Common Ground Coffee House #106

Waiting for the carpenter to arrive so I can go outside and feed the horses and Barry and Chris won't wake up...

Hot cuppa Good Earth Original tea here -- sweet and spicy. Anyone else know about that? I discovered it when it was served on a plane flight and love it!

At any rate, Ann, no I did not have formal PT. I did do the exercises I was told to do at home and just regular work did the rest. I still find that the strength is increasing bit by bit, so I'm really pleased about that.

FoG, although I understand what you are saying about Chris being like any other kid, yes and no. Yes, he is a full human with a personality and sin nature and likes and dislikes (which he can express VERY strongly sometimes!). But no, he is not like other kids at all. We could not even train him ('we' meaning years of teachers in different schools as well as at home) to sort two things. If he could have even done that he could have 'worked' in a handicapped workshop. Every pediatrician and now doctor we have been to has never seen anything like it -- a person that retarded in a perfectly healthy body. He's NOT 'developmentally delayed', he's developmentally stopped and even regressing! He used to know and 'ya ya' about three or four hundred songs. Now that has decreased quite a bit. He's over the top on autism -- if it is not good for sounds or food it is to be discarded, ignored, pushed away, whatever. Yesterday at the medical office he began to get violent with Barry and me when he had to sit and wait so long -- and he's very strong. On the way home in the car he was sick of the whole day so he MADE himself sick by putting his hand down his throat. His protest...

Then, of course, he was hungry again.

I was told when he was younger that I would have to accept that there would be a time when I had to place him in an institution. About the time he was seven, he started having grand mal seizures. Despite going on Tegretol, he would still seize and stop breathing. We figured one of those times he would simply never breathe again. We would be kneeling down beside him, "BREATHE, Chris! Breathe!" When he was fourteen he had the most massive seizure he had ever had, and at that point I capitulated and decided all those who had advised me were right -- Chris had to go to an institution. A social worker helped me find one, but it was in Madera, a three hour -- one way -- drive from where we lived at the time. At the same time, one of my adopted sons was in a youth facility for smashing a probation he had been on. So every Friday I would drive down to see first the son in the facility and then keep going south to Madera to spend an hour or so with Chris.

Chris would look at me and take my hand and pull me out to the van. He would look at the van and then look at me and then look at the van again. It was as good as talking: "Mom, I don't know what's going on, but isn't it time we went home?"

And I would cry for three hours driving home. In the meantime, he got eczema on his arms and legs, his ears were filthy, his hair remained uncut, and one time when I changed him there was some dried feces on his bottom.

So I figured God knew this was going to happen to him. God knew that my husband was going to walk out on us. And God still allowed Chris to be my son when we adopted him (the encephalitis occurred after the adoption; he was not this way at the beginning). I was Mom. That was that. I brought Chris home.

And home he will stay. Barry has been unbelievable, willing to take him for walks, feed him, change his diapers, clean up after all sorts of messes... I don't know if I could have continued alone.

Because Chris is different. Incredibly different. Even the doctors don't know what to tell me and will almost literally go with whatever I request.

When I was teaching, one of my students, knowing I was a Christian, said to me one day, "You know the second thing you will see in heaven?" (The first would be the Lord...), and I replied "No, Aaron, what?"

"Chris! He will come up to you and say 'YO! MOM!'"

And the Lord won't have to dry those tears then, because they will be happy tears.

 

Helen--you must be an incredible mother!

Ann--hope your hand heals soon.

I'm a little late getting to the Coffee House. We've been without heat all day so I've been busy baking to keep the oven going as well as catching up laundry. Even a little heat from the dryer helps! Almost our whole town is without gas. I bought a small electric space heater and got the kids home from school just before we got hit with more snow.

We're "camping out" in one room tonight with the space heater to stay warm. Hopefully the crews will fix the gas problem soon.

I'd post my opinion of global warming on the other thread, but my fingers are getting numb!:laugh:

 

Helen- I am so very sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any distress. I've been brought up to see everybody without man-made labels. Someone would say to me "that is the retarded boy from down the street." I would reply "No, that's Tommy the boy who lives down the street."

I completely understand when you describe Chris' lack of development, but when people make fun of,or ignore somebody who is different then we show the world how "developmentally-disabled" that we are.

You are my sister-in-Christ Helen. I don't ever want to appear insensitive, or un-caring. Please accept my humble apology.

 

Good heavens, FoG, there's no need to apologize! I totally understood what you were trying to say. And I appreciated it very much. I should have said that, so please accept my apology!

I do have a beef with political correctness, though! You should have seen the social worker here in Oregon when I simply told her that Chris was profoundly retarded. She was astonished we would use that word. But that's what he is.

abcgrad, one gets better as one goes along. I know I didn't start off with these skills or this patience! God has been working hard on me! At almost 59, one would hope I showed some improvement....LOL

In the meantime, I hope you get through this time OK. This is an incredible thing so many of you are going through. God bless you.

 

Political correctness has all but destroyed the English language. Why, in England, one can't even bake gingerbreadmen!

I think that respect is the key to the terminology one uses. If we are being abusive, political correctness does not remedy the situation.

I am not physically challenged! I am handicapped, plain and simple. Some might say I am mentally challenged, and that might be so........strokes do that to people.

Blessings on all those who understand children where they are, and not where they wish them to be.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Jim, all five adoptions were 'special' kids, one way or another. What I used to tell them was that EVERYONE is handicapped; everyone has disabilities. The ones that show are generally not nearly as bad as the ones that don't.

God bless you.

 

We finally got our gas back at 8:30 this morning. The kids and I slept under a huge mountain of quilts with the heating pad at our feet. Hubby took his chances in another room rather than risk getting kicked by kids all night long. No school again today.

Drama over. Time to fold all the quilts. . :godisgood:

 

Glad it only lasted one night, abcgrad!

Looks like rain here for the next week. That's OK, we need it. I've got the yard caught up and so I'm fully at peace with God doing the watering!

Have you ever had a dream that makes you wake up in a bad mood? I hate mornings like that, but it happened this morning. We have a son-in-law who was the victim of a drunk driver and is in a wheelchair. So when we remodeled the house (to accomodate Chris in his own suite of rooms at the other end of the house from Barry's study and library!), we made sure that everything was wheelchair accessible. That included the bathrooms. And because Barry is Australian, we have a separate toilet room from the shower part of the bathroom in the main hallway, for guests. In order to get a wheelchair into the 'water closet' (toilet room), that also had to be larger than one would expect, so we had this big blank wall on one side. I told the contractor to leave it smooth, not textured, as we would do a mural on it or something. Instead, last summer my daughter and I did a little outlining on it and a fish, seaweed, and a starfish inside and made it into our 'signature wall.' Guests love it and many have signed it with the markers we leave in that bathroom -- all in coordinated colors of course!

How many people entertain others in their bathroom? Hey, it gives you some fun stuff to read when you are in there. At any rate, it's sort of known in this house...

So my dream was that we had some guests here and they 'signed' the wall by drawing this demonic face on it and then 'art work' ALL over it. I was SO upset and, in my dream, was ordering them out of the house!

I don't order people out of my house!

But then people don't draw demonic faces on my bathroom wall, either!

It took me awhile of just quietly getting myself in order internally and talking to God to calm down when I woke up. Then I went in and looked at the bathroom wall and realized that, as fun as it is, we could paint it over if something happened and life would go on and the world would keep turning and ....

But, hey, if any of you are ever visiting, plan on signing!

Have a great day. It's shopping/errand day and Bible study tonight. The floor in the kitchen is finished and the cabinet back in place, so that's great. They will try to finish in the dining room today, and that's great, too. The main person who has been working here is an older fellow that learned carpentry as an art and he is really, really good and very fun to have around. We're quite grateful for him.

 

Good Morning Everyone!

At least it is better than yesterday! Everyone is migrainy here and Chris had some new things happen that have me a bit concerned (slurred speech, extreme tiredness), so I'm in the process of finding out what is going on. He seems fine this morning except the continuing migraine.

That and the work is piling up on me so ya'll may not be hearing from me for a few days.

Never fear though, I'll be back...............................eventually.

 

Well today changed in a hurry!

One of the big jobs of the week got canceled (or rather they found someone else who could do it) and that is fine with me! Between Chris and Cassie's migraines and the nasty way I have felt all week, I didn't really feel like hemming a wedding dress and they were in a hurry for it. You know hurrys don't work around this house. I don't know how to hurry!

Heard back from Chris' doc and gave me guidelines for when to worry about the new symptoms and told me to keep track of how often it happens. Also said it may simply be a one time thing. So I feel much better about that. Poor kid had me worried.

It's about time I went and picked up the girls and ran to Walmart, so I'll see you later!

 

Good Evening Everybody,

It has been a long and emotionally draining day.

Jim's Dads funeral was today, and it was as close to a completely secular service as I've seen in awhile. A family friend gave the eulogy, and the burial was private[ for the family only.] The luncheon was held at the family home. The family isn't saved, and have let it be known in no uncertain terms they don't believe in that "churchy" stuff. Funerals still make me sad [even after being a Funeral Director for 31 yrs.]

Went to court with my friend Doug yesterday. It was a preliminary hearing on awarding temporary custody of Doug's grandson to Doug and Wendy due to Doug's daughter's inability to provide adequete for a special needs child. To make a long story short - Nothing was accomplished yesterday and another hearing will be held in mid-March. Doug & Wendy have temporary physical custody of the child right now.

I thank God I'm not as cold and cynical as I could easily be, but the emotional toll is awful. It's all my fault too...I could never walk away from a friend, guess I'm a freak, I'm just not made that way. I do what little I can for my friends and then wonder if I could've done more.

 

If you are a freak, FoG, there should be a world-ful of freaks and everything would be so much better. God bless you.

Just got back from the vet's with Tia -- irritated ear. At least it's not another infection. So we have the stuff to keep her ears happy...

I have seven minutes before I go out to feed the horses, get the dogs fed, and make dinner. Barry is getting the Bible study ready for tonight.

I'm sleepy. I'd rather go to bed.

The days are going by so fast now. I remember when one of my kids, in the middle of that kid's teens (can't even remember which kid now) told me the years were going by awfully fast. And I remember looking at said child and thinking, "Honey, you don't know the half of it."

So fast....

 

Good morning, all!
Our street looks like a sheet of ice but there is school today, running on a 2-hour delay. If I can navigate the secondary roads, the rest of the way will be easy.

FoG-Sorry about your day. I have never underderstood how people can deal with death and funerals without the Lord in their lives. It must be hopelessly depressing for them.

Better get these kids in gear. Have a good day, everyone!

 

Good Morning Everybody,

It is 4 degrees here [ windchill -5 ], this is the first time in two weeks we've been warmer then where Sue lives. The Hot Chocolate is on me today Sue. :thumbs:

Helen: Thanks sis. God has blessed me, Just look at all the friends [including you] I have here in the Coffeehouse.

Maybe I should have had some cheese with my whine yesterday.

A very wise Woman [who used to post here in the coffeehouse] once said that I can't walk away from my friends when they need help, that I'm not made that way. As usual she was right.

I brought in Eggs, Corned Beef Hash, Bacon, and Homemade Biscuits. Enjoy.

Time to take some prescriptions in, and do my chores.