Blech!! I hate that!!
Holidays are very tough for me for a variety of reasons.
I try to stay busy, but I have decided that being busy for busyness' sake is artificial.
To whomever wants to listen:
It started this year on October 12th. I don't know how I hurt my foot, but somehow I pulled or tore or did something to the tendon on the outside of my right foot which I found out is a thick tendon and does not heal quickly. When I went to the doctor and got an x-ray just in case, it showed osteo-arthritis, also.
My wonderful father told me many times that getting old "ain't for sissies!". I know that this adage will only prove true the older I get and that a damaged tendon and arthritis of the foot is minor compared to most. I know that.
Thank goodness for my mother's walker!! And the "boot" , I hated. The doctor looked down at my feet and shoes and told me when I hobbled in for my foot to be examined and x-rayed, "Nice shoes". It was no compliment!! I wear cheap fashion flats from Wal-Mart with absolutely no support. I've worn cute, but ineffective shoes like these for over 30 years. Cute and cheap. IF you love your wives, mothers, sisters, and girlfriends, please - go through their shoe closets and help them get some decent shoes.
Knowing she was not complimenting me, I said, "Do I need better, but ugly granny shoes?" She, not smiling, said, "Well, there comes a time in our lives when we need to....."
I, feeling the holidays approaching, rudely interrupted her and said, "OK, wait!! Are you saying WE or ME?" She said, again, not smiling her usual chipper way, said, "OK, YOU."
We had a long discussion before the x-ray about shoe brands.
Thank the Lord for therapy. It was not fun. At all. But I finished it a couple of weeks ago.
So UNABLE to stay busy through the holidays and being at a disadvantage in not being able to 100% take care of my brother as best I could and the house and not being able to climb the steps to the piano at church for several weeks, each day just brought more grumpiness on.
I neglected my Bible studies, too. That has brought on more grief.
I see now how just one small oppression can link arms with other small ones and a couple of big ones to compound everything into one great big mess of the spiritual nature.
I am grateful for not only the two physical therapists I had and will have again, because they are also balance specialists and after this, I am left without 100% of my balance. I told them that I am coming back in probably March or April for a round or two of balance workouts, but I am also grateful for my regular therapist who is a wonderful Godly and Christian man. I see him by myself and in a small group. He lets my brother come to group also.
Last Friday, in group, I was crying and whiney for a few minutes. The others asked my brother about our Christmas decorations. I had to tell them we did NOTHING decoration wise and have not for four years. I felt ridiculous and stupid.
But when one of us gets that way in group, we all know not to treat that person as ridiculous and stupid. One lady, who has two adult children that were murdered on two separate occasions by separate people asked me, "Who are you angry at." I told her truthfully, "I don't know'". She said, "I was angry at God even though I am not anymore." She is a Christian, too. My therapist said, "Perhaps you are angry at yourself. " I said, "Oh, I know I am." The lady with the murdered children said, "Why?". Our therapist said, "She may not know why right now." Then he told me to go out that day and just get a window candle or star and put in the window. One that plugs in. Nothing else.
I went home and ordered a star one, but it didn't come in until yesterday! LOL!!!! And it's only an ornament for a tree. But I'm going to hang it on my den wall under my clock for the whole of 2026 as a reminder that God is with me, loves me, and that everyday that I wake up is a blessing untold and that God has something for me to do, including being in his word and fleeing this spiritual oppression I feel most days.
One wouldn't think that a sore foot and having to use a walker for several weeks would do such a number on me and bring out the worst in me like that. But the devil has his bag of tricks.
Pray for me for 2026. I am convinced that God has something for me to do - could be large or super, duper minor. And the devil has me building a wall around myself to keep me in a stronghold.
Thanks for reading.
Holidays are very tough for me for a variety of reasons.
I try to stay busy, but I have decided that being busy for busyness' sake is artificial.
To whomever wants to listen:
It started this year on October 12th. I don't know how I hurt my foot, but somehow I pulled or tore or did something to the tendon on the outside of my right foot which I found out is a thick tendon and does not heal quickly. When I went to the doctor and got an x-ray just in case, it showed osteo-arthritis, also.
My wonderful father told me many times that getting old "ain't for sissies!". I know that this adage will only prove true the older I get and that a damaged tendon and arthritis of the foot is minor compared to most. I know that.
Thank goodness for my mother's walker!! And the "boot" , I hated. The doctor looked down at my feet and shoes and told me when I hobbled in for my foot to be examined and x-rayed, "Nice shoes". It was no compliment!! I wear cheap fashion flats from Wal-Mart with absolutely no support. I've worn cute, but ineffective shoes like these for over 30 years. Cute and cheap. IF you love your wives, mothers, sisters, and girlfriends, please - go through their shoe closets and help them get some decent shoes.
Knowing she was not complimenting me, I said, "Do I need better, but ugly granny shoes?" She, not smiling, said, "Well, there comes a time in our lives when we need to....."
I, feeling the holidays approaching, rudely interrupted her and said, "OK, wait!! Are you saying WE or ME?" She said, again, not smiling her usual chipper way, said, "OK, YOU."
We had a long discussion before the x-ray about shoe brands.
Thank the Lord for therapy. It was not fun. At all. But I finished it a couple of weeks ago.
So UNABLE to stay busy through the holidays and being at a disadvantage in not being able to 100% take care of my brother as best I could and the house and not being able to climb the steps to the piano at church for several weeks, each day just brought more grumpiness on.
I neglected my Bible studies, too. That has brought on more grief.
I see now how just one small oppression can link arms with other small ones and a couple of big ones to compound everything into one great big mess of the spiritual nature.
I am grateful for not only the two physical therapists I had and will have again, because they are also balance specialists and after this, I am left without 100% of my balance. I told them that I am coming back in probably March or April for a round or two of balance workouts, but I am also grateful for my regular therapist who is a wonderful Godly and Christian man. I see him by myself and in a small group. He lets my brother come to group also.
Last Friday, in group, I was crying and whiney for a few minutes. The others asked my brother about our Christmas decorations. I had to tell them we did NOTHING decoration wise and have not for four years. I felt ridiculous and stupid.
But when one of us gets that way in group, we all know not to treat that person as ridiculous and stupid. One lady, who has two adult children that were murdered on two separate occasions by separate people asked me, "Who are you angry at." I told her truthfully, "I don't know'". She said, "I was angry at God even though I am not anymore." She is a Christian, too. My therapist said, "Perhaps you are angry at yourself. " I said, "Oh, I know I am." The lady with the murdered children said, "Why?". Our therapist said, "She may not know why right now." Then he told me to go out that day and just get a window candle or star and put in the window. One that plugs in. Nothing else.
I went home and ordered a star one, but it didn't come in until yesterday! LOL!!!! And it's only an ornament for a tree. But I'm going to hang it on my den wall under my clock for the whole of 2026 as a reminder that God is with me, loves me, and that everyday that I wake up is a blessing untold and that God has something for me to do, including being in his word and fleeing this spiritual oppression I feel most days.
One wouldn't think that a sore foot and having to use a walker for several weeks would do such a number on me and bring out the worst in me like that. But the devil has his bag of tricks.
Pray for me for 2026. I am convinced that God has something for me to do - could be large or super, duper minor. And the devil has me building a wall around myself to keep me in a stronghold.
Thanks for reading.