & you get different prospectives). So why do I have to be physically present each week at a place that Id rather not be at. Is torture part of the Christian system? :laugh:
Perhaps you quoted me, but were expressing your thoughts to someone else's post.

I agree with you in this, and besides - too often young preachers forget that we elderly have small bladders. :(

At home, I can pause, I can rewind, I can even fast forward.
 
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