Dating services and you!

[righteousdude2]

As I watched the television last night, there were no less than five different dating services advertised during the one-hour telecast! One of the advertisements came from a so-called Christian dating service and one for farmers. Farmers? You have to be kidding! Still, it left me wondering what your thoughts, as a believer are regarding these services, and if you ever resorted to use one? And while I ask that, do you know of anyone who has, and what was their opinion of what they got for their money?

Finally, do you think that believers should, or need to resort to the use of such services, and if not, why?

Thanks for your feedback!

 

[dyanmarie25]

I don't have any complaints about dating services. It's actually a good way for you to meet new people, and find your other half. I haven't tried this one yet though. I am still pretty young and I don't think I need the help of dating services right now. I am currently dating a former classmate from high school anyway.

 

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

I think the danger here is in the anonymity. I have never visited a Christian dating site, but imagine that it would be possible to mask one's identity at the beginning which could allow a relationship to start with someone who is not who they say they are.

 

[pwarbi]

I've never visited a dating site, one because I have never needed to and secondly a lot of them don't appear to be actual dating sites. Sites to meet people and to maybe one day settle down with.

Most of them are aimed at the cheap, one night stand thrillseekers that probably already have a wife or husband already but they just got a little bored and wanted some extra attention.

 

[salzer mtn]

I think there are predators on these dating sites. I wouldn't recommend them.

 

[pwarbi]

The safety aspect is a concern as well, and I also think that there's a lot of people on those sites that are just using it as a vehicle to meet people they wouldn't necessarily have met with before, and for reasons that are strictly above board.

 

[HeDied4U]

I tried Christian Mingle for a month this past spring. Met a couple of nice ladies. Had a couple of dates but that's as far it went. Seems like CM is, imo, a quality site; others I have belonged to in the past...not so much. As was previously said in another post, the ladies I met I may not have otherwise met. Although nothing advanced beyond the dating stage, I do keep in contact with both through Facebook. I consider both as friends.

 

[InTheLight]

I know of two Christian couples that met and ended up getting married. One couple on eHarmony and one couple on Christian Mingle.

 

[Darrell C]

As I watched the television last night, there were no less than five different dating services advertised during the one-hour telecast! One of the advertisements came from a so-called Christian dating service and one for farmers. Farmers? You have to be kidding! Still, it left me wondering what your thoughts, as a believer are regarding these services, and if you ever resorted to use one? And while I ask that, do you know of anyone who has, and what was their opinion of what they got for their money?

Finally, do you think that believers should, or need to resort to the use of such services, and if not, why?

Thanks for your feedback!

Okay, just asking this for discussion's sake: what does the Bible teach us about dating?

I never used one, but instead felt the Lord would provide someone from the congregation/s I was a part of. I was once rebuked by a Sunday School teacher once when I responded to his question "When are you going to get married?" (I didn't marry until 30) with "I am just waiting for the Lord to bring the right one." He said, "Darrell, even the Lord needs a little help sometimes!" lol

Lost a lot of respect for him saying that.


God bless.

 

[InTheLight]

Okay, just asking this for discussion's sake: what does the Bible teach us about dating?

I don't know but if I were RD2, I'd ask you to start another thread.

 

[Gib]

Our former youth ministry met his future wife on a Christian dating site. He met here there, but developed their relationship in person. He thinks it was worth it.

 

[sunflogun]

I am not against dating sites even more in the society we are living in, where people are too busy to meet other people. Either cases, it can be something dangerous or, like Gib mentions, it can be the place where we can find our future wife or husband.

 

[Darrell C]

I don't know but if I were RD2, I'd ask you to start another thread.

Let me explain how this is not off-topic:

Finally, do you think that believers should, or need to resort to the use of such services, and if not, why?

This...

Okay, just asking this for discussion's sake: what does the Bible teach us about dating?

Opens the discussion as to my own views concerning this.

So tell me, ITL, what does Scripture teach us about dating?


God bless.

 

[Salty]

Often when you meet a person for the first time in person, we tend to look at only the physical aspects.
By going thur a valid dating service - you more than likely will be matched up with a person of similar values. Then the physical aspect will take the back seat -

 

[InTheLight]

So tell me, ITL, what does Scripture teach us about dating?
God bless.

I'm sure you will tell us.

 

[Darrell C]

I'm sure you will tell us.

Actually, no. As I said, it was brought up for discussion.

God bless.

 

[blessedwife318]

It would depend on what dating sites you are talking about, as each site kinda has its own niche and goal in mind. I know personally 7 or 8 couples who met their spouse on Eharmony. Eharmony is also how I met my husband so I think they can be worth it.

Now I realise there are some legitimate concerns when it comes to online dating, but that is really where common sense comes into play. The best way to prevent from being catfished is to meet the person you are talking to in real life ASAP. That was one lesson I learned early on is that you have to move it to real life quickly or problems will develop. My husband and I met in person 5 week after we were matched up, and the only reason it took that long is because he lived in another state.

Now as far as the question of if this is something Christians should do, my response is that the Bible talks about who you should marry, and in the OT we have many different ways people found their spouse, none of which are really feasible today.

 

[percho]

I thought Abraham used a dating service.

Eliezer and Company or Lazarus and Company, if you will.

 

[blessedwife318]

I thought Abraham used a dating service.

Eliezer and Company or Lazarus and Company, if you will.

My list of the ways to find a spouse from the Bible.
Hang out at a well and offer to water everyone's camels
Go to the threshing floor at night and lay at the feet of your chosen guy.
And my personal favorite win a beauty contest.

OK joking aside the Bible doesn't tell us how to find a spouse, just who we should Not marry. I think we make it more complicated then it needs to be.

 

[preachinjesus]

I never used a internet dating site while I was single. For starters they cost money that I didn't have and I didn't date much anyways.

That said, we have a significant number of singles in our ministry that move into marriage. I've done a healthy amount of weddings and premarital counseling over the years and about half of the couples I've talked with met via a dating website. These are good Christian couples who have found each other in a way that is different then what previous generations tried. Right now, in our highly fragmented society, it is hard (very hard) to be a faithful single Christian. It is also hard to find someone, even in church, who shares the same commitments and values.

I think dating sites are a fine way for singles to meet so long as they're smart.

Meet in public for the first time. Exchange appropriate, honest pictures. Use a site that costs money (scammers don't care much for cost.) If necessary, do background checks. Take time to get to know the person.

Just like anything else in this world when it comes to the Internet, be smart and expect that you'll run into some creepers.

I understand that on this board there is a mix of generations and philosophies. But we shouldn't just reject something that is new because it isn't what we've grown up with or are used to. Telling others, particularly younger believers that their options are bad because of our own limited exposure to them isn't s valid critique.