I am much to arrogant to allow anything external to affect my emotional balance. But I have to admit the very concept of hell bothers me sometimes.
When I stop to think about it I too find the concept horrifying. It causes me to question whether or not I am capable of comprehending the love of God (which I am not). How can a loving God allow such horror and torment? I don't know.
But I do know this. Some day, in the not too distant future, when God calls me home and causes me, with my renewed eternal mind, to better comprehend Him and what He has decreed, I will know that He is right and I was wrong. And the provisions He has made for both the redeemed and the lost are right, and holy, and perfect. Because He is God and I am not.
We may not ultimately agree on what is true or not (which is ok---disagreement doesn't hurt me), but I think your balanced approach is appropriate.
What I cannot stand is when people seem to be almost gleeful at the idea of hell. If a person doesn't approach hell with the gravity and solemnity it demands, that person really needs to reevaluate himself/herself.