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Ethical ministry issue

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by TaterTot, Dec 27, 2005.

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  1. Filmproducer

    Filmproducer Guest

    Tator,

    The scenario you gave sounds a lot like the teen might have been molested at some point himself. Have you talked with the boys parents or the grandma? At the very least the grandma would be more likely to keep an eye on the teen around the younger boy she watches. I would definitely report the situation to child and family services. They would most likely conduct a discreet investigation of this incident, and also the teens own circumstances. I have worked with a child and family services investigator before and it is a difficult job, but it is always better to report ANY alleged abuse to the proper authorities. In your specific case, I would probably set a meeting between the 7 year old's Mom, the woman she wants to tell, the pastor, and the teens parents/grandma. That way no one can be accused of "taking" sides, the allegation can be aired, etc., and a proper course of action can be determined. Good luck. I'll be praying for you and this situation.
     
    #21 Filmproducer, Dec 28, 2005
  2. gb93433

    gb93433 Active Member
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    I agree. If you do not have the support of the supporting leadership in the church then plan on packing your bags.
     
    #22 gb93433, Dec 28, 2005
  3. TomVols

    TomVols New Member

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    This is not an ethical issue: this is a legal issue. Varying states have different laws regarding this. You need to speak with a lawyer PRONTO before you do anything else. Penitent privlige wins out in some states; welfare of the child wins in others.
     
    #23 TomVols, Dec 29, 2005
  4. Major B

    Major B <img src=/6069.jpg>

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    In Kentucky, if any kind of sexual or physical abuse is even mentioned as a possibility to a "mandatory reporter" (pastor, Sunday School Teacher, public school teacher, bus driver, youth pastor, etc. etc.,) that person MUST report the allegation. As a counselor, I inform people before their first session as to what I cannot, by law, keep confidential. Since I am a public school teacher, I also have a responsibility there. Again, an allegation is reportable whether or not there is any evidence.

    A young friend of mine encountered a nightmare situation in his pastorate, that of an elderly deacon who had molested at least three generations of girls of the church. When my young friend did the only right thing (he reported the allegations), the deacon was indicted, and the young pastor was fired by the church, the majority of which were related to the pedophile.
     
    #24 Major B, Dec 30, 2005
  5. Bob Farnaby

    Bob Farnaby Active Member
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    Does the association/grouping your church belongs to have anyone who is an expert in this area? If so, could be worth talking with them. It is important for the church as well as the individuals involved that it be dealt with correctly, and with loving wisdom.

    Regards
    Bob
     
    #25 Bob Farnaby, Dec 30, 2005
  6. Elnora

    Elnora New Member

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    Tater,
    Why does the mother of the child want to "warn" another mom? I would suggest she and her husband go to the parents of the older child with him present and discuss it. I would suggest that in the future she keep her little ones away from the older unsupervised. I really don't see the need for you to be involved to the point of confrontation. That is the child's parent's job.

    I would also suggest that parents that may not have thought about these issues be taught that it isn't appropriate for older children to be left with younger outside of the presence of their parents.
     
    #26 Elnora, Dec 30, 2005
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