Does a christian always have to be nice?

[xdisciplex]

I don't think so.
I noticed one thing. I'm sick of always being nice and not saying what I really mean.In the past I often did not say anything when I was angry at somebody for a reason I rather swallowed my anger. But this is even more unhealthy. It eats you from the inside and it also makes you feel like a whimp, like somebody who doesn't even have the guts to stand up for himself.
I cannot imagine that as a christian you have to be this way. I noticed that letting your anger out can feel really liberating. At least you have said what you thought instead of swallowing it. I thought about it and this is simply not the person I want to be. I don't want to be like this anymore and never say my opinion. In the past I also said yes even though I mean not. When somebody asked me for a favor I said yes even if I didn't want to. I'm really sick of this. I only did things because I felt like I "had to" do them, because I thought that as a christian or as a "nice person" you simply "have to" do this. But the problem is when you say yes even though you mean no you cannot even respect yourself anymore and then you start hating yourself. I have sometimes done things and later on I was so angry at myself for doing it that I felt like beating myself up. I think it's better to be true to yourself. Or what do you think? It simply cannot be healthy to try to be nice and patient and tolerant and never say what you think.

 

[music4Him]

XDX~
Hi :wavey: I been there... word of advice that I got.
Just because you are a Christian does not mean you let people walk all over you. You can say no politly and mean it. The bible tells us we shouldn't be men pleasers.

Gal 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

But I will warn you for those who have gotten used to you saying yes... they might not like it.
One lady at our fire department got mad when I told her no, but I figure she will get over it.

 

[D28guy]

same

The scriptures tell us "be angry, and sin not". Its perfectly alright to be angry sometimes.

When these child molestation cases hit the news I become angry. When I see Satan afflict God people with sickness or calamity I get angry.

Of course we are to walk in the goodness of the Holy Spirits fruit, as God cultivates those attitudes in our life. That fruit of course is...

[FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]5:23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica] Those qualities of course should be the over all attitudes and and mindsets that influence everthing we do and in all our interaction with other people. But there are times when anger is appropriate. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]God bless, [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]Mike [/FONT]

 

[xdisciplex]

Often I am angry at my brother because he never cleans up his stuff at home.
He always causes a mess like a stupid 6 year old! This really upsets me and my father, too. Even though he is an adult he still causes a mess and simply doesn't stick to the rules. Sometimes I think he might be doing this on purpose to either demonstrate that he is "above the law" or to see how far he can go. Often I feel like exploding and I feel like yelling at him and really letting all this anger out but I never do because somehow I'm kind of scared of him. But always swallowing this anger also isn't a solution. And you cannot talk to him, if I said to him that he shall clean up his stuff in a normal way he would freak out or tell me to shut up. And my father also doesn't do much against it. Sometimes he gets upset over it but he never really makes it clear and really pulls the consequences because he doesn't want to ruin his relationship with my brother. But what's the worth of such a relationship when you have somebody who doesn't even do the most easiest things in the household and who is more or less like a parasite? My brother is a parasite. He eats, drinks, sleeps, showers and doesn't do anything to help out in the house. He is like a guest in a hotel who is served and doesn't do anything and this really angers me. He's so arrogant he thinks that only because he is so busy studying he doesn't even have to wash his own dishes. GRRR
If I was my father I would have made this clear long time ago. I would have told him to either stick to the rules or he'll be thrown out but my father doesn't do this and so he gets upset over my brother and I also get upset over my brother because I see how he behaves. He simply doesn't care. When he uses a dish then he doesn't wash it and put it back into the cupboard he simply puts it into the sink and he knows exactly that my father has to wash it and put it back even though my father has arthritis and his hands hurt but he does not care!!! He simply doesn't care.
Either my father cleans it up or I clean it up and the thought that I clean up the stuff of my brother who is too lazy to clean up his own stuff makes me really angry. And this anger builds up over the years and I bet in his own eyes my brother even thinks he's a good son and I'm the bad one. He thinks only because he's a more successful student he's better. I am so sick of him because he's such an arrogant, unpleasant person.

 

[webdog]

How "nice" do you think Jesus seemed when He was throwing over the tables in the Temple? If being "nice" were one of the requirements of salvation, I don't think many of us would be in Heaven.

 

[xdisciplex]

How "nice" do you think Jesus seemed when He was throwing over the tables in the Temple? If being "nice" were one of the requirements of salvation, I don't think many of us would be in Heaven.

Okay, but Jesus knew that he was right. I don't know if I'm right when I become angry.

 

[Jim1999]

The only thing being nice means is that your mother did the right things when you were young.

There are atheists that a very nice indeed, and some Christians not to be emulated.

Cheers,

Jim

 

[Perry Reid]

One of the growing misconceptions about christianity is that it is all about being nice.

Some people have bought into the feminization of christianity and truly believe that Jesus came to earth to tell us all to get along. In their eyes, He just wants us to be courteous and considerate. This is a blasphemous reductionist view of who Jesus really is.

 

[xdisciplex]

Exactly. As a christian you don't always have to be nice just because people might expect you to be nice just because you're a christian.

 

[genesis12]

No. However, a Christian desires to follow after Christ, reflecting the love of God in interactions with others. It's not "have to," it's "want to" because of the changed, transformed life that is found in Jesus Christ alone. :applause: