First Beautiful Year

[untangled]

Brothers and Sisters,

Just wanted to announce that yesterday, the 24th was my one year wedding anniversary. It's been a great year. I have found that marriage takes work, but its well worth it. I hear people talking bad about their husband or wife and it bothers me. One thing always makes me feel so great. I know that my wife is proud to be married to me. I think I'm the luckiest man in the world to have a wife that supports me, supports the ministry God has called me to and believes in having a biblical marriage.

In this, what advice would you "old"

married folks give to someone like myself to make the second year as good as the first? I would love to hear from pastors and their wives about your beginning in the ministry and your early years of marriage. Also, I want to have children. My wife and I agreed that we should wait until things are a little more secure financially. Maybe after God places me in a pastorate. When did you decide to have children? I believe I want kids now more than my wife, being that she is a few years younger (22). I'm 25. She does desire to have children, but in a few more years. If I could realistically afford a child I'd want one today.

Any advice, thoughts, etc.???

In Christ,

Brooks

 

[GrannyGumbo]

Keeping the Lord always first in your life is the best you can do. ~Granny, married 40 years

...children are an heritage of the Lord. (we raised 6) God Bless

 

[untangled]

Thanks for the words Granny.

In Christ

Brooks

 

[Ed Edwards]

Untangled: " ... you "old" married folks ... "


Actually your phrase has meaning. I'm 61-years-old.
My wife (poster name Thankful) and i celebrated our
36th month of marriage 19 Jan 2005, just 8 days ago.

I have several advises, but my time is limited, let me hit
the best ones first:

1. Your wife has a called ministry.
Maybe you feel called by God to the pastorate.
You are called whether you know it or know.
Your wife is called by God to ministry first to you
and second to the church to which you are called.
Never forget or discount: your wife has a God called
ministry.

2. pending ...

 

[av1611jim]

Granny has the best advice.
In second place I would say, always keep your wife in second place. (See Granny's post).
IOW; you are to MINISTER to her needs always.
As the kids come along, they should be third.
Then your ministry. Keep things in their proper perspective and you will do fine.
So here it is;
Jesus=first place in your heart.
Wife=second place in your heart.
Kids=third place in your heart.
Ministry=fourth place in your heart.
God will honor that.
But wait! you say, what about me? I don't see me in that list.

EXACTLY! Now yer getting it! That's the point of "Love your wife as Christ loved the church."

In HIS service;
Jim

 

[Ed Edwards]

Amen, Brother AV1611jim -- Preach it!

I have some ideas how to do what Bro Jim
outlined. I'll be back.

 

[Dr. Bob]

I'm a survivor of 35 years of marriage to a very patient and forgiving woman.

Patient. Forgiving. And prefering one another.

And 25-30 are good years for thinking about children. Enjoy the years of getting to know one another, build your love THEN have kids.

Mine are now all gone from home and if we didn't have a strong friendship, companionship, mutual interests, etc, apart from our children, we wouldn't have anything.

 

[Bro. James Reed]

I'm not married, but I've been very close and seen what makes marriages last and what makes them fail.

My brother just signed the divorce papers after only 2 1/2 years of marriage and a 1 1/2 year old baby boy. It's very sad. My aunt and uncle divorced after 20 years of marriage, but had their first child after less than 2 years.

These people had no time to get to know one another and come to love one another with something more deep than physical love or infatuation. People are of the mindset now that once a child arrives, then that is it. The rest of the marriage is devoted to that child. That is not the case.

My parents were married for 5 years before my brother came along and another 6 before I came along. They are happily married and working on their 34th year.

My grandparents waited 7 years before my mom came along and they were married for 40 years when he died twenty years ago.

Your "pecking" absolutely MUST follow in order to have a successful marriage.

God is number 1, always. Make sure your spouse knows this!

Spouse is number 2. Make sure your children know this. You picked your spouse, but you did not pick you children. Same way God loves us. He picked us.

Children are number 3. Make sure everyone else knows this.

I would not put myself last, that's a good way to die an early death, but I certainly must not come before any of the above, and I'd probably come in another 5 steps or so down the ladder.

The secrets to a happy marriage are in the bible.

MATTHEW 22:

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

AT THE END OF VERSE 40, I WOULD ADD, "AS WELL AS A HAPPY MARRIAGE."

God Bless you and your helpmeet.

Bro. James

 

[Thankful]

From a wife's point of view, I will relate what my husband does to make our marriage wonderful.

He treats me as if I am the most wonderful person in the world.

He calls me several times a day to see how I am doing and to tell me that he loves me.

He leaves little notes around the house telling me he loves me. I find them on the grocery list, the calendar, the computer, etc.

He is very appreciative of anything that I do and always thanks me for it. Examples: He thanks me for doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, running errands.

He never complains, or criticizes me...He lets me be me.

The only thing he expects of me is always laugh at his jokes even if I have heard them 100 times.

He makes me feel very secure, special, and loved.

Philippians 4:4-7 (HCSB):

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
5 Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Don't worry about anything, but in everything,
through prayer and petition with thanksgiving,
let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses
every thought, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

[dianetavegia]

My Jim and I have been married 35 years this fall and the most important thing (other than letting the Lord choose your mate and putting the Lord FIRST in your marriage) is to be best friends and each of you MUST give 100% to your marriage.

I got pregnant on our honeymoon and we never regretted it.

 

[untangled]

Thanks for posting everyone. I appreciate the kindness in the posts. Its good to see loving posts like this.

Diane,

You're absoulutely right in all you said. She is my best friend. When people I knew when I was younger ask me who I married I say my best friend. (After that I tell them her name so no mistakes are made about who my best friend is. you get what I'm saying.

)

I truly believe friendship is extremely important in a marriage. She is precious to me and we both know that it takes three to have a marriage.

In Christ,

Brooks