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Bad Advice Only

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thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Salty said:
Grab a handful and put in on the TV when Joel Osteen in "preaching"

I want to "time travel" back to the 50's so I can watch great TV shows Like Mr. Ed
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Develop faster-than-light hyper drive, buy an old Titan III missile from the USAF, build a capsule that will carry you and a couple weeks supplies, plus a television and old VCR. Launch, outrun the radio signals, and then intercept all the shows you want and record them before safely returning home.

Dog is worthless chasing the rabbit that likes to try to nibble on our lettuce out of the yard ...
 
C

convicted1

Guest
thisnumbersdisconnected said:
Develop faster-than-light hyper drive, buy an old Titan III missile from the USAF, build a capsule that will carry you and a couple weeks supplies, plus a television and old VCR. Launch, outrun the radio signals, and then intercept all the shows you want and record them before safely returning home.

Dog is worthless chasing the rabbit that likes to try to nibble on our lettuce out of the yard ...
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Buy a Chinese Pug...it'll help the rabbit eat the lettuce and when the lettuce is gone, so will be the rabbit....


Hoe handle broke....
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Go spend $1,400 on a garden tiller, then another $1,000 jacking it up off the ground to accept custom-built weeding attachments.

Carpenters on new model home can't seem to put a wall in the right place ...
 
C

convicted1

Guest
thisnumbersdisconnected said:
Go spend $1,400 on a garden tiller, then another $1,000 jacking it up off the ground to accept custom-built weeding attachments.

Carpenters on new model home can't seem to put a wall in the right place ...
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Go hire some republican carpenters....they're always on the right....


Can't find weeding attacment for that $2,400 tiller.....
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Look on yp.com for machine shops, interview owners until you find a design engineer and tell him you'll pay whatever it costs to get those attachments designed and manufactured.

Interviewed a bunch of carpenters, but all of them are Libertarian ...
 
C

convicted1

Guest
thisnumbersdisconnected said:
Look on yp.com for machine shops, interview owners until you find a design engineer and tell him you'll pay whatever it costs to get those attachments designed and manufactured.

Interviewed a bunch of carpenters, but all of them are Libertarian ...
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Go to the Mexican border, hire the first three named "Jose"....when they mess up, show them their error, and ask them this, "Jose' can't you see....."


Carpenters I hired are wicked, and when I confronted them, they wouldn't carpent of their evil deeds. Now what?
 
C

convicted1

Guest
Salty said:
Counteroffer with a Question Mark



We only have one fan

I want it in my office, Mrs Salty wants it in the kitchen
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Have a 'Solomon moment'. While it's running, take a sword and cut it in half...that way both have half a fan....


Foot's itching....
 
C

convicted1

Guest
Is that what happens when your miffed spouse looks at you and say g'out?

If it's in your foot cut it off. If it's in your wrist or anyother joint, drink some cyanide....


Outboard motor won't start...
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
Row, row, row your boat ...

Come to think of it, replace every vehicle, electrical and mechanical appliance and tool you have ... They all seem to be wearing out.
Get an unlimited Home Depot credit card to cover the expense.

Double-mowed, fertilized and "anti-grubbed" the yard, adjusted the sprinkler system heads over the weekend. Now too tired to check on subcontractors or deal with clients today ...
 
C

convicted1

Guest
Where I came from, we have a one word phrase....TOUGH....but if you're a wimp, find the guy who had the Penthouse mag you "found".....give it back to him. He can then take it over to the site and beat them with it. How that solves your problem, I have not a clue. This is a thread for bad advice, and believe me, what I gave you was truly bad advice.

If you don't like it...TOUGH...I'm not Dr. Phil....

Kite won't fly, even in 30 MPH winds....
 
C

convicted1

Guest
thisnumbersdisconnected said:
Trash it. Take flying lessons.

Have a friend who seems to think "tough" overcomes "tired" in all occasions and occurrences.
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First off, where' d this "friend" stuff come from?? LOL...

Get some milkbones, toss them before some pit bulls and try to take them back. This'll toughen you up...


Pug just got up from her nap....
 
T

thisnumbersdisconnected

New Member
You've got a lot of nerve describing "tough" when you own a pug. Get out the Q-Tips and alcohol, you probably haven't cleaned out her wrinkles lately ... :laugh:

Heat index is 105 in good ole' Overland Park. Roofing crew left one house at noon, framers a half hour later from across the street ...
 
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