Child discipline during Bible studies...

[brucebaptist]

I have a 5, 6 and 7 year old and we read the Bible every nite for about 20 minutes... the 5 and 6 year olds are quite obedient. the 7 year old is a hellion. he will not obey at all. i will read the Bible to them and he is running his mouth the whole time which is very distracting. he needs to be disciplined. i have spanked him a few times. doesnt help. i have threatened loss of tv, pc, video's etc to no avail. i feel very bad to spank him more than i have. he is a great kid but listening (and obeying) is his weakness...

any of you homeschoolers or Bible teachers have any advice on how to get a 7 year old to obey during a Bible study??? thx.

 

[SBCPreacher]

Just a thought... Along with much continued prayer, instead of threatening the loss of his favorite thing, do it. Tell him that the consequences of his behavior means the loss of the tv or pc or whatever for a week.

 

[annsni]

I've found that kids are not dumb. They know if we're going to follow through or not and so if they know we won't, threatening doesn't work for them. My children were told over the weekend that if they were not ready for school on time yesterday, there would be no Webkins (they just got Webkins for Christmas from my brother) and no Wii (got some games for Christmas too). Well, they were not ready and DH blocked Webkins from the internet and I unplugged the Wii. They knew I'd do it but still didn't obey so .......

Do not let the disrespect continue. If you need to, stop the Bible reading, take your son and put him in another room (maybe put him in his bed?) and go back and continue the Bible reading with your other children. When you are finished with the Bible reading, then it is time to deal with your son. I'd address some Scriptures about obeying your parents and how important God's Word is in our lives in a gentle way. I'd ask him if he had any ideas why he was disobeying not just me but God in his behavior and then ask him how does he think he should act next time. You see, just spanking and threatening does not address the issue. He's 7 - you need to be clear, explain what is going on and then pray with him that God will help him to crave the Word and that He'll help him to behave better the next time. Now you've told him your expectation and GOD'S expectation. Additionally, tell him the punishment for not being respectful during your Bible time, whether it is no TV, a spanking or whatever. But make the punishment believable and if at all possible, tie it to the reading time. Possibly telling him that he cannot sit with you and your other children during that time and that instead, he needs to go to bed early. But whatever you do, FOLLOW THROUGH and be consistent.

The next time he misbehaves, be gentle, be firm and be quick. Do not allow the behavior to continue. Address it NOW and remove him from your presence so that it does not affect the other kids. I think he has your number because there's no consistent discipline and he totally knows he can usually get away with it. Some kids are like that. I had one who I had to NEVER EVER let my guard down. Of course now she's 17 and a wonderful young woman who learned about self-discipline and such because I taught her discipline from me. She's really a good kid even though she was a terror when she was young.

Please let us know how it goes.

 

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

Try something like Keys for Kids.

Back to using it now that grandkids are around with their mom being in hospital. We used it when our kids were young.

It combines Bible reading with a child friendly story and a key for the day, along with a memory verse.

We raised 6 and now have 4 grandkids. Twenty minutes of Bible reading seems a bit long to me. Maybe try something geared toward them and then apply the discipline suggestions.

I am a big supporter of Keys for Kids. When we do them now the grandkid's dad remembers the stories.

 

[Johnv]

Just a thought, if your kid's mouth is running, give him more passages to read during your group reading. That will give his mouth something to do.

 

[abcgrad94]

Twenty minutes is a long time for devotions at those ages. Here's what we do with our kids that works well. As my husband reads, we let the kids act out what he's reading. That way they get to participate instead of just sit and listen.

Also, long passages aren't necessary at their age. Sometimes we read a verse over and over so we all memorize it, and we make it fun. I would much rather my kids learn a verse that will stick with them through life than sit still while we read an entire chapter. If your son is a talker, this might be the best route to go with him. Let him read, too!

Try to make it fun. I would caution you against spanking your son during or after devotions, because he will associate the two and learn to hate the reading of God's word. I say this from experience. I have memories from childhood, having to sit and listen to my father read boring passages of scripture and try to "explain" it to us. It was a chore, not fun, and we had to comply or else! Please don't do this with your children. As suggested before, use Keys for Kids or another age appropriate devotional guide.

 

[Johnv]

As my husband reads, we let the kids act out what he's reading. That way they get to participate instead of just sit and listen.

Why did I not mention that? That's what I used to do when I was teaching Sunday School. Excellent idea, abc!!!

 

[abcgrad94]

Why did I not mention that? That's what I used to do when I was teaching Sunday School. Excellent idea, abc!!!

Thanks. Our kids really loved it when daddy was Goliath and "fell down" after they pretended to be David slinging a stone at him. Another night we put a blanket on the floor and they acted out being the disciples at sea when the storm came. The blanket was the "boat" and the rest of the floor was the "water." It's amazing how much they enjoy simple role playing.

 

[just-want-peace]

Annsni sez:

I've found that kids are not dumb. They know if we're going to follow through or not and so if they know we won't, threatening doesn't work for them.

I'll add a double sized AMEN to this!!!

One of my grans knows that his momma threatens & threatens & threatens ---, but rarely follows through, but when we keep them I tell them at the outset that I am going to "say whatever" only once and then something else will follow. Their daddy (our son) is better, but he tends to give a lot of leeway before clamping down - more than I believe is healthy.

Never takes over once to nip this bad behavior in the bud, cause he knows these are not idle threats.

Yep, kids learn fast; obviously a lot faster than the adults in general do!

 

[annsni]

One other thing, Bruce. Remember that your children are seeing your struggle with your wife and are responding to that. So it's not isolated to the rest of it - it's all one huge effect with the conflict between you and your wife.

 

[JMSR]

I know most of you are much more experienced than I at parenting, but growing up I got whipped. When it came time for disciplining my daughter, there was no question about what works. It worked for my parents. It works for me. The key I've found (nothing new) is consistency, and that is with any discipline. She can't get in trouble for something that maybe next time she won't. If the belt don't work get a limb.

 

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

I am a supporter of proper corporal punishment. It is biblical if used for the right offence and in a proper manner.

I would not suggest spanking a 7 year old for acting like a 7 year old, especially if our devotional time did not take his age into account.

It is too easy to drive kids away from God's word at that age. Make family Bible time fun, applicable, instructional, and reasonably timed.

Yes, you need to demand proper behaviour, but there are things that can be done to help make it work.

 

[abcgrad94]

I know most of you are much more experienced than I at parenting, but growing up I got whipped. When it came time for disciplining my daughter, there was no question about what works. It worked for my parents. It works for me. The key I've found (nothing new) is consistency, and that is with any discipline. She can't get in trouble for something that maybe next time she won't. If the belt don't work get a limb.

Depends on what you want from your child, a change of behavior or a change of heart which will lead to a change of behavior. Using corporal punishment to make a kid be quiet during devotions is defeating the whole purpose of family devotions in the first place.

Your comment "if the belt don't work get a limb" is completely uncalled for and has no business in this thread. I find it extremely offensive.

 

[JMSR]

Depends on what you want from your child, a change of behavior or a change of heart which will lead to a change of behavior. Using corporal punishment to make a kid be quiet during devotions is defeating the whole purpose of family devotions in the first place.

Your comment "if the belt don't work get a limb" is completely uncalled for and has no business in this thread. I find it extremely offensive.

I'm sorry if it offended you, and I didn't mean to imply that restlessness at the table is cause to whip a kid. I was talking about discipline in general. You would certainly start with something milder in that case. On the other hand, if it doesn't work..... The OP referred to the child in question as a "hellion". The bible says to discipline your kids, and I don't think it meant a gentle pat on the rear and a stern word. Kids that qualify as hellions need stern discipline. I needed it, and like I said it worked. And it works for me. You've got to do something to get their attention. The belt seemed to lose its effect with mine, so I got a limb. I wasn't saying that to be funny. It works it works it works. I can't say it enough. That paired with an explanation of WHY discipline is necessary and stating to them that you do it because you LOVE them. My kid knows I don't want to whip her, but I certainly will when necessary. Problem is a lot of people don't think it's necessary even when it is. Again, sorry if I offended you.

 

[annsni]

A limb is a large branch of a tree. That is abuse. Clear and simple.

 

[JMSR]

A limb is a large branch of a tree. That is abuse. Clear and simple.

Talk about jumping to conclusions. :tonofbricks: It's smaller than my pinky and nowhere close to abuse. BTW you don't know me so why would you accuse me of abusing my daughter, when all I said is I discipline her effectively. And biblically too.

Edit: I thought I might add too that my sister and I were homeschooled for 4 years, and I have the utmost respect for my parents in how they raised me.

 

[abcgrad94]

I'm sorry if it offended you, and I didn't mean to imply that restlessness at the table is cause to whip a kid. I was talking about discipline in general.

Thank you for clarifying that. This thread is not about discipline in general, or about spanking, though. It's about a dad wanting to get his kids interested in Bible reading/devotional time, and I think we need to be very careful about mixing God's word with punishment, especially with young children.

Better to treat family devotions as a fun, exciting time to learn rather than a time to show who's boss. If a child is a "hellion" there will be plenty of other times during the day for parents to teach consistent discipline.

 

[annsni]

Talk about jumping to conclusions. :tonofbricks: It's smaller than my pinky and nowhere close to abuse. BTW you don't know me so why would you accuse me of abusing my daughter, when all I said is I discipline her effectively. And biblically too.

Edit: I thought I might add too that my sister and I were homeschooled for 4 years, and I have the utmost respect for my parents in how they raised me.

You said "limb". A limb is what falls THROUGH a roof. It's what you burn in the fireplace. It's large and it causes great injury. That's not jumping to conclusions. You said "limb".

If your children do not submit to a belt, which is WAY more than I ever spanked my children with then it's not the spanking that's the issue.

 

[FriendofSpurgeon]

Twenty minutes is a long time for devotions at those ages. Here's what we do with our kids that works well. As my husband reads, we let the kids act out what he's reading. That way they get to participate instead of just sit and listen.

Also, long passages aren't necessary at their age. Sometimes we read a verse over and over so we all memorize it, and we make it fun. I would much rather my kids learn a verse that will stick with them through life than sit still while we read an entire chapter. If your son is a talker, this might be the best route to go with him. Let him read, too!

Try to make it fun. I would caution you against spanking your son during or after devotions, because he will associate the two and learn to hate the reading of God's word. I say this from experience. I have memories from childhood, having to sit and listen to my father read boring passages of scripture and try to "explain" it to us. It was a chore, not fun, and we had to comply or else! Please don't do this with your children. As suggested before, use Keys for Kids or another age appropriate devotional guide.

Great ideas there. Make it fun. Make it enjoyable. Engage them in the discussions. Twenty minutes is long for some sermons I've heard, so it's got to be long for a 5 year old. At the end of the day, you want your children to be studying the Scriptures on their own and using the Scriptures for guidance in their own lives. This will be hard to do if they are not engaged in the process early on and they think the Bible is boring. Even worse if they associate this with spankings.

 

[brucebaptist]

this has been very helpful... maybe i have been expecting a little much from them especially at their ages... i can def apply this advice and am sure that some good will come from it... thx

BB