Divorced in Church Roles

I love to read The Book/ The Bible!

I key in on the decisive passages when approaching these discussions. It prevents confusing interpretations of other passages which may present only a "vague understanding".

The "key" to marriage is trust. Trust broken requires forgiveness to maintain a future for trust.

Divorce is an act of revenge for broken trust and the issue of a hardheart.

Need there be anything else said about divorce?

In the area of a divorced person serving in any area other than deacon or preacher there are no dismissing factors, but the two positions of preacher and deacon require one not to be hardhearted as to not take sides with an offending party, but to remain objective and only on the Lord's side!

Ask Joshua
Jos 5:13¶And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand: and Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, [Art] thou for us, or for our adversaries?
Jos 5:14And he said, Nay; but [as] captain of the host of the LORD am I now come. And Joshua fell on his face to the earth, and did worship, and said unto him, What saith my lord unto his servant?
Jos 5:15And the captain of the LORD'S host said unto Joshua, Loose thy shoe from off thy foot; for the place whereon thou standest [is] holy. And Joshua did so.

 

Actually, I would say not all are disqualified because of divorce.

My first wife divorced me, not because of wrongs I had done, but becuase she had an affair and decided she wanted another man.

I tried to reconcile (for 10 years) but she would have none of that. The hard-heartedness was on her behalf, not mine.

Jesus did say divorce was allowed in the case of fornication. Paul continued with terms and listed the desire to leave the husband.

No, not all divorces disqualify one from pastoring a Church.

 

The problem with this is "the decision process" is unethical. It is also sin. Imo, this is why the Lord requires him to be blameless.
This is a portion of my former post in this thread-

"A couples private sex life needs to remain just that, private. Examining a candidate, imo, is causing them to sin by forcing them to disclose "their version" of what happened regarding their past divorce. Imo, it's a sin to listen to this highly personal information describing acts taking place between two consenting adults. Maybe he withheld himself from her, etc...does everyone really need to know this?

Tale-bearing, gossip, backbiting, babbling, mischevious tongue is sin so repeating information pertaining to the private sex acts in a marriage is sin. It could also cause problems between the parties if they remain friends to this day.


Proverbs 16:28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

Proverbs 17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Proverbs 11:9 An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.


Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Psalms 15:3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.

Proverbs 25:18 A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.

Ecclesiastes 10:13 The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness.

Exodus 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.


It is unfair to a person to have to wonder for the rest of their life if their ex husband is gossiping about them at each and every job interview.

Slander is wrong"

 

I have not slandered my ex. I have only spoken the truth.

Speaking the truth in love...

 

??? What? I didn't say you slandered anyone.
Please re-read it. My post was was cut and pasted from my earlier post in this thread. It was not written to you.

I questioned the decision making process. Like I said, that was cut and paste from my earlier post in a thread. Humans are infallible, their version of a story is not "the truth" God is the only truth. It is inevitably slanted to their own biases and experiences.
Let the ex- wives move on with their lives, truly allow them to be free. Maybe some have came to the Lord since then.

I don't care whether a couple participated in orgies, vacationed at nudist camps, etc...that portion of life is gone and done with.

Placing someone in the "hot seat", pressuring them to divulge private details of their sex life with a former ex, amongst a group of other men, is kinky

 

My condolences, but exactly the point.

You made the effort for reconciling, but she refused. That leaves you doubly the one who would be subject to take sides in a similar case. One who had not ever been divorced in the exact same situation would know what it took to remain married/ God's institution stil being intact.

There you've made the point again. You actually made the accusation against her person being the hardhearted one. You cannot help but be subjective due to the circumstance wnd would be considered disqualified in this area of reconciliation, sorry.

Fornication is not adultery and this case only applies to the betrothal and not the actual marriage.

look further into the passage to which you refer and you'll undoubtedly see what Paul said to the contrary.

All divorces are subject to the negative aspect to cause the divorced to be subjective. Although a divorcee can be of help to others, their best advice would usually be to forgive and remain married as to avoid certain problems later. This would do nothing less than bring honour and glory to God in His institution of holy matrimony remaining as from His initiative from the begininng.

Remember, from the begininng, divorce was not so.

Since God forgives all sin, so we should endeavor to do the same. Divorce is an act against the institution of God, therefore it is sin as the direct result of sin.

 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha............... ha ha.

 

Sorry if I took it wrong, Joe. Please forgive me if I offended.

I just saw the last of the post that said 'Slander is wrong', and wanted to clarify that I did not slander my ex in what I said.

 

I cry FOUL!!!

You have made several references to the ungodly practices. That best fits the definition of "kinky".

STinChrist shared his experience with Brethren, y'know, those who are dedicated to edifying one another speaking the truth in love!

My experience in his particualr case is to the contrary and according to the adverse in that the marriages are still intact due to both spouses realizing to forgive and continue in marriage.

I sympathize with STin Christ. I have expressed my condolences to my brother. I am not beguiling in my remarks.raying:

 

Salamander,

I had no say-so in the divorce. After her affair, she went and had separation papers drawn up and they were served along with an order for me to stay away for 6 months. After 6 months, I went back to try to work things out. She would have none of that and had her father chase me off of her property. It was within days that I received the notice of divorce filings.

Even after the divorce, I continued to try to reconcile for several years to no avail.

The divorce was not my fault. I had done nothing.

The divorce did not disqualify me from pastoring for the 8 years I pastored.

 

Mocking at sin is SIN.

 

I will have to say your choice of a wife has disqualified you. I know that is hard, my brother, but that is exactly the case, though the divorce was no fault of your own.

An examination of this exchange reveals the scripture in that a careful choice in a wife is of the utmost importance in her character and integrity. The passage where a man finds no favour in his betrothed is signified by his allowancewof putting her away before the marriage. Else he is then subject to the outcome, no matter the fault.

Notice I will say that you have undoubtedly been a tremendous help to the congregation, and most likely a better help to have led them into godliness than alot of pastors today.

 

Salamander,

My ex and I had a good relationship for 2 and a half years prior to the separation and ultimate divorce. There was no indication of deceit at all.

It all started when she felt I needed to return to the School for the Blind to learn a trade. (or was it an excuse?)

I had been working regularly and bringing in money beside my monthly disability check.

Upon her insistence, I went back to the School only to get a call a few weeks later by a neighbor who informed me a car was staying at our house late night.

I went home on weekends as the school was closed.

One week, I went home one night earlier than normal... only because another student's parents picked him up and offered to take me home as well.

Imagine my surprise walking in on them that night and surprising the two of them where the two of them (someone she met at her college campus) should never have been.

It was two weeks later she filed for the separation and the divorce.

 

You have mistaken

Adultery is ungodly. To share the intimate details of our sex lives with strangers during a job interview is ungodly & kinky.

I don't know if you are Brethren. This is a message board. I know "narrow is the road which leads to life".... I have not read enough of your posts to form any opinion.
Sharing highly intimate details of his former sex life with an ex on a message board where his face is clearly recognizable is wrong, imo. This disparaging info could hurt her if she is reading these posts. OR her boss is reading them. There are many scinereos. This is not to point fingers, my own sin continues each day, but to give reasons why I feel the decision process is wrong (sinful).

I never said you were beguiling in your remarks. Never thought of you when typing my post. Especially the one I cut and paste back to SFIC. But it still stands, Adultery is kinky (gross sin) and so is mulling over the details with strangers. More gross sin being re-hashed which causes others to sin by being a partaker of it.

Both parties have sinned in any divorce, there are no innocent parties.

 

If my ex reads these posts, it will mean a miracle has taken place and God should be praised for it.

My ex is totally blind due to a self-inflicted gunshot wound to her right temple in which both her optical nerve and her olfactory nerve were severed.

Doc's say it is irrepairable.

 

Mocking at sin? I bolded the part about not opening a can of worms..... and then responded with ha ha ha ha? What is mocking about that? He DID open a can of worms. Falsely accusing a brother in Christ is SIN............ brother.

 

Hope you or someone else can lead her to the Lord. Sorry for what you had to endure.

 

Still got that log in your eye?

 

OK, Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Good attempt to slide out of that one!

You mocked the discussion again by insinuating it is a can of worms, Brother.

That is not a false accusation. The previous post and the quotations prove otherwise, Brother.