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Deacon is a Cheating, What Would You Do?

Yeshua1

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
What if you discovered that the head deacon was not only cheating on his wife, but the other person was a same gender relationship?

What would you, as the pastor or member of the church, do? And why?

the pastor and fellow Elders need to attempt to address this person in private, need to see if he will immediantly stop the relationship and go into counceling for this sin problem area, and attempt to restore him to the Lord and the church...

IF he is willing to do such, can keep it"quit", but needs to be removed from Deacon position ASAP...

IF refuses to "come clean" needs to be taken to the church at large, and he needs to be dealt with as paul did the man having relationship with stepmother!
 

nodak

Active Member
Site Supporter
I agree with those advocating handling it as per Matt. 18.

As to the voting, I believe in congregational governance.

This can be a beautiful example: the congregation, as a body, and individually, stand against this sin. He can't say the preacher tossed him out, or some board.

No, THE CHURCH exercised discipline.
 

Yeshua1

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I agree with those advocating handling it as per Matt. 18.

As to the voting, I believe in congregational governance.

This can be a beautiful example: the congregation, as a body, and individually, stand against this sin. He can't say the preacher tossed him out, or some board.

No, THE CHURCH exercised discipline.

yes, for this needs to be addressed by the pastor and elders first, then the entire church needs to come in IF unwilling to repent and change...

make sure to remember the wounded wife in this also!
 

Jerome

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
For Annsni:

Capitol Hill Baptist (9Marks/Dever) Church Constitution:

Membership may also be terminated as an act of church discipline (ordinarily, but not necessarily, at the recommendation of the elders) upon the vote of at least two-thirds of the members present at any regular or special meeting of the members.
 

salzer mtn

Well-Known Member
It appears to me in 1 Cor 5 that Paul did not have much tolerance for such a person. In the second verse Paul says the church is puffed up. This church probably didn't want the stigma on it's name due to pride. Paul also said in the second verse that this person needed to be taken away from among you. IMO Paul was of the mind that this offender was not saved at all, but by chance he was then they were instructed to deliver him to satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. By no means should this person keep the office of a deacon if guilty. Repentance has nothing to do with it. He brought a reproach on the office, his church, and the Lord. He didn't walk into this blindfolded or both hands tied, there is a price to pay. The bible is against sin of this nature and in most scripture it gives very little assurance that a person that does these things are christians at all. Some people say counsel him. Either a person is shown by the word of God and the Holy Spirit that these things are wrong or the person is dead to the things of God and has never been born again.
 
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Yeshua1

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Amen!

NONE of us are beyond being tempted and falling into sin willingly, bu t the biblical model is to repent/forsake/agreeing with God that it is wrong and sin, and be cleansed by the blood of Christ!

IF that deacon refuses to do that, he must be set aside as paul stated, treat sucha one as a tax collector, for he names jesus as lord, but acts as the world does!
 

OldRegular

Well-Known Member
OK - I've never been in a church that has church disciplined with a vote and I don't think that is the way to practice it.

If the congregation votes a person into the church then only the congregation has the right to vote a person out of the church. At least in Baptist churches. If you are a church where only the elders control membership then so be it.
 

Bronconagurski

New Member
OK - I've never been in a church that has church disciplined with a vote and I don't think that is the way to practice it.

One of the Baptist distinctives is the autonomy of the church by congregational vote. Yes, the leadership can and should recommend what should be done, but vote is what determines what action, if any, is taken.
 

annsni

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I guess maybe I've never seen it come down to the congregation's choice. In any case of discipline I've seen, the "offender" marches off all offended before it gets to the congregation. When there is sin present, often they do not wish to let go of it. It's been rare that this has happened (we've been there since '95 and I think it's happened 3x) but each time was pretty consistent. One person confronted and it was denied, more than one went and there were all sorts of deflection and excuses and then they marched out of there, not to come back. The ONLY time I've seen it get to the congregation is actually in one case where step #2 worked and the woman asked to stand in front of the church to confess to the whole church and ask their forgiveness and help for the road ahead (she was pregnant without being married). It was a holy moment, I have to say!
 

12strings

Active Member
OK - I've never been in a church that has church disciplined with a vote and I don't think that is the way to practice it.

This is suprising Ann. I think you would find that, among Baptist churches that actually carry out church discipline, this is BY FAR the predominant form of doing it. Most Baptist Churches are not elder-led, but rather Congregational led. Might not be the best, but it is the most common.
 

Yeshua1

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
This is suprising Ann. I think you would find that, among Baptist churches that actually carry out church discipline, this is BY FAR the predominant form of doing it. Most Baptist Churches are not elder-led, but rather Congregational led. Might not be the best, but it is the most common.

we have the pastors/Elders do all they can to restore such a one to fellowship with the Lord and to the local church, but if they are adament and refuse to come clean...

Will be excommunicated from the Assembly by the Elders, and announced to the congregation when its done...
 

Iconoclast

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
What if you discovered that the head deacon was not only cheating on his wife, but the other person was a same gender relationship?

What would you, as the pastor or member of the church, do? And why?

1]He would no longer be a deacon.....
8 Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

9 Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

10 And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

He has already failed to maintain conduct that is a MUST...
15 But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.

The word oughtest...is the word...MUST...as in ye MUST be born from above.

2] He has adulterated His marraige and needs to repent and forsake his sin

3] If open confession is not made he should be put outside the membership of the church.Mt18

11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?

13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
 
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