Divorce and Remarriage: the real issue.

The purpose of Church discipline is to restore the fellowship of the wayward member. Part of membership is (or should be) the partaking of the Lord's Supper with like-minded believers. To deny membership to a repentent former member would be to deny them the opportunity to obey their Lord by participating in the Lord's Supper.

I understand your desire to keep the church from the world. With respect to you and your position here (and I do respect your understanding of this particular scripture), I think you are taking it too far. If a person is repentent before God and the church, we must exhibit the perfect patience of Christ and welcome them home.

peace to youraying:

 

So I have to wait until my ex...who had an affair...dies before I can remarry and be alright in the eyes of God?

 

NO! Please ready my post on page two of this thread.

 

Thank you for this.

 

Okay, this much I follow, and I agree with you 100% that these people still need to be rebuked, and probably not allowed back as members of the church. Why? Because at this particular point they are still trying to justify what they did was permissible.

What I'm saying - and maybe this is our sticking point, or maybe you agree and I don't know it - is that if these people repent of what they did, they should be welcomed back into fellowship (and membership).

Suppose the woman (just as an example) honestly says, "I never should have divorced my husband. It was wrong. I made all the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons and I have damaged many lives as a result, including my own. I can't undo all of the damage now, and I cannot justify what I did in any way. I beg God's forgiveness and yours." I think in that case you should bring her back into fellowship (and membership, of course). Then, there is the problem of her new husband's repentance. If he repents also, he should be brought back in.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That doesn't say He make a way to undo the damage of our sins, and sometimes that's simply impossible. But He forgives us, and cleanses us. That is enough to bring someone back into fellowship.

 

That's what Scripture says. Nowhere that I can find does God dissolve a marriage by any other means other than death. Punishment for adultery in the OT was much harsher as Helen pointed out, so it wasn't much of an issue, but seeings that adulterers are not put to death then one must reconcile with their spouse or remain separated and single as far as I can tell in Scripture.

The Matthew 5 passage is speaking of the Jewish engagement period, where a divorcement was allowed during the betrothal period for acts of fornication, but after the actual marriage it is until death parts us.

 

That's not what scripture says. The only place it comes close to saying this is in Romans, and Paul is quoting a law (for the sake of those who were familiar with the law) to illustrate that death releases us from bondage. His illustration was that we are dead to the law and alive to Christ. That alone should tell you that he wasn't teaching that we should continue to obey the law he was using as part of his illustration.

 

In Matthew 5:32 Jesus gives us just grounds for divorce. But, Jesus never said that one must divorce an adultrous spouse.

Instead, scripture gives an example of forgiveness if the offender is repentant-John 8:1-11.

I believe, even in the case of fornication, that, as Christians, if something arises in marriage we should not be the one to start the divorce proceedings. In the case of both the husband and the wife are Christians, neither should be the instigator, therefore forgiveness and restoration are the only alernatives.

 

Seems to me that Helen's case fits Matt:, because her husband comitted fornication against her. Her testimony does not give all cases the right to marry again unless I am misreading what Helen wrote. I see Helen told Madfingerpainter it was ok for her to marry again so maybe Helen knows her case. I didn't see where she posted it. Sorry, I missed the part where he had an affair Madfingerpainter so if that is so according to the words of Jesus you would be free. At least that is the way our church works, and that is the way I work when it comes to baptizing someone.

I would say that every case stands on its own merit. The ground is polluted but if a person wants to stay married it probably is better. Jesus just gave a reason if a person wanted to put their spouse away.

 

Very odd analysis indeed, that murder, the taking of a human life, is a forgiveable sin or less sin than divorce and remarriage. I suppose that includes abortion. As far as your quote about the marriage being intact in the eyes of God until one of the spouses is dead, that is your opinion, not Scripture.

 

I realize we are fallen and sin. But divorce involves more than the married couple; it involves children (if there are any) and the families of the couple. Children are incredibly wounded by divorce.

I guess I would say, where is the repenting? If someone truly repents their divorce and they have not remarried, then I would think they would not remarry if the divorced spouse is still alive and has not remarried, because a truly repentant divorcee would want reconciliation and would pray for that. But I don't see that happening much.

 

Im not arguing with you but for conversation sake you say that nothing is new under the sun like the bilbe says what about in the Old Testament were they have more than one wife like
Gen 4:19 And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.
Gen 6:2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
Not a wife but wives
Gen 31:17 Then Jacob rose up, and set his sons and his wives upon camels;
2Sa 5:13 And David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.
1Ki 11:3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

I see you can just keep adding wives however you just never divorce one and it all makes sense.

 

WoW! I didn't know all of this where we could just keep adding wives. Wait until I tell my wife of 45 years.

 

PinoyBaptist

I believe "marriage" occurs whenever a man has relations with a woman. There was no "ceremony" in the church when Adam took Eve for his wife. They had relations, they were married. Therefore, if a person has relations before he is "married" in the church, he is an adulterer if he "marries" anyone else but that woman.

One man, one woman, joined together for life. That is the model. That is what God ordained. The two have never had sexual intercourse with anyone else, and never will as long as they both shall live. Should one die, the other may remarry either to someone who had never had sexual intercourse, or to someone who had also been a faithful spouse and had become a widow(er). This is the bilbical standard for marriage.

This is supported, I believe, by Gen. 2, and Jesus' comment to the woman at the well (John 4) and Paul's discussion of joining with a harlot (I Cor 6).

How many Christians can meet this biblical standard? Very few, if any.

There must be a place for forgiveness. There must be a place for God separating us from our sins as far as the east is from the west. There must be a place for newness of life. There must be a place for "from this point forward, I will obey my God", and then strive with every once of strength to make it so.

Of course God would rather have people demonstrate a commitment to His ordained plan for marriage from the very beginning. But we are all sinners. God meets us where we are. He has saved us and forgiven us.

Jesus gave us specific instructions for restoring fellowship to repentent believers. I don't believe He made an exception for those who divorce and remarry. If you can show me where Jesus or anyone else said, "never fellowship with someone who divorces and remarries, even if they are repentent before God and the Church", then I will change my mind.

If I am in error, then I will error on the side of Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness.

peace to youraying: