Do you homeschool/ Private School/ or Public School your kids?

[Bro. Curtis]

I send my daughter to a private Christian school. I am a single dad & just cannot homeschool her. It costs a lot of money, but what else could I do ? She is learning creation, and bible study is required.

That being said, I don't believe every kid there is going to grow up a believer, & have some doubts whether or not I am doing the right thing. But it beats public school, & she hasn't been able to get away with anything.

 

[Joy]

Karen I apologize if I have offended you on this issue. As a teacher, I feel I have a duty to teach the facts, no matter how hard they are to hear. I disagree with your reasoning, and feel it has been tarnished by the world's philosophy, but as a mother, I know you love your child and want what is best there. Putting a child into a public school is not a sin, even though I don't think it is ever best.

The only thing I wish to get across is that no matter what school you choose for your child, it is still the responsibility of the parents to teach social skills such as respect, obedience, joyfullness, and the rest that I have already mentioned, in the home.

Socialization does not happen by placing children with other children. This is well documented, and it is even in the Bible, because parents are commanded to teach these skills to their children, not anyone else. If they are learning these skills at home, then they are "socialized," and todays mothers who are teaching these skills to their children at home, needn't feel pressured by the world to "socialize" their children by the world's method.

I know how much pressure there is to "socialize," but Mom is all they need. My children have never been to play groups or preschool. They are at home learning how to be kind and respectful and obedient. They have no trouble interacting with any person of any age, whether they are strangers in the store, or grandparents, or babies. They aren't always little angels, but molding their character is my responsiblity. Learning how to react when "Johnny" take my crayons is mother's responsibility. Learning to extend your hand, look a person in the eye, and say "Hello," in a kind and smiling face, is not done in any school.

You learn social skill at home.

 

[redwhitenblue]

Joy, no I am not offended at all, sorry if I snapped there.

My point is not actually that the kid is taught how to socialize around peers, my point is that watching my son I'm seeing how much he needs his peers. He's bored stiff, when he's around other kids his little personality comes shining thru and his eyes light up. My son has already been taught about respect and kindness just as you pointed out, but, he needs more than I can offer him at home.

I was just like him as a kid and I was kept away from school and actually that alone caused severe depression in me and my parents actually now regret keeping me in homeschool. My son is the same way, we are both people orianted and need that interaction with others, he doesn't need taught how to, just to be in there.

karen

 

[Headcoveredlady]

Hello,
I have been reading these posts with much interest. As the newcomer I would challenge Karen to search out what Scripture would say about socialization and discipleship. As born again Christians we are to go to the Word of God first and then see if it matches up with what we are being told or taught about an issue.

HCL

 

[Clint Kritzer]

Originally posted by post-it:
The whole socialization argument (peer pressure, handle bully's, etc) can be summed up in one statement.

"If you aren't going to prison, you don't need to learn how to survive in prison."

True, but what of kids that are going to go to college? Is there that a big a difference between the 17 year old that graduates high school and the 18 year old that enters college the next year?

 

[post-it]

Originally posted by Clint Kritzer:
True, but what of kids that are going to go to college? Is there that a big a difference between the 17 year old that graduates high school and the 18 year old that enters college the next year?

This of course, can't apply to every child, but by the age 17 or 18, I feel they can handle peer presure 10 times better than a non-homeschooled kid. They tend to be more independent and can communicate and think on a more mature level. Then again, some homeschooled kids I know went directely into the drug and sex scene and got into all kinds of trouble. I do feel that at the very core of homeschooled or public schooled kids it always boils down to the parents and what the love and communication is like between them. It just happens that more time is automaticlly spent with the homeschooler and this defaults a lot of the postive points I've made.

One more important fact and the only one I disagree with on Joy's earlier post. Homeschoolers do socialize with certain peers. My son was in several sporting groups, as well as Boy Scouts, summer camp and more. They get controled socialization with others that we parents can select and control.

Now, to end this. I don't think homeschooling is for every kid. If it isn't, then I think private school is the best answer. If not that (costs etc), then public school may be the only answer. I and most of us, went through public school and turned out ok, but know that I would have done much better if I had the choice back then to go Private. For sure, my grammer would have been vastly improved. Although, I just got offered a book deal from a major publishing company...Yea!

[ April 30, 2002, 02:36 AM: Message edited by: post-it ]

 

[redwhitenblue]

Head, actually I really haven't taken the time to search out scripture with this issue, perhaps if you know any scriptures that speak out against sending your child to public school or having your child be with other children then I would be most interested in knowing of this.

My stand simple comes from viewing my son and understanding from a mother instinct point of view that he needs more than what he's recieving.

karen

 

[Ron]

My wife and I homeschool our 6 year old. We just started last year. I have heard the argument about socialization, and I found it interesting that at most of our families events, my nieces and nephews from public school take their pocket video games everywhere they go. Just at Easter my nephew sat in a corner all by himself for two hours and played his game.

So who is it that has the socialization problem?

<>< Ron <><

 

[The Galatian]

It's very possible to let children learn how to socialize with others and get along without mommy or daddy about to support them, without sending them to public school.

Scouts, organized sports, church groups, and a host of other opportunities are out there. But yes, school is an important part of socialization, even if one can compensate for it.

I'm inclined to think the (relatively few) cases where homeschooling fails are due to parents who simply want to keep their kids dependent on them and socially controlled, rather than provide an education.

If you want to homeschool to provide an education for your child because the school can't meet his or her needs, that's one thing. If you hope to insulate them from society, that's probably a bad reason.

For society's ills, you have to immunize, not insulate. Unless you plan on being always with your children for the rest of their lives.

[ April 30, 2002, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: The Galatian ]

 

[Don]

Respectfully disagree. I don't need to go into a nudie bar to experience it in order to figure out that I don't need to be going into nudie bars.

I don't need to push my little perch of a fish child into the shark pool in order to teach them not to get eaten, either.

I do put my little perch of a fish children into the pond with other perch, and a few sunfish, so that they learn how to get along with each other.

The one thing that I do, that my parents never did with me--both I and my wife were public-schooled, by the way--was talk to my kids, and explain the decisions that I make regarding them and the things they do.

I don't always explain the decisions right away; there may not be time for that. But I try to explain to them at some point.

Reason being, my job isn't to "insulate" them; it's to protect them. And some day, their job will be to protect their children. They learn how to do that from my mistakes and my successes.

 

[Star]

Hi all,

I'm definately homeschooling (or unschooling) my Emily (now age three) Gee homeschooling begins as early as you like really. I had concerns over the "socialization" issue years ago but having children around mature adults is teaching them by exposure to become adults, they are to mature. I don't minimize the need to have other children in her life in fact I believe its healthy for children to "play". I also ask my daughter what she would like to do, such as ballet, tap, swimming, gymnastics, etc. Shes learning to make choices from her current interests and she is with other children her age and in her "area of interest". This certainly wouldn't be play altogether but in her age group teachers include ALOT of play to keep such a one interested in the area choosen. This keeps it fun, ofcourse she constantly changes what she thinks she'll like to do. But we also had Gymboree play classes, children in the neighborhood come over and I try to help make it great fun for all of them.

I suppose one could homeschool school and shelter a child but I think if the parents get involved and really look for exciting opportunities for both creative fun and learning experiences they are definately out there and I know no child that hasn't longed for greater closeness with their parents, but a healthy and monitored balance can be easy to achieve, just pack your home with fun learning tools and share your time and creativity with your children.

I personally have known more nightmare stories shared from public school then I care to go into. I don't think school is really the place to "socialize" nor able to discern what is best for them in chosing. An example is, my child loves to play with three sisters (close to her own age) down the street, but the father was outraged at them being at our house without informing them (though I had them call, apparently the message machine picked up and the children left a message). The father is new to our country and I don't speak his langauge but his children are bi lingual. He came and found his children at my house and lifted two of them off the ground by the back of their hair in front of me and another mother. We were mortified, and still pondering what to do fearing for these children. If the father would do this in front of us he would do it when we weren't there. I don't want my daughter to see this kind of unjustifiable behavior.

So I will no longer let my daughter visit, but they can come to my house (Thats the rules) I don't want to punish the children but my daughter sees that I'm not being a very nice mommy not letting her go. I know whats best for her but shes too young to understand. Theres so much to homeschooling (unschooling) that appeals to my instincts as a mother (in my own personal view) I just love the fact that when my child has an interest we can dive into whatever she desires to learn, making learning fun and delightful not forced. Hopefully that will encourage a healthy lifelong love of learning with lots of times of informal play where I can watch her play and grow until I see shes equipped to know whats right for herself. I think a parent is best equipped by instinct to discern the needs of her child. I'm not a heavy handed type person having unreasonable strictness for strictnesses sake. I believe in a healthy balance and finding it for your own situation, but I certainly have no hard words for any mother who is not able to do it or feels like she would be making a judgement against her better judgement. Everyone must do what they feel is right in their own hearts.

In Him Kim

 

[The Galatian]

I feel much better that my kids went out into the world prepared. They did better than their homeschooled friends. Not just more successful. They kept their faith. For which I'm grateful.

Too little protection puts kids at risk. So does too much. No one said it was easy.

 

[Star]

The Galation,

Its good to hear some positive reports from inside the public school system too

I only wish to hear more of them as time goes on certainly.You have an excellent way of looking at this and most of it is in "perspective" you have a good one

In Him Kim

 

[Headcoveredlady]

Hi Karen,
I appreciate your humility in asking for verses. AS a matter of fact I do know of a few.
The first is Proverbs 13:20, " He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm." This is not to say that every person who attends public school is a fool. It is to say that most young children are foolish and not wise. Born again Christians are to be in the business of getting wisdom. This is God's wisdom, not the worlds. So, if we mom's are gettng wiser, which we should be than we are the ones whom they ought to be with, so they can become wise.
1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be decieved bad company corrupts good morals." Many unsaved parents send their children to school. There are also many unsaved and homosexual teachers. These people will corrupt the good morals that we have taught our children for the few hours you have them in the evening and weekends. Did you know that the major education reformers of the early 20th century even knew this. They stated that, "We can train the children because we know that one hour every Sunday will not be enough." I can research the exact quote if you prefer.
2 Cor6:14-15. I ask that you read this one yourself and see what you think.

HCL

 

[Star]

HCL,
Though we are in the world we are not of it, Paul did not mean to not associate ourselves with those who are immoral in the world, otherwise we would have to leave the world, but he spoke about associating ourselves with a brother who was as such. Both are seen in the passages offered here.

1Corinth 5:9-13 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet NOT altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

In speaking of his first letter to the Corinthians in regard to this, Paul then explains in 2 Corinth why he wrote this part in 1Corinth here...

2Corinth 2:4 -10 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you. But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all. Sufficient to such a man [is] this punishment, which [was inflicted] of many. So that contrariwise ye [ought] rather to forgive [him], and comfort [him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm [your] love toward him. For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things. To whom ye forgive any thing, I [forgive] also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave [it], for your sakes [forgave I it] in the person of Christ;

As for the Companion of fools who would suffer harm, this is Christ who was a companion to those who did not know him (us being the fools) and it was Christ who suffered harm (being Crucified) Because God said, "My Children are foolish they do not know me". Theres alot of beautiful things in proverbs that point to Jesus as well. I suppose one could look at it in the way as it applies to "us" but I would never atribute "wisdom" to my own doing for sure. Christ crucified is both the power of God and the Wisdom of God.The foolishness which is preached by the "fools for Christ"

Personally I believe we are all sinners saved by Gods grace and that includes the "homosexual" who needs Jesus as well. I don't believe I've heard of homosexuals performing their acts in front of students but definately keep me informed if this is ever an accepted practice. Statistics have shown that it is "heterosexual males" are those much more likely to molest children.

Some people are just not able to homeschool like single moms supporting their families but the best part is that we have a great and loving father who sees our circumstances and is definately able to make all things work out for good toward those who love us. Darkness cannot overcome the light (though it may try). That should build our confidence as we put our trust in God

In Him Kim

[ May 01, 2002, 10:23 AM: Message edited by: Star ]

 

[Mike McK]

I don't have kids yet, but when I do, I'd like to send them to parochial school.

The parochial schools in our area consistently outperform public schools and my experiences there were all good.

I wouldn't want to homeschool them because of the homeschooled kids I've met and I know that I don't want them to go to public school because...well, where do I start.

Mike

http://www.keylife.org

[ May 01, 2002, 10:27 AM: Message edited by: Smoke_Eater ]

 

[Star]

Mike,

Great point, I'm still considering the option of private school myself but "part time" theres a school Upitinas here in Pa that a child can attend from two to five days. I think I might opt for two or three days for exposure and unschool on the other days, trying to find a healthy balance in regards to this situation myself with many different possibilities to consider. Thank God I've been looking into these things for years prior, but I know exactly what you mean, I've seen some very depressed homeschooled children as well that did not display the ability to "relate to others". I personally want a healthy balance, I hear you

In Him Kim

 

[Headcoveredlady]

Kim,
I was a bit confused by your posts. In your first post you say that you are homeschooling and will not allow your daughter to be around a certain family. Why not? Because you say that we ought to be in the world.
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Moderator Note: HCL, since you have come to this forum, you have made inflammatory statments that people are attacking, persecuting, and sending hate mail against you. I will say this one last time. Disagreeing with you does not = attacks, persecution, and hate mail. If you continue to make these slanderous remarks, you will be suspended. If you cannot handle a good spirited debate, then maybe you should find somewhere else to go.

Thank You,

Joseph Botwinick
Moderator
--------------------------------------------------
First of all you have no idea how much we witness to others. We are not to be partakers with them. In public schools there are many homosexual teachers who teach small children that it is good to be homosexual. In fact there is a book circulated in many public schools for Kindergarten students called "Heather has two mommies."
YOu are right that we are to in the world, obviously as there is no way to get out until Jesus comes, but we are not to partake of their evil deeds and sacrafice our children to the worlds system.

HCL

[ May 01, 2002, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Joseph Botwinick ]

 

[Star]

HCL,

We all can use our judgement according to our faith, not a problem here, I certainly won't judge you for any decisions you make for your children we all raise them in the Lord according to our light of understanding. I draw the lines where I see fit as you do according to your understanding as we both seek the Lord for their best. One parent might percieve that He who "spares his rod hates his son" to mean to beat children into subjection (I've seen this) I don't percieve the verse to mean anything like this at all. So its according to what we understand. Paul does seem to say (above) that if he was talking about ALL immoral people we would have to leave the world itself but he seems pretty specific. I thought you were drawing a point through the scriptures which indicated to the contrary so I posted both to bring forth some clarity into the situation.

I've known some homosexuals that have been better freinds to me then, well lets not talk about that. We are all sinners and not every homosexual teaches kids that its the way of life for our children. Do I agree with the act? Certainly not but I'm also told not to judge them.

In regards to the father of his children dragging them away from our house that "to me" spoke in my heart to be cautious not because I judged the father or the children but it did not agree with my own hearts conviction to be "gentle" to these children, the open violent action is not something I want my daughter exposed to (by a stronger power/ Adult) Shes not use to that kind of behavior its scarey to see such things.

On the other hand kids themselves will fight amongst themselves, she needs (on her own level to deal with her peers in her age group as she gradually grows, no problem here, its my own hearts conviction and I share as you yourself share according to those convictions.

On the other hand if I was freinds with a "homosexual" I do not agree with the life of their choosing but I will not judge them. I certainly wouldn't want my daughter watching "homosexual movies" lets be real here. So we can all draw the line from our own hearts and convictions, I think that might work. You have the Holy Spirit and I have the Holy Spirit who renews us both its ok to agree to disagree.

Don't get so upset, I understand you have convictions and I won't judge your convictions, please allow me to have mine too. I assume you came here to fellowship and thats a good thing but don't think everyones against ok?

In Him Kim

 

[Headcoveredlady]

Kim,
No problem here. I was sharing what the Lord has taught us in our years of being convicted to homeschool because Karen asked. We do not know everything about God's Word and we sure have not seen the full fruits of our labors to train our children for the Lord Jesus Christ, but we do love to share what the Lord is doing in our lives. And we love to share the Word and what He has taught us.

HCL