Drawing a line in the sand; end of discussion!

[nodak]

Jim--you raised some good points.

We take a 7 year old grandkiddo with us to church--and yes, she stays for big church.

We teach her to behave herself. We take her out when she doesn't....which isn't often now.

Our pastor keeps in mind that in a church with children present superlong services don't work.

And our pastor includes the kiddoes in the service--they can greet, pass out bulletins, take the offering, etc.

And our church doesn't seem to be losing them during their teen and young adult years.

 

[DiamondLady]

A couple of times I read the phrase "unruly children." I don't believe the OP said ANYTHING about the children being unruly at all...simply that there were children.

 

[Alive in Christ]

A Pastor....BANNING children from sitting with their PARENTS in the Sanctuary???

Disgracefull. Unimaginable. Ridiculous beyond belief.

I might even send him a note explaining that as a result of his decision to ban my children from sitting with my family in the sanctuary, I have decided to ban my presence and financial contributions from the sanctuary as well.

 

[Amy.G]

A Pastor....BANNING children from sitting with their PARENTS in the Sanctuary???

Disgracefull. Unimaginable. Ridiculous beyond belief.

Did you happen to watch Charles Stanley this week? He preached on that very thing. He said children should be in "big church". Even if they don't understand everything, it gets into their minds and it will grow as they do.

Couldn't agree more.

 

[dcorbett]

We have children's church while our worship service is going, but if you
want your kids to sit with you, of course, they can. It is up to parents
to deal with any problems, and we RARELY have problems with kids
that aren't immediately dealt with by the parents.

Regular members all agree that babies belong in the nursery, we have
never had a problem with anybody feeling like their toes are
stepped on!

If a visitor comes in with a baby, we take them to the nursery, introduce them to the attendant, let them hang around for a while if they choose to, and let them choose (with gentle encouragement) to place their baby in the nursery so that THEY can get more out of the service/message. We
have a seperate room where mothers can nurse their babies if they need
to do so, and mothers are always welcome to come back into the nursery
for any reason.

Pastor will tell you that his two girls are in the nursery as well.

 

[Alive in Christ]

Did you happen to watch Charles Stanley this week? He preached on that very thing. He said children should be in "big church". Even if they don't understand everything, it gets into their minds and it will grow as they do.

Couldn't agree more.

No, I didnt see that program, but I watch his broadcast any chance I get. Sometimes on TV and sometimes on the radio if I am driving around town.

He is a good teacher for sure. :thumbsup:

 

[preachinjesus]

I think we've talked about the OP's church situation and several people (including myself) encouraged him to leave because of the increasing changes in the attitudes and actions of the leadership. Even with this the case grows that you're simply not happy and it is best for you to probably go elsewhere.

As for the topic of conversation, listen the church where I serve is a large suburban church that reaches a lot of young families with infants and young children. We provide several overflow areas for parents with children (and have a fabulous children's area with complete preschool accommodations.) Yet we still have one or two loud children or crying babies a week. It happens. Nothing you can do about, or should do about it if you're sane. It's people, we deal with people in ministry.

While I will chastise the leadership of this church I will suggest that the approach is difficult at best. Some families want their children in service with them. That's great, I hope they have a discipling home. We need parents more involved with their kids. Just last week I was sitting in service during the worship portion and a child right behind was screaming and crying for about five minutes. Finally the couple left with the kid. Other times they've sat through the whole service. It is what it is and that's why God created the man who created sound systems.

It's a tough call about how to care for children in services. Generally we encourage our staff to let them be...unless they're running up and down the aisles, yelling uncontrollably, or being very disruptive.

 

[abcgrad94]

I never felt comfortable leaving my children in the church nursery for a variety of reasons. I would not sit under the preaching of a man who refused to allow children to sit through church services. It's not his job to decide how I rear my children, that's MY job. Sounds like the pastor in the OP is a dictator, not a servant.

I believe pastors who "ban" children and babies from church services are doing a great disservice to their church members and to the children. You can't tell a child they aren't good enough, or quiet enough to be in church, then turn around and expect them to want to participate when they get older. Instead, you train them and bring them up in the Lord.

If a particular child is rude and disruptive, the pastor can discreetly talk to the parents about it. There's no need to ban children from church.

 

[canadyjd]

I heard a preacher tell a woman(in the middle of his sermon{she was going to take her baby outside because of crying}) "if I can't preach over a baby, something's wrong", meaning to not take the child outside. If a preacher can't "outpreach" a baby, something's wrong.

I had a woman start to take a crying baby out of the sanctuary once and I stopped her. I said, "maam, you don't have to leave. That baby isn't bothering me one little bit."

She responded, "I know, but she can't stand of your preaching any more.":smilewinkgrin:

peace to youraying:

 

[Amy.G]

I had a woman start to take a crying baby out of the sanctuary once and I stopped her. I said, "maam, you don't have to leave. That baby isn't bothering me one little bit."

She responded, "I know, but she can't stand of your preaching any more.":smilewinkgrin:

peace to youraying:

:laugh::laugh:

 

[JesusFan]

I had a woman start to take a crying baby out of the sanctuary once and I stopped her. I said, "maam, you don't have to leave. That baby isn't bothering me one little bit."

She responded, "I know, but she can't stand of your preaching any more.":smilewinkgrin:

peace to youraying:

My pastor usually will smile and say" looks like there is someone who thinks I forgot to study this week!"

 

[Pleasant_Bill]

1. But, speaking as a pastor, there's something very unsettling about a church member taking his argument with the pastor to a group of people who are not part of the church.

2. But let me ask a question, is this the same church you were leaving and unhappy with in June?

In response to #1: I stated the Pastor won't meet with any members these days to discuss ANY issues. He deflects/directs to the Executive Pastor who in turn just reiterates the policy in question. As a fellow Pastor, the fact that I posted about it here is what you find unsettling and not the glaring issues of his leadership (or lack thereof)?

In response to #2: yes; it's the same church. My friends at the church want us to stay and try to work through the issues we have with the leadership. We've invested a lot of our time, talents and treasures there and don't feel called to leave as of yet.

 

[Pleasant_Bill]

Thank you for the information. Based on this I would say absolutely leave if you are discontent instead of causing trouble and dishonoring the Lord's name.

What's more dishonoring to the Lord's name? A reclusive Pastor driving away members/guests with a suspect policy or members questioning decisions that are being made that affect the church?

Why is it deemed to be 'causing trouble' if members voice their concerns to the congregation (in this case, the only avenue of dialog available)? We are the ones who PAY the Pastors' salary, keep the lights on AND volunteer their time to help keep things running smoothly. I'm not advocating a 'Mob rule' mentality but there should ALWAYS be an open door policy with Leadership.

Could you clarify? For the past year or so, the pastor has not only refused to discuss the children in the sanctuary issue but other issues as well?

Any issues.

 

[Pleasant_Bill]

A couple of times I read the phrase "unruly children." I don't believe the OP said ANYTHING about the children being unruly at all...simply that there were children.

Correct; ANY children. This includes special needs ones as well.

A Pastor....BANNING children from sitting with their PARENTS in the Sanctuary???

Disgracefull. Unimaginable. Ridiculous beyond belief.
I might even send him a note explaining that as a result of his decision to ban my children from sitting with my family in the sanctuary, I have decided to ban my presence and financial contributions from the sanctuary as well.

Agreed. A lot of us were in shock when he delivered his edict.

Oh and I like your idea about sending him that note concerning financial contributions. :tongue3: