Thank you, all of you. I'm sure I'm born again because I was filled with the Holy Spirit for one year. And God's Holy Spirit its unmistakable with all the spirits. Initially I felt only temptations from demons like normal people do(they worked in "secret"), but I was the one who spoke to them first, I told them that they tempt me in secret in vain, I know it's them, 'cause I believed in demons. From that moment they did everything openly. -Well, not everything- I got a little bit of demonstration(if it's the correct word) of their intelligence. But they "thanks" to things what they still did in secret managed to fool me and made me believe that a lot of bad things what made me suffer came from God. And they gave me enourmous suffering.-and I also had struggles distinguish good from bad, I questioned God a lot in my mind ex. that "is he really good?", "what if the devil had a reason to rebel against him?"-maybe thats why He distanced from me, maybe for forever. And somewhere in the Bible sais that who(among the Cristian people)can not distinguish good from bad will receive a spirit of delusion, that from that moment they they receive it they won't be able to distinguish the light from the darkness- but the main reason that the Holy Spirit left could be that I got to that point of suffering that I asked the him to leave and I said an unapropiate(a bit ugly) word to him. When I said it, I felt like a stamp(spiritually) had been put on my forehead and I felt God's sadness and a little bit of anger. After years from then I felt the Holy Spirit once more: I met a kind older man and I offered some coffe to him, I felt the Holy Spirit coming from him to me and I felt like somehow the Holy Spirit is reading that invisible spiritual stamp on my forehead(what I feel by the way) and left. As I said I regretted it very much, since then a lot of things happened in my life, and every doubt of mine dissapeared that God could be even a little bit bad, I want to be one of his people again, but as the circumstances appear to be, it seems to be impossible. What do you think of all of this?
And by the way I don't have any mental disease and I don't doubt it a little bit.