This hypothetical situation is not so hypothetical. It is based on a long-time friend of mine who is living this situation.
A couple moves a few hours away from the church they were members of. The church is too far to attend, so they seek out a new church. After a few weeks visiting churches, they find a church they like and start attending faithfully. In addition to Lord's day worship, they attend Sunday school and mid-week small group. They do everything expected of members, only they are not members. In fact, they refuse to join the church. They are convinced that church membership is an artificial construct. They are members of Christ's church through the new birth. After attending the church for close to three months the pastor and elders meet with them and encouraged them to join the church. The husband gave his reasons for not joining. In response the pastor and elders told them as non-members they would be limited in the type of ministry they could be involved in (i.e. no teaching or working with children). They also could not attend or vote at members meetings.
What say you about this couple's view and the church's response?