Common Law Marriage

[Judith]

Please provide all the scripture to support the idea of a couple being “properly married” with a “proper ceremony”. I’ll save you time, there is none.

Why are we even asking for proof of marriage? If they say they are married, where in scripture does it say the church must verify the marriage?

Peace to you

The Jews always held long ceremonial events for legal marriages in the site of God. In scripture if God accepted what man calls common law marriage then Jesus was wrong to tell the woman at the well (John 4:18) that she had prior 5 husbands but the one she currently has is not her husband. She had clearly went through the marriage ceremony 5 times but now was just shacked up (common law marriage) Show me scripture that God accepts what we call common law marriage.
Also, even in a common law marriage until all conditions are legally satisfied the couple is living in fornication (sin).

 

[Reynolds]

Some great discussions so far!
I dont want to get to far off OP, but to answer the question by candyjd -

When a person wants to join our church by transfer of letter - why do we want that letter?
is it to confirm they were members in good standing at their last church?

The way things are going in this day and age, maybe we should request a copy of the marriage license!

Probably a good idea.

 

[Reynolds]

Living in sin.

So is a couple that has shacked up so long the state considers it a marriage.

 

[Judith]

So is a couple that has shacked up so long the state considers it a marriage.

Yes, I agree.

 

[Salty]

What about a married homosexual couple?

Living in sin.

Judith - yes, I agree they are living in sin - but they are doing so legally.
So the full answer is - they are legally living in sin!

 

[Salty]

For further info on common-law marriage:
check out this wiki link

If you don't like Wiki - then check of one of the 81 footnotes.

 

[canadyjd]

Some great discussions so far!
I dont want to get to far off OP, but to answer the question by candyjd -

When a person wants to join our church by transfer of letter - why do we want that letter?
is it to confirm they were members in good standing at their last church?

The way things are going in this day and age, maybe we should request a copy of the marriage license!

Well, that’s a good question. I don’t have a problem with the letter as showing common faith and practice in good standing

Our church has a new members class prior to joining that goes over our beliefs.

I think these fall under Paul’s instructions of doing everything in orderly way and avoiding the wolves that sneak in.

Peace to you

 

[canadyjd]

So let me ask you a question. Common law marriages require a set of standards to be accomplished before it is legally recognized. While and until those standards are fulfilled is the couple living in fornication?

Not directed to me, but I’ll answer if you don’t mind.

No. The secular standards of government do not validate or invalidate a marriage.

Let me ask you this. If a man remains married, but is a serial cheater, the marriage remains valid in the eyes of the state unless there is a divorce.

Do we start asking potential members if they have ever been unfaithful to their spouses?

Do we ask men if them if the have looked upon another, not their spouse, and lusted, committing adultery according to Jesus?

Peace to you

 

[canadyjd]

The Jews always held long ceremonial events for legal marriages in the site of God. In scripture if God accepted what man calls common law marriage then Jesus was wrong to tell the woman at the well (John 4:18) that she had prior 5 husbands but the one she currently has is not her husband. She had clearly went through the marriage ceremony 5 times but now was just shacked up (common law marriage) Show me scripture that God accepts what we call common law marriage.
Also, even in a common law marriage until all conditions are legally satisfied the couple is living in fornication (sin).

Still no scripture commanding a “proper marriage” and a “proper ceremony”.

Adam and Eve had no ceremony. Adam “knew” his wife and they were one flesh

Repeatedly, throughout the OT, that is the standard. Issac is brought a woman, they “know” each other, they are husband and wife. No ceremony to make it “proper”

Now, obviously, the union was made known to all others so folks would know these two were husband and wife.

Over the centuries, ceremonies and celebrations developed outside of the scriptural standards.

The RCC turned marriage into a sacrament that could only be performed by a priest “the proper ceremony”. This controlled the members and insured obedience. It continues to this day.

The “common law marriage”, as long as the two have never been with anyone else, is the most reflective of the biblical standards.

Peace to you

 

[Jerome]

So let me ask you a question. Common law marriages require a set of standards to be accomplished before it is legally recognized. While and until those standards are fulfilled is the couple living in fornication?

No, if someone were ever to contest the couple's marriage in court, the judge would reject such a challenge since they were husband and wife from the moment they entered into the marriage contract, after which they lived together as husband and wife.

 

[5 point Gillinist]

Fornication

I can hear someone somewhere saying "judge not."

 

[Reynolds]

I can hear someone somewhere saying "judge not."

Most misunderstood verse in Scripture.

 

[canadyjd]

Most misunderstood verse in Scripture.

Agreed. Let’s base what we believe on scripture.

I still haven’t seen any passages where we are commanded to have “proper ceremony” to have a “proper marriage”.

I see no passages of scripture where men are given the authority by God to declare a couple “husband and wife”.

If a couple come to the church and say they are married, where is the scripture authority to deny them?

Peace to you

 

[5 point Gillinist]

Agreed. Let’s base what we believe on scripture.

I still haven’t seen any passages where we are commanded to have “proper ceremony” to have a “proper marriage”.

I see no passages of scripture where men are given the authority by God to declare a couple “husband and wife”.

If a couple come to the church and say they are married, where is the scripture authority to deny them?

Peace to you

I may be mistaken but weren't there marriage ceremonies in the NT times akin to what a marriage is now? The bride and bridegroom didn't live together before this ceremony which was considered the two being bound together. If common law marriage is acceptable what about common law divorce?

 

[Salty]

I can hear someone somewhere saying "judge not."

Great point - but so we dont hijack the OP
click here for a discussion

 

[canadyjd]

In the NT times, the Jewish folks had developed a ceremonial system for marriage: usually an endowment, a period of engagement (already considered married according to the Law… I e Joseph and Mary), a celebration party and so forth. Many were arraigned marriages where the couple didn’t know each other very well. The Man was usually somewhat older than the girl, who was most likely in her mid teens.

During the engagement period, the groom was to prepare a home for his bride. I am not sure if a Rabbi or Synagogue was involved for a “blessing” of the union.

Peace to you

 

[JesusFan]

Living in sin.

Not a valid marriage in the sight of God, so would not be honored by us

 

[Judith]

Judith - yes, I agree they are living in sin - but they are doing so legally.
So the full answer is - they are legally living in sin!

I am not sure what you mean by "they are legally living in sin!" Can you explain?

 

[Judith]

No, if someone were ever to contest the couple's marriage in court, the judge would reject such a challenge since they were husband and wife from the moment they entered into the marriage contract, after which they lived together as husband and wife.

But this is not about man's law, but rather God's. Are you suggesting that God is subject to the laws of man?

 

[Jerome]

Huh? You asked about the legal standard for establishing a husband and wife's common law marriage:

So let me ask you a question. Common law marriages require a set of standards to be accomplished before it is legally recognized. While and until those standards are fulfilled is the couple living in fornication?

I answered your question, correcting your misunderstanding of when a common law marriage begins. A judge would consider marital cohabitation following the husband and wife's contracting of their common law marriage, as further evidence that they are in fact married according to common law:

No, if someone were ever to contest the couple's marriage in court, the judge would reject such a challenge since they were husband and wife from the moment they entered into the marriage contract, after which they lived together as husband and wife.

They are married from when they contracted together, and they live together as husband and wife afterwards because they are married. They are not fornicating, they are married! You (and others) have been corrected over and over about your erroneous misunderstanding of when a common law marriage begins.