Through the years I have had teens and adults tell me that they did not like being referred to as "bus kids". They felt marginalized and labeled. They often said that it was hurtful to be introduced as a "bus kid", and that it was more difficult to fit in with the "popular" kids at church.
They said that they wouldn't have minded being labeled the "new kid". But the stigma attached to "bus kid" meant they would always be on the outside looking in. They mentioned that certain titles like "pastor's kid" (my children), "ministry kid"...were labels that drew favor and friendship, and it more strongly isolated them when they were introduced as the "bus kid".
Some of these teens and adults said that they left the church when they were old enough to do so as they didn't find it so accepting by anyone except the bus captain and team. They were hurt and even stumbled by the label that had been given them. My heart feels broken about this.
Recently a church member posted pictures of sweet kids and she said "these bus kids are so cute....here is a photo of the bus kid of the month...." When I kindly wrote a comment that it would be kinder and gentler if we referred to them as "student of the month, boy of the month..." The woman wrote back "we call them bus kids because that is how they come to church". This doesn't make sense because no one calls me "SUV lady". I've never heard someone call my husband "sedan adult"....
I am part of an IFB church and I understand that they have been using the label "bus kids" for decades, but why can't we change the label if it is hurtful? Even if it is only hurtful to a few why risk hurting a few? I often think of the verse in Matthew 18:6 which says : But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
They said that they wouldn't have minded being labeled the "new kid". But the stigma attached to "bus kid" meant they would always be on the outside looking in. They mentioned that certain titles like "pastor's kid" (my children), "ministry kid"...were labels that drew favor and friendship, and it more strongly isolated them when they were introduced as the "bus kid".
Some of these teens and adults said that they left the church when they were old enough to do so as they didn't find it so accepting by anyone except the bus captain and team. They were hurt and even stumbled by the label that had been given them. My heart feels broken about this.
Recently a church member posted pictures of sweet kids and she said "these bus kids are so cute....here is a photo of the bus kid of the month...." When I kindly wrote a comment that it would be kinder and gentler if we referred to them as "student of the month, boy of the month..." The woman wrote back "we call them bus kids because that is how they come to church". This doesn't make sense because no one calls me "SUV lady". I've never heard someone call my husband "sedan adult"....
I am part of an IFB church and I understand that they have been using the label "bus kids" for decades, but why can't we change the label if it is hurtful? Even if it is only hurtful to a few why risk hurting a few? I often think of the verse in Matthew 18:6 which says : But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
