Divorced pastor may want to get re-married

[Salty]

On antoher thread - which is "Divorced Pastor acceptable" a pastor stated that
he may want to get re-married. For those of you who beleived that a pastor should not
be divorced - let alone get re-married - this thread is your opportunity to discuss the
issue:

So here is the original post from LABaptist

I'd be interested in some advice on this. I am 41 and divorced and am pastoring my first church. I would like to get remarried and based on Deut 24 don't believe I could remarry my ex (she's remarried and divorced from her 2nd husband). Other than the obvious of no sex before marriage, what type of dating rules should a single pastor have to avoid any controversy.

Open for discussion

 

[Reynolds]

On antoher thread - which is "Divorced Pastor acceptable" a pastor stated that
he may want to get re-married. For those of you who beleived that a pastor should not
be divorced - let alone get re-married - this thread is your opportunity to discuss the
issue:

So here is the original post from LABaptist

Open for discussion

I will give the easy answer an old deacon told me years ago. "Our pastor has as his duties marriage counseling. Not being able to keep his own marriage intact disqualifies him for that role, thus he can't fulfil the required duties of the job."

 

[Salty]

I will give the easy answer an old deacon told me years ago. "Our pastor has as his duties marriage counseling. Not being able to keep his own marriage intact disqualifies him for that role, thus he can't fulfil the required duties of the job."

So you are saying that if a man was an alcoholic -(but never divorced) got saved - and straighten up his life, he could not counsel those who currently have a drinking problem?

 

[Reynolds]

So you are saying that if a man was an alcoholic -(but never divorced) got saved - and straighten up his life, he could not counsel those who currently have a drinking problem?

Apples and potatoes. The alcoholic quit drinking. The pastor would have to reconcile with his wife for the comparison to be valid.

 

[Dayle]

If the divorce is not according to Scripture and he remarries, he will have two wives and will disqualify himself for the office of pastor.

 

[SovereignGrace]

On antoher thread - which is "Divorced Pastor acceptable" a pastor stated that
he may want to get re-married. For those of you who beleived that a pastor should not
be divorced - let alone get re-married - this thread is your opportunity to discuss the
issue:

So here is the original post from LABaptist

Open for discussion

Well, if she left him then he has a right to remarry. If he tried to keep her against her will, that’s kidnapping and that’s a felony. This needs to be done on a case-by-case basis, as divorces happen for various reasons.

If he was lost when they divorced and was saved later, I see no problem with him remarrying and remaining pastor.

If she left him after he was saved, he can remarry(only in the Lord) and still remain pastor.

If he left her, regardless he remarried, that would nullify his pastorship. I mean if he left her for another person, even if he ends up ending that relationship after the divorce became final.

 

[Wesley Briggman]

Why invoke Deut 24?

 

[The Biblicist]

On antoher thread - which is "Divorced Pastor acceptable" a pastor stated that
he may want to get re-married. For those of you who beleived that a pastor should not
be divorced - let alone get re-married - this thread is your opportunity to discuss the
issue:

So here is the original post from LABaptist

Open for discussion

Why have qualifications for the person to fill the office of Pastor anyway? There is one overarching reason given in scripture - TO BE AN EXAMPLE for others to follow. What kind of marriage example do you want your children at church to look at to be their example of marriage to pattern themselves after? Well, the supreme example given to us is Christ and His church as a metaphorical marriage. Where is divorce and/or remarriage in that supreme example?

Is divorce what you want your children or others as a pattern to follow?

 

[Salty]

Is divorce what you want your children or others as a pattern to follow?

Right after a divorce is not a good time for a man to become a pastor.

After a period of time - the Lord can use such a man who has committed the "unpardonable sin"
in fact, such a man is in a better position to counsel a couple who are considering divorce.

Would you want your children to have Nicki Cruz as a pattern to follow.
If you dont remember, Nicki could smash a coke bottle in his hands and then
rub it in your face.

Would you say that Charles Stanley has been a good example to follow since his wife
had divorced him?

I Timothy 3:2 --- Blameless - does that mean must be perfect? at what point should he resign as pastor?
sober -(sound mind) does that mean a pastor with Alzheimer's must resign - and at what point?
vs 3 - not given to wine - does that mean - total abstinence or just if a pastor gets drunk?
vs 5 - having his children in subjection - does that mean perfect kids, or how misbehaved are they allowed to be.
Does this include when they become adults?
Vs 6 Not a novice --(granted - the time might be different for different individuals)
Is a three year ThG sufficient - or should he have a BA, then a 3 year seminary degree?
Or is it acceptable for a man in Appalachia who quit school in the 8th grade to work in coal minds -and then 5 years later (without any additional schooling) to become the pastor in the mountains of West Virginia?

 

[The Biblicist]

Right after a divorce is not a good time for a man to become a pastor.

Nor any time thereafter as he no longer fits the example.

After a period of time - the Lord can use such a man who has committed the "unpardonable sin"
in fact, such a man is in a better position to counsel a couple who are considering divorce.

Such a man can be used by God for many areas of ministry including a marriage counselor but not as a Pastor.

Would you want your children to have Nicki Cruz as a pattern to follow.
If you dont remember, Nicki could smash a coke bottle in his hands and then
rub it in your face.

The qualifications are not based on "either or" but examples in the specific areas noted.

Would you say that Charles Stanley has been a good example to follow since his wife
had divorced him?

No

I Timothy 3:2 --- Blameless - does that mean must be perfect? at what point should he resign as pastor?

The term "blameless" does not mean "perfect" but translates a Greek term that comes from wrestling and refers to the idea that an opponent can get a hand on you in such a way that he is able to pin you to the matt. Divorce gives oppoents to do that.

sober -(sound mind) does that mean a pastor with Alzheimer's must resign - and at what point?

Absolutely such a person is no longer qualified and should resign

vs 3 - not given to wine - does that mean - total abstinence or just if a pastor gets drunk?

It means exactly what it says - "given" means they are alcoholics and should resign

vs 5 - having his children in subjection - does that mean perfect kids, or how misbehaved are they allowed to be.

Absolutely, if his children are openly rebellious while under his roof as he is speaking about his home.

Vs 6 Not a novice --(granted - the time might be different for different individuals)

No, it does not refer to different times, but a novice is a novice regardless of their age and they are unfit.

Is a three year ThG sufficient - or should he have a BA, then a 3 year seminary degree?
Or is it acceptable for a man in Appalachia who quit school in the 8th grade to work in coal minds -and then 5 years later (without any additional schooling) to become the pastor in the mountains of West Virginia?

The biblical qualifications do not mention or refer to any period of public schooling or any degrees.

 

[Reynolds]

Right after a divorce is not a good time for a man to become a pastor.

After a period of time - the Lord can use such a man who has committed the "unpardonable sin"
in fact, such a man is in a better position to counsel a couple who are considering divorce.

Would you want your children to have Nicki Cruz as a pattern to follow.
If you dont remember, Nicki could smash a coke bottle in his hands and then
rub it in your face.

Would you say that Charles Stanley has been a good example to follow since his wife
had divorced him?

I Timothy 3:2 --- Blameless - does that mean must be perfect? at what point should he resign as pastor?
sober -(sound mind) does that mean a pastor with Alzheimer's must resign - and at what point?
vs 3 - not given to wine - does that mean - total abstinence or just if a pastor gets drunk?
vs 5 - having his children in subjection - does that mean perfect kids, or how misbehaved are they allowed to be.
Does this include when they become adults?
Vs 6 Not a novice --(granted - the time might be different for different individuals)
Is a three year ThG sufficient - or should he have a BA, then a 3 year seminary degree?
Or is it acceptable for a man in Appalachia who quit school in the 8th grade to work in coal minds -and then 5 years later (without any additional schooling) to become the pastor in the mountains of West Virginia?

Charles Stanley is definitely not at the top of my list. Not near the top. Close to the bottom. The way he treated , or should I say mistreated, Andy during the divorce and the time immediately following speaks volumes about his character.

 

[Salty]

Scripture tells us that a man must be the husband of one wife.
When a person gets divorced - his marriage is dissolved - that is he no longer has a wife.

If Paul was talking about a divorce - why did he not say divorce?

 

[Reynolds]

Scripture tells us that a man must be the husband of one wife.
When a person gets divorced - his marriage is dissolved - that is he no longer has a wife.

If Paul was talking about a divorce - why did he not say divorce?

If the first divorce was not because of sexual immorality of the spouse, then the remarriage is adultery. I agree with many theologians that it is only a one time act of adultery and it is forgivable. But, are you OK having your pastor commit the one time act of adultery? How about fornication? What about if your pastor comes to the deacons and says, me and my secretary are going out to have a one night stand. After that one time, we won't do it again?

 

[Ziggy]

But of course if the pastor was a murderer or drug dealer and spent time in the slammer before conversion, he has a great testimony, no?

 

[labaptist]

I am the pastor in the OP. I mentioned my divorce in the OP to show I didn't believe I could reconcile with my ex wife. I didn't post it for a debate on divorce and remarriage for a pastor, but rather what safe guards a pastor should take while dating to avoid scandal other than the obvious.

Let me ask this. As I mentioned in the OP my ex wife remarried but has since gotten divorced from her second husband. Do you think I would be free to remarry her? That's why I quoted Deut 24 since it seems to forbid a remarriage to an ex spouse after they remarry. We've been divorced 11 years and I have been single since then.

 

[Yeshua1]

On antoher thread - which is "Divorced Pastor acceptable" a pastor stated that
he may want to get re-married. For those of you who beleived that a pastor should not
be divorced - let alone get re-married - this thread is your opportunity to discuss the
issue:

So here is the original post from LABaptist

Open for discussion

All depends if the divorce was on a biblical basis or not!

 

[Salty]

LA - is your ex interested in a marriage with you