Dealing with slandering gossips in the church

[Don]

Based on this, and the other thread(s) started by this poster, that seem to indicate a particular nature...you'll forgive my suspicion, but is this guy a troll?

 

[agedman]

My goodness this one gal whom used to attend the singles group at my church is a gossip. I learned from someone yesterday that the reason I am being left out from a certain clique and their activities in the singles group is because this person does not like me. I know in the past I have felt uncomfortable around this person because of her hyper ego, and the way she drives. Once I was riding in her car and she was constantly texting, or doing something on her phone while diving making the conditions unsafe. I said something, and she got ticked. Then sometime later send her an article on text messaging while driving, and then she really got ticked and booted me from her FB friends.

Her gossip about me and not including me in activities is what we call division! I regret trying to help some people in that clique was a big mistake. This one guy whom I drove back to his house several times, not once offered me any gas money or anything. I think I wasted my time trying to help them and I wont repeat that mistake. Her hyper ego is not good. She always thinks she is better, etc.. Causing division in the body is not good. However due to her personality, and wealth she can get away with doing these things. Its really too bad but its what you get with the body of Christ when dealing with immature people.


John

John,

Have you ever heard what Christ said?

"Pray for them which despitefully use you," is not an opinion.

You will meet many who while pretending to be your friend will use you, deposit all manner of evil upon you, and even falsely accuse you.

No believer has lived long for Christ who does not face and live with the disillusionment that all who name the name of Christ are not "like me."

What should you do?

You are Not run to others, not run off at the mouth, not be critical and expecting others to live to your standards.

You are to pray for them.

You are to pray for your attitude toward them.

You are to pray to be so submitted to Christ that the grace of God manifests itself in your living.

You are to pray that you may demonstrate living "peaceably with all."

You are to pray.

You are to "grin and bear it" because it is one of the hallmarks of the believer's maturity.

You are to pray.

You are to pray in thankfulness to God for what you are and who He is making you to be.

You are to pray.

Rather than speak out, pray.

Rather than confront, pray.

Rather than contend for the flesh, pray.

Rather than be disturbed in spirit, pray.

You are to pray.

For until you have prayed this and all other matters through until you have direct filling and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, you must pray.

There is no fight to be planned, no battle to be won, no victory to be had outside of first praying this (and all matters you are in conflict over) through.

This kind of prayer needs time not minutes but hours, days even weeks, alone and without interruption.

This prayer is for personal cleansing and subjection of all things the believer would hold a dear as gifts to the Lord.

The prayer is extremely humbling and no self justification can be found, no self righteousness, no self importance, no self.

Very few believers have ever prayed through. Most don't bother, lack the courage, or exist in their own strength.

It is important that one remember than the "groaning" spoken often in the Scriptures is NOT some charismatic gibberish. But total sincerity and honest pleading for wisdom and the leading of the Holy Spirit in all matters that leads to serenity of abiding in Him.

 

[preacher4truth]

Based on this, and the other thread(s) started by this poster, that seem to indicate a particular nature...you'll forgive my suspicion, but is this guy a troll?

Don,

He's not a troll bro. He just needs to take a step back and see that it is him. It won't be easy, and it will be hard to admit. If he does this, he'll change and we'll see it. He needs our prayers.

- Peace

 

[preacher4truth]

John,

Have you ever heard what Christ said?

"Pray for them which despitefully use you," is not an opinion.

You will meet many who while pretending to be your friend will use you, deposit all manner of evil upon you, and even falsely accuse you.

No believer has lived long for Christ who does not face and live with the disillusionment that all who name the name of Christ are not "like me."

What should you do?

You are Not run to others, not run off at the mouth, not be critical and expecting others to live to your standards.

You are to pray for them.

You are to pray for your attitude toward them.

You are to pray to be so submitted to Christ that the grace of God manifests itself in your living.

You are to pray that you may demonstrate living "peaceably with all."

You are to pray.

You are to "grin and bear it" because it is one of the hallmarks of the believer's maturity.

You are to pray.

You are to pray in thankfulness to God for what you are and who He is making you to be.

You are to pray.

Rather than speak out, pray.

Rather than confront, pray.

Rather than contend for the flesh, pray.

Rather than be disturbed in spirit, pray.

You are to pray.

For until you have prayed this and all other matters through until you have direct filling and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, you must pray.

There is no fight to be planned, no battle to be won, no victory to be had outside of first praying this (and all matters you are in conflict over) through.

This kind of prayer needs time not minutes but hours, days even weeks, alone and without interruption.

This prayer is for personal cleansing and subjection of all things the believer would hold a dear as gifts to the Lord.

The prayer is extremely humbling and no self justification can be found, no self righteousness, no self importance, no self.

Very few believers have ever prayed through. Most don't bother, lack the courage, or exist in their own strength.

It is important that one remember than the "groaning" spoken often in the Scriptures is NOT some charismatic gibberish. But total sincerity and honest pleading for wisdom and the leading of the Holy Spirit in all matters that leads to serenity of abiding in Him.

"For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;" 1 Peter 2:20-23

 

[DaChaser1]

My goodness this one gal whom used to attend the singles group at my church is a gossip. I learned from someone yesterday that the reason I am being left out from a certain clique and their activities in the singles group is because this person does not like me. I know in the past I have felt uncomfortable around this person because of her hyper ego, and the way she drives. Once I was riding in her car and she was constantly texting, or doing something on her phone while diving making the conditions unsafe. I said something, and she got ticked. Then sometime later send her an article on text messaging while driving, and then she really got ticked and booted me from her FB friends.

Her gossip about me and not including me in activities is what we call division! I regret trying to help some people in that clique was a big mistake. This one guy whom I drove back to his house several times, not once offered me any gas money or anything. I think I wasted my time trying to help them and I wont repeat that mistake. Her hyper ego is not good. She always thinks she is better, etc.. Causing division in the body is not good. However due to her personality, and wealth she can get away with doing these things. Its really too bad but its what you get with the body of Christ when dealing with immature people.


John

what I have heard is that prayers meetings can become "Gossip fests", as the person asking for prayers tends to 'add in' enough additional information to cause it to move into the realm of the Gossip!

when we have an official "welcome new member" to my church, its down public before entire Church, and the pastor tells them and all of us that we have the responsibility to tell one gossiping to "stop it" in order to NOT have division in the ranks!

 

[gb93433]

We are to confront the person with gentleness in private first.

 

[mandym]

evangelist6589,

Brother, I see a recurring theme here with you. This is meant and is in love. You have mentioned several incidents where some have become offended at you, and not just in this thread, you have mentioned it in others.

Some may have the "gift" of offending people perhaps. It's nothing to be proud of, and some are quite proud of this "gift."

To your story; Was it wrong for you to tell her to pay attention to the road, or asking her to stop doing whatever she was doing causing danger? Not at all. It's all in how one says it.

As you admit, things didn't go too well when you did, and this isn't the first time you've had some trouble in the area of "telling people" something, and had it have some repercussions. But then you send her another form of media, pushing the issue, which ended any hope for a healthy relationship in the immediate future. I don't believe that is wise brother. There is no reason to prove you're right, in doing this you've alienated someone.

Brother, having dealt with such types, as you, not her, please consider that it is not because you are a fortress of truth and because of your being "able to tell people the truth!" that the fault lies with them. Such an attitude is prideful and imprudent. Some preachers and Christians don't think they've "done their job" until someone is offended by the "truth" that they preach. Some even go out wanting to offend someone, and plan to do so.

At one point early in our ministry, we had a nice couple with some children who desired to lead our youth group in Bible study. As I went to visit these folks in their home, let me just say that the conditions they lived in would not allow them to be any type of leader. It wasn't the home value, size, quality, it was the conditions in the home. Now, I could have preached to them and "told them the truth!" but I didn't do that. Actually heartbroken and not wanting to tell them, I went to my former pastor and asked what I should do. "Pray that they come to their own conclusions that they aren't ready brother." I did. They called and said they just weren't ready, and I thanked them and told them I loved them, NEVER mentioning they need to fix things, or even bringing it up. Why? Because they know brother! Now, some "others" would have preached to them and offended them, alienated them, and ended any opportunity for a relationship and ministry.

Now to the point she won't include you? Who cares if she doesn't want to include you in activities. Brother, this reminds me of a Jr. High mentality "she won't include me in activities!" What about your part? Have you asked yourself why people/a person may not want you around, and what it is in your behavior that may cause people to feel this way?

By the way, in your OP you made it sound as if this situation is current. Later on in the thread you say she isn't even in the church anymore! So, if that is the case, then why are you bringing it up now as if it is?

Now you move to another issue; A person you gave a ride to. He never offered you a dime. OK? When you took him and offered to give him a ride, or whether you simply agreed to do so when asked, however the situtation came up, don't you think you should've done it unto the Lord, not expecting a thing in return? Isn't that a Biblical principle? We then do things, and if we don't get something back for it, it's wasting our time? I think you know better than that brother.

Again, I say all of this in love for a brother and pray that you may grow here. Brother it's you, not them.

- Peace

This is a very good and godly response which is direct contrast to asking him if he has a mental problem.

 

[DaChaser1]

We are to confront the person with gentleness in private first.

Agreed, its just usually that Gossips in church like the school bulley...

many times ONLY way to get their attention and have them back off is through a "show of force", in this case, getting "in their face"