Divorce Information

Saved4Life, I think you've been given some very good advice in this thread. As far as the drunk driving goes, I tend to have a very hard time with anyone that is out driving while under the influence of alcohol. I've lost two relatives because they were hit head on by drunk drivers, both of the drunk drives walked away, not even a scratch on them. My cousin was killed instantly, she was wearing a seat belt, a totally different accident took my aunt, she two was wearing her seat belt. And I've never known a drunk driver that didn't believe they drove just as well if not better when they have been drinking, and I've known many.
GrannyGumbo, my mother was also beaten by her alcoholic father many, many times. He two told her he was sorry, but he never quit drinking until the day he died. My grandmother also stayed with him, and many times when I was a child, I remember the police calling my parents about my grandfather. Even once because he had a gun on my grandmother and they needed help in getting him to surrendering. My mother loved her father, but never had respect for him and still does not.
I too left my husband of ten years because of his drinking, drugs, adultery. I really had no idea at that time what that marriage was doing to my one and only son, not until years later after I had remarried a good Christian man that helped me to raise and support my son. I was scared I was giving up too early on this marriage, and probably stayed longer than I should have. My son is now 23 and his father still has not changed. He was just recently arrested on drug charges and drunk driving, he has been divorced twice since we were divorced, he has never paid any child support. My son loves his father, as I have taught him to, but he does not RESPECT him. He even admitted that he could not buy him a father's day card because any card he would've bought would mean he would be lying. But every year he never forgets his stepfather, last year he bought him a new gas grill this year a new rod and reel. The words I LOVE YOU mean nothing unless they are followed by acts of love, even God loved us so much, He gave His only Son, my first husband never did and still does not, show acts of love toward his own son. His stepfather on the other hand, feels blessed by God because He gave him an extra son to love and care for. God has blessed our family many times over, this 23 year old son, has never drank, never used drugs, attends/serves in his home church and the church he attends while at college, and he is still a virgin and he has thanked me many times for leaving his father and remarrying his now stepfather because children need and want, a solid, stable and loving home. And that's what he had, after my divorce. I still pray for my first husband, his actions still hurt my son, I'm sure they always will.
Sue

 

saved4life,
I sent you a private message. Just wanted to let you know I understand the divorce struggle. Ive been through the abuse with my husband.Most people will tell you how wrong divorce is and how God hates it but they donj't ever say how God hates violence and mistreatment of his children.Ihave been in such turmoil over my marriage. My oldest so who is 9 has been traumatized by all this. Its been really hard. We have been separarated for 4 years now and he still hasn't changed. I just have to be faithful to the Lord. and not focus on my husband anymore.I know the Lord want us to protect ourselves and our children.My prayers are with you.
SOUL 4Christ

 

I can relate somewhat to you SAVED4LIFE. I have lived with the horrible aspects that have come along with drinking all my life. My father was a drunk (although he recently got saved and no longer drinks-thank the Lord!!) and I married a drunk. I have struggled through countless arguements and fights, financial problems , 2 DUI's and my husband losing his driver's license(and serving jail time for driving without a license) all due to the affects of alcohol. In November of 2000 I had enough. I packed up my things and with my 3 children, went to stay with my parents. Within a week, I had my own place and was "happy". My husband and I tried several times to work things out, but I still wasn't happy. I went to a lawyer and filed for a divorce. I started going back to church (had been away for a while). Then I realized that I couldn't do this alone(divorce).I invited my husband to come to church with me a few times-and he actually came. He is not saved yet, but something in him has changed.
After being separated for a year and a half, me and the kids moved back in with him. It took a while to me to trust him (and still is), but I have God on my side. Things have gotten so much better now. He still drinks, but not as much. He will still go to church occasionally. But I think that everytime he goes, he feels God's presence and it scares him. He has even told me that he felt that he should go forward during the invitation at church but cannot force himself to do it . I know that God is working in his heart. It is my job to "help" along the way. I know now why I couldn't go through with the divorce(I had every intention to)-God had a difrent plan for my life than I did.Things get better every day. I have to put my faith in Him and pray. If God can make a dramatic change in my father, he definitely can in my husband too.