"But its just lunch?"

[blackbird]

Probably about 99.9 % of the adulterous relationships I have known PERSONALLY started out as something innocent---usually by folks who wouldn't "dream" about beginning one!

A pastor I know and one of his deacons---went in halves on a skiboat----just some innocent fun together with the wives down on the river! Things led to things and this pastor started seeing the deacon's wife---asked by the rest of the deacons to stop--he refused---

You who think you stand(or can stand) take heed lest ye fall!!

 

[Tonya R]

Probably about 99.9 % of the adulterous relationships I have known PERSONALLY started out as something innocent---usually by folks who wouldn't "dream" about beginning one!

A pastor I know and one of his deacons---went in halves on a skiboat----just some innocent fun together with the wives down on the river! Things led to things and this pastor started seeing the deacon's wife---asked by the rest of the deacons to stop--he refused---

You who think you stand(or can stand) take heed lest ye fall!!

You play with fire ya gonna get burned.

Tonya

 

[LadyEagle]

Proverbs 5:[15] Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

 

[dianetavegia]

I cannot tell you how many marriages I've seen destroyed by 'innocent' lunches with men or women you work with..... leading into adultery. Workplace affairs are very common.

An American Management Association (AMA 2000) study found that 80 percent of workers surveyed knew of or had been involved in an office romance.

• 50-70 percent of all American marriages end in divorce. (2003)

• Within the last decade, incidents of adultery have risen to this alarming rate of 50-70 percent in America. (2003)

• 50-75 percent of extramarital affairs take place with someone from the workplace. (2003)

Diane

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

If the lunch is 'innocent', I see no problem with taking your spouse along.

God gave us common sense to use and if we do not RUN from temptation and the appearance of evil - we are not using what God gave us for our own protection and happiness in Him.

Too many Christians are trying to see how far they can 'push the line' instead of seeing how far they can 'stay away from it'.

§ue

 

[blackbird]

Tonya---these fellas didn't know they were playin' with fire---it didn't start out that way! It started out innocent----time spent in innocence sparked a fire and then stoked it as well!

Blackbird

 

[Pete Richert]

This is about three pages back now, but I got to get to that David off to war thing. I agree fully with Daniel David. The Bible says nothing about God issuing some command that David needed to be off in war at this particular time of year this paticular year. It makes a general statement about when kings go out to war, good kings and bad, and doesn't represent every king, not every circumstance etc. Perhaps David was supposed to be off to war but it is not explicit in the text. However, there is explicit sin on David's part spelled out in the text, the adultry with Basheba and the murder of Uriah. The Bible is clear about the sin he did have we don't need to add on more or try to make some causaul relation.

 

[Tonya R]

Tonya---these fellas didn't know they were playin' with fire---it didn't start out that way! It started out innocent----time spent in innocence sparked a fire and then stoked it as well!

Blackbird

I see. Maybe what they thought was innocent wasn't so innocent after all.

 

[Aaron]

Originally posted by SALTCITYBAPTIST:
A subject came up today. Is it wrong for a married women to have lunch with a married man, who is not her husband?

That's the wrong question. The question should be, what is righteous about it?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Our church staff goes to lunch as a group at least once a week, and I have gone with them many oat time. I doubt I would eat lunch with my pastor alone, but if we did, it would be very open. I wouldn't with my music minister or education minister--I wouldn't choose to do that period, because --I don't know why.

I have gone to lunch many times with my youth pastor--It is usually because we have a lot to talk about.

Lunch alone with any other married man? I doubt it. There aren't many single men I want to be seen with, for concern about the tongue.

 

[Lorelei]

The fact still remains that there is no scripture to back up anyone's opinion that it is wrong. Scripture is silent on the issue and as with many things in life, God expects us to use our brains in making such decisions. Some people have gone to the extreme that the scribes and pharisees did. Remember God desires mercy not sacrifice!

Matt 12:7-8
7 If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent.
(NIV)

I hope my husband never leaves my friend standing in the rain, and he wouldn't want me to leave his friend there either.

The Bible teaches that if we walk in the Spirit we won't fulfill the desires of the flesh. Keeping in step with the Spirit is enough to keep us from commiting adultery, we don't need extra rules and regulations, just to make sure we are ok.

Gal 5:16-18

16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
(NIV)

So use your brain, that is what God gave them to us for. If you are going to be tempted to have an affair, then stay away from such situations. If you keep your mind on Christ and not the flesh, it shouldn't be a problem. If the person is obviously attracted to you, then do not cause them to stumble by tempting them. Otherwise, enjoy the friendships that God has blessed you with, after all they are supposed to be our brothers and sisters in Christ. It sounds like most people say we are brothers and sisters but as soon as we do something brotherly we toss the title aside and let our carnal thoughts runaway with us. How sad.

~Lorelei

 

[Bob Farnaby]

Quote "So use your brain, that is what God gave them to us for. If you are going to be tempted to have an affair, then stay away from such situations. If you keep your mind on Christ and not the flesh, it shouldn't be a problem. If the person is obviously attracted to you, then do not cause them to stumble by tempting them. Otherwise, enjoy the friendships that God has blessed you with, after all they are supposed to be our brothers and sisters in Christ. It sounds like most people say we are brothers and sisters but as soon as we do something brotherly we toss the title aside and let our carnal thoughts runaway with us. How sad.

~Lorelei "

I agree.

Is sad to see so much fear in this group about simply being a friend to a person of the opposite sex who is married. A practical applicatioon of common sense is what is needed. If you don't trust yourself with a particular woman or man then stay away. If it's something you are secrative about then it's wrong. If your spouse knows and is comfortable with it then where's the problem?

Regards
Bob

 

[Gib]

A person who has adulterous intentions is going to try to put themselves in a situation that may make it happen, whether its a lunch or not.

My best friend in the world in Cheryl, my wife. I have had other close friends over the years. Off hand 8 people come to mind. All are men except for one.

She and I have been friends for about 8 years. We work together, go to church together, sing together and love to eat together. Her husband is my accountant and deacon in our church. I spend more awake time with her and my other co-workers, than I do my family.

We go to lunch together from time to time. Many of those times is with one or both of our spouses. We have asked other co-workers to go with us. Many times I have lunch with her husband. On occassion it's by ourselves. We usually talk about church. It's like being on the BB live. We don't see eye to eye on all the practices of the local church.

Cheryl is fully aware of my lunch dates. I call her and let her know what I'm doing. If I was doing it in secret, there might be a problem. When it's all said and done, Cheryl is who I go home to. I've been known to have lunch with her from time to time.

 

[Ransom]

Aaron asked:

The question should be, what is righteous about it?

Food . . .
Camaraderie . . .
Good conversation . . .

 

[Karen]

I have to agree with Lorelei. If you see me with my car broken down by the side of the road, and we know each other, please don't just wish me well silently and go on by.
You might be putting someone at further risk by refusing to help them.
My husband has been in several wrecks not his fault, in which the ambulance has been called for him.
I am grateful for all the people who stopped to help. My husband has also assisted at a number of wrecks. Are we just friendlier in OK?

If I see you and I know you, I will stop and try to help you. If I don't know you, I will still do what I safely can.
Of course, common sense applies here. I'm not talking about taking strangers in your car or putting yourself in dangerous situations.

I guess I have a very non-suspicious mind.
If I saw blackbird and Diane sitting at McDonald's, I would never assume that they were starting to go down a road of illicit activity.

The more I read these threads, the more I realize there must be many people in my town that think I'm doing things I'm not.
I go to the UPS store a lot. Many times the ONLY parking space is in front of the liquor store right next door. I have never been in that store.
I guess many would assume that's where I am instead of in the UPS store. A determined person could choose to misread any number of things any of us does all day long. At SOME point, I am not responsible for other peoples' overly imaginative minds. We need to lighten up a little bit, guys!

Karen

 

[Dragoon68]

I want to elaborate a bit more on one point I made in my earlier posting of this thread: We are instructed by God's word to abstain, not only from evil, but also from the appearance of evil:

1 Thessalonians 5:22: "Abstain from all appearance of evil."

This short verse provides a very important consideration regarding our behavior. We should follow this instruction for the benefit of our Lord so that others have no reason to be critical of what we're seen doing. Of course, we can be certain someone will find fault with any thing we do or don't do. Christians are not loved by the world and people like to find fault in our conduct because that discredits, in their view, our beliefs and thereby our Lord. There will always be gossip lovers out there looking for something to talk about. We can't stop that especially when it's completely unfounded! But we should do our best by not giving them something to talk about.

 

[Ransom]

Dragoon68 said:

We are instructed by God's word to abstain, not only from evil, but also from the appearance of evil

Context matters. 1 Thess 5:22 is speaking specifically of testing supposed prophetic utterances (cf. vv. 20-21)

 

[Dragoon68]

Yes indeed, context does matter and we should view the scriptures in that manner. Therefore, consider the whole paragraph:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil."

Expanded further to the whole chapter or book it becomes even more clear that there are many different points made of which abstaining from the apperance of evil is one.

It seems a big assumption to suggest that the subject verse relates only to the previous two and does not stand along as a singular point!

 

[Ransom]

1 Thess 5:22 still follows directly on the heels of v. 20-21, and reading a little farther back doesn't change that.

 

[timothy 1769]

Romans 14:16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of: