Christian still in search of a church.

[Charles Perkins]

I imagine that I'm not alone. I've attended various churches from the time I was 10 years old. There was a time I wandered from God. Mostly I was not solid in what I believed in those days, I was very much argumentative in those days and I thought I knew much more than I did . I was young yet and then I was disheartened when a situation arose the church I attended heard one side of an argument and without investigating the facts or fiction. I was deserted and left to hang out in the wind.

Years later I still reached out to some I knew, but the church broke up into many pieces.

I remarried and went further astray from God. Then God allowed a great trial to wake me up. I had lots of time to get to know God, but God had to humble me first and slowly I began a process of proving all things in God's word. I asked God that he give the hunger and thirst for his word and he did. Not right away, but fairly quickly God gave me bits of understanding. It is during this time I began a bible study notebook. I read the Bible, but I also do topical and word studies as I seek answers to questions that I don't wish to assume that I know the answer to.

It has been a process of discovery now these many years. I've been home with my wife now many years as well. Married now 23 years.

At this time. I don't really have a church that I call home. I've prayed about it and put it in God's hands. I know of several that I can't agree with because they aren't scripturally sound in my humble opinion.

This place has provided something I've been missing for awhile, that is the opportunity to talk about what really matters, God's way of life.

It has surprised me over the years how few church members know what their church believes. One can go online, but I don't always trust what I find there because one can't always be sure of the source, the facts, and perhaps the differences between even groups within a denomination.

 

[AustinC]

Diedrich Bonhoeffer's book, "Life Together" might help. Especially read chapter 1 on Community.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...FjAAegQIEBAB&usg=AOvVaw0W-mvK1ckGPkacPBKV5BcF

 

[Dave G]

@Charles Perkins :

Trust the Lord to guide you, Charles.
Seek Him through His word and commit your way to Him.

He will provide brothers and sisters for fellowship and edification, not to worry.

Try not to find a church...
Ask Him to find one for you, and wait upon His timing.

 

[AustinC]

The church is any brother or sister in Christ with whom you interact. These dear family members should act as iron sharpening iron. Attempting to live this life in isolation is not biblical (Hebrews 10:24-25). The members of the body work together and keep each other healthy and accountable.
Yes, read your Bible and let God teach you, but then live in community with your brothers and sisters.

 

[Charles Perkins]

@Charles Perkins :

Trust the Lord to guide you, Charles.
Seek Him through His word and commit your way to Him.

He will provide brothers and sisters for fellowship and edification, not to worry.

Try not to find a church...
Ask Him to find one for you, and wait upon His timing.

Thanks, for the sound advice. It is the brothers and sisters that are actually the church to begin with. The building itself is not the church. Christ lives in us. I must say that I have been finding brothers and sisters here. Thanks Dave and thanks God.

 

[kathleenmariekg]

My tolerance for Christian mess is much greater now than it was. I don't need people to agree with me to be around them.

Before I knew what boundaries were, I felt very out of control around other people who were not in agreement with me, because I felt like I needed to obey and orbit whoever I was with. If they were a mess, I thought I had to obey and orbit mess.

Blind obedience was beaten into me before I have any memories. Blind obedience was my default reaction not just to authority figures, but just about anyone.

I came to believe that the scriptures about "my burdens are light" were a lie. The burdens were killing me, literally. I didn't know at the time the burdens being placed upon me were not from the father, but from the other children. Having no earthly model of a loving father, I was quick to believe that God wanted the same kind of obedience where rules and others were more important than me, my health, and even my life.

There is some mess in the church adopting secular psychiatry. But the other end of the spectrum of total denial that the human brain is an organ capable of injury is not correct either.

I see some threads started on obedience. Obedience is important, but it can also be abused. I'm talking in circles and I am setting myself up for an uncomfortable debate that I don't want. But for me, I was just missing some context that made it possible for me to be around people that were not in agreement with me. Not because I was disobedient or prideful, but the opposite.

I don't have the words, yet, to explain. I have learned that absence of vocabulary to explain myself doesn't always mean that I am not right, it can mean that I don't know the words yet.

There is a time to be a martyr, but I was being martyred for nothing. Self-neglect is poor stewardship. I'm just going to stop. I almost deleted this, and that would be best for me, but .... I'm going to leave this up for you in case anything here is of interest.

 

[Charles Perkins]

My tolerance for Christian mess is much greater now than it was. I don't need people to agree with me to be around them.

Before I knew what boundaries were, I felt very out of control around other people who were not in agreement with me, because I felt like I needed to obey and orbit whoever I was with. If they were a mess, I thought I had to obey and orbit mess.

Blind obedience was beaten into me before I have any memories. Blind obedience was my default reaction not just to authority figures, but just about anyone.

I came to believe that the scriptures about "my burdens are light" were a lie. The burdens were killing me, literally. I didn't know at the time the burdens being placed upon me were not from the father, but from the other children. Having no earthly model of a loving father, I was quick to believe that God wanted the same kind of obedience where rules and others were more important than me, my health, and even my life.

There is some mess in the church adopting secular psychiatry. But the other end of the spectrum of total denial that the human brain is an organ capable of injury is not correct either.

I see some threads started on obedience. Obedience is important, but it can also be abused. I'm talking in circles and I am setting myself up for an uncomfortable debate that I don't want. But for me, I was just missing some context that made it possible for me to be around people that were not in agreement with me. Not because I was disobedient or prideful, but the opposite.

I don't have the words, yet, to explain. I have learned that absence of vocabulary to explain myself doesn't always mean that I am not right, it can mean that I don't know the words yet.

There is a time to be a martyr, but I was being martyred for nothing. Self-neglect is poor stewardship. I'm just going to stop. I almost deleted this, and that would be best for me, but .... I'm going to leave this up for you in case anything here is of interest.

Thanks for sharing.

Here is some food for thought.
Matthew 23:11-2 whosoever shall be the greatest among you shall be your servant.
Luke 22:23-7 The disciples quarreled about who would be the greatest

God's way of leadership is in love rather than lording over another.

In this world it is not uncommon for leaders to rule over their subjects. Some through insistence of doing things their way which can be direct or behind the scenes. It is not uncommon to hear terms like playing hardball (the intention of crushing anyone that gets in your way).

None of this is what God means when he tells to be subject to him. It is shameful when we see churches or Christian leaders of any kind demand obedience. God's way of leadership is to bring us around to desire to obey him, to trust him and his leadership.

 

[kathleenmariekg]

Things got real messy there for a bit. It is just easier now, and things fall into place that didn't. Now that I understand my worth in God's eyes as context, what the other children think about my worth doesn't have the same effect. If they tell me that I am something, that does not make it true. If they tell me I must do something, that does not mean that I must do it. The other children are my siblings, and we all have the same boss; even of they are in authority over me, it is the type of authority of an older child over a younger child.

I am so incoherent about this. But this church stuff got fixed without addressing it directly. Church fell into place after other things became clearer: things that I never heard discussed when people were talking about church stuff.

 

[Charles Perkins]

Things got real messy there for a bit. It is just easier now, and things fall into place that didn't. Now that I understand my worth in God's eyes as context, what the other children think about my worth doesn't have the same effect. If they tell me that I am something, that does not make it true. If they tell me I must do something, that does not mean that I must do it. The other children are my siblings, and we all have the same boss; even of they are in authority over me, it is the type of authority of an older child over a younger child.

Amen. God knows our minds, hearts and imaginations. Men might think they do or imply that they do, but they are only human with human failings.

Sometimes Christians forget that Christian means follower of Christ. So, I like to ask myself, would Christ act or say such a thing? If not, how can it be a Christian way to act? Christ didn't stand around exercising authority over others, it was Christ's way to serve others around him. We learn a lot about the nature and character of Christ and thereby the character of the Father through Christ's actions recorded in the Gospels.

I am so incoherent about this. But this church stuff got fixed without addressing it directly. Church fell into place after other things became clearer: things that I never heard discussed when people were talking about church stuff.

It can be confusing when we come to know God and run across other that claim to know God, but act in ways that Christ himself would not have been found doing.

 

[kathleenmariekg]

It can be confusing when we come to know God and run across other that claim to know God, but act in ways that Christ himself would not have been found doing.

Especially if it something that is reinforced in the greater society and/or home as expected behavior.

I was ordered to paste overly-literal and isolated scriptures onto a messed up worldview that was not from Christ. I was expected to view myself and my worth according to secular values.

They didn't need to change; I needed to change. But I needed to change in the opposite way that they were demanding, to be able to come back and safely interact with them, as an equal in WORTH even if in a position of submission.

 

[Charles Perkins]

Especially if it something that is reinforced in the greater society and/or home as expected behavior.

I was ordered to paste overly-literal and isolated scriptures onto a messed up worldview that was not from Christ. I was expected to view myself and my worth according to secular values.

They didn't need to change; I needed to change. But I needed to change in the opposite way that they were demanding, to be able to come back and safely interact with them, as an equal in WORTH even if in a position of submission.

Thankfully we can learn and change. God through his love and his Spirit has made a way that we can be new. It doesn't happen all at once, but God in his grace provides healing, delivers us, strengthens that which is good, and brings comfort.