Christian male behavior

[JasonF]

Ephesians 5:4 KJV — Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

Titus 2:2 KJV — That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

Titus 2:6 KJV — Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.


How is this to be understood? Is it saying the older we get the more serious we should get? No joking around, no non serious behavior?

Some of not all things say the jesting is only bad humor, i don't know for sure what to think.

Thank you for any help.

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

This is talking about something that used to be called "gravitas". Gravitas is a combination of patriarchal wisdom, gravity, respect and presence all rolled up into one word. Gandalf in LOTR is a great example of a representation of this. Theoden King too to a lesser extent.

When a mature Christian patriarch speaks there should be a weight that is attach to his words, and that weight is caused by the man's wisdom, experiences, Christian walk, a lifetime of Christian masculinity, experiences with fatherhood, the discipleship of a family (wife + kids), and his reputation in the community. Think of when Jacob gave his blessing, that bore much weight.

I come from an extremely tight-knit family, where entire family gatherings at Grandpa and Grandma's house occurred almost weekly. When Grandpa walked into the room you could tell. There was a level of respect each child and adult had. When Grandpa got serious and talked about something all the kids and adults would hush up and everything would be silent in the living room except for Grandpa giving advice to adults and children alike. His words in those cases were often valued as gold to the point that the adults in the family counted it a privilege to care for him as he aged, got dementia and became increasingly crippled.

The opposite is true for men who speak as fools. Dirty jokes, filthy jesting, being quick to anger and quick to speak, loose profanity, men who speak in this way do not gain authority. Respect, presence, weight-of-words, and wisdom flee from these men and this is why there is the admonishment in Ephesians and Titus to eschew this kind of speech in exchange for sober minded-ness/gravitas.

A man who has a hint of what the Bible speaks about here is one whose opinion is highly valued for advice (He sits with the men in the gate Prov. 31:23), who can remain a center of calm in the midst of an emergency, whose daughters seek his input on marriage, whose sons seek advice for a wife, who is a pillar in his community and who projects a wise, leading 'presence' in a room.

 

[JasonF]

Does it mean no humor at all or just dirty, rude, mean, type things? I act silly and have thought i had a great sense of humor, but am not sure those are things i should do anymore especially as I'm getting older, 38. If i act silly now i think i might have sinned, but Isaac sported with his wife

Sporting send like it might include not acting serious?

Genesis 26:8 KJV — And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

I don't believe it means no humor at all. God built humor into us and tells us to be joyful. I believe it means unprofitable humor, as you said, dirty, rude, etc.

I don't believe mean humor/sarcasm is excluded, so long as it's used correctly. Elijah joked about baal not listening to his follower's pleas on Mt. Carmel. Elijah said that baal couldn't hear their prayers because maybe he was napping, or was on a long journey, or perhaps baal was too busy on the toilet. Mean humor and sarcasm, just like other humor, have their time and place.

It's more of a knowing when the proper time and place is for humor IMO.

My Fire Department had a medical call last night for a man who was having a heart attack. After we got him stabilized myself and other on-scene members made a few light jokes to lighten the mood and to calm down the patient and his wife. Being able to make someone have a little grin in the middle of one of the worst nights of their life can sometimes be the most mature thing you can do. And this little bit of humor is so effective precisely because of the "gravitas" firefighters and ems are automatically given in an emergency situation like this.

A permanent, and expanded version of that gravitas (not just having gravitas in emergency situations), is what Christians should aspire to.

 

[KenH]

Sporting send like it might include not acting serious?

John Gill, in his Bible commentary says about that phrase, "laughing and joking with her, which by his motions and gestures, and the airs and freedoms he took, Abimelech could perceive were such as were not usual between brothers and sisters, though honest and lawful between man and wife; such as embracing her in his arms, and frequently kissing her, and the like."

 

[Alan Gross]

This is talking about something that used to be called "gravitas". Gravitas is a combination of patriarchal wisdom, gravity, respect and presence all rolled up into one word. Gandalf in LOTR is a great example of a representation of this. Theoden King too to a lesser extent.

When a mature Christian patriarch speaks there should be a weight that is attach to his words, and that weight is caused by the man's wisdom, experiences, Christian walk, a lifetime of Christian masculinity, experiences with fatherhood, the discipleship of a family (wife + kids), and his reputation in the community. Think of when Jacob gave his blessing, that bore much weight.

I come from an extremely tight-knit family, where entire family gatherings at Grandpa and Grandma's house occurred almost weekly. When Grandpa walked into the room you could tell. There was a level of respect each child and adult had. When Grandpa got serious and talked about something all the kids and adults would hush up and everything would be silent in the living room except for Grandpa giving advice to adults and children alike. His words in those cases were often valued as gold to the point that the adults in the family counted it a privilege to care for him as he aged, got dementia and became increasingly crippled.

The opposite is true for men who speak as fools. Dirty jokes, filthy jesting, being quick to anger and quick to speak, loose profanity, men who speak in this way do not gain authority. Respect, presence, weight-of-words, and wisdom flee from these men and this is why there is the admonishment in Ephesians and Titus to eschew this kind of speech in exchange for sober minded-ness/gravitas.

A man who has a hint of what the Bible speaks about here is one whose opinion is highly valued for advice (He sits with the men in the gate Prov. 31:23), who can remain a center of calm in the midst of an emergency, whose daughters seek his input on marriage, whose sons seek advice for a wife, who is a pillar in his community and who projects a wise, leading 'presence' in a room.

Beautiful!

 

[Alan Gross]

When the constitution of a brother attains to:

Titus 2:2 KJV — That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

then I see what we call 'jesting' as appropriate to being hospitable and having a good overall humour about them.

"Pray for me, if you know the Lord.
Don't pray for me, if you don't know the Lord. I've got enough problems."

The off color joking that is not for the purpose of good-natured comradery and to edifying to the Glory of God are eskewed.

Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking

nor jesting, which are not convenient:

filthy jesting

This foolish frivolity, just acting a fool, or jackass so to speak, is to be avoided intentionally, to give up the ROOM to be in Prayer for and with our companions.

Consider this with the religious example of 'making fun of what someone sincerely believes'. A.) it's just plain rude and B.) it is too serious a subject. If some people who are in grave error against Jesus Christ actually believe what they are taught or say they believe, there is no more serious a matter.

I don't believe it means no humor at all. God built humor into us and tells us to be joyful.[/B][/COLOR]

Amen.

 

[Salty]

When I get old - I will get more serious.
Lets see, that would be when I turn 120!

 

[Van]

Ephesians 5:4 KJV — Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

Titus 2:2 KJV — That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

Titus 2:6 KJV — Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.


How is this to be understood? Is it saying the older we get the more serious we should get? No joking around, no non serious behavior?

Some of not all things say the jesting is only bad humor, i don't know for sure what to think.

Thank you for any help.

Why not state your position, then ask if others agree or disagree and why?

I think the idea is we are to behave fittingly for the circumstance. If something happens where we should give thanks for God's grace, we should not make a joke of it.

What are other verses that address male behavior?

 

[Alan Gross]

For what this is worth, toward stepping up and reaching out,
and practically and actively actualizing these scriptures and the OP.

Ephesians 5:4 KJV — Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

Titus 2:2 KJV — That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

Titus 2:6 KJV — Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

Practical Ways to Honor Others.

from: Practical Ways to Honor Others | Monergism

Honor encompasses various aspects and actions:

1) Charitable constructions of men's actions: This involves giving others the benefit of the doubt and interpreting their actions in the best possible light. It prevents us from hastily judging others as wicked, false, or graceless based on little information. Instead, it encourages us to refrain from harsh conclusions about others and to withhold negative judgments unless we have sufficient knowledge.

2) Humility: Honor includes the virtue of humility, which moderates a person's behavior and prevents them from excessively exalting themselves over others. It involves not seeking undue recognition, status, or preferential treatment but rather willingly serving and esteeming others above oneself. Jesus exemplified this humility and taught his disciples to avoid seeking the highest positions of honor.

3) Esteem and vindication of others: Honor involves valuing and upholding the reputation and good name of others. It includes esteeming them and working to ensure that they are well-regarded by others. It entails defending and vindicating their name when they are unjustly accused or maligned.

4) Praise: Honor includes giving commendation and recognition to others for their praiseworthy actions or qualities. It involves acknowledging and affirming the good that others have done or the virtuous qualities they possess. Praise is a way of expressing honor towards others.

5) Rejoicing in another's good: Honor entails rejoicing and celebrating the successes, blessings, and achievements of others as if they were our own. It involves genuine happiness and delight in the well-being and prosperity of others.

6) Mercy and charitable communication: Honor encompasses acts of mercy, compassion, and generosity towards others. It involves extending help, support, and communication to meet the needs of others and to promote their well-being.

These aspects of honor reflect the importance of respecting, valuing, and uplifting others in our interactions and relationships. They promote unity, harmony, and mutual esteem among individuals and contribute to the overall well-being of society.

- James Durham, The Ten Commandments