Frances, if one is not born permanently into the family of God when one is born again then you are not only saying that one can be 'unborn', but that the Holy Spirit is not capable of raising up those who are His. I have five adopted kids as well as the one I was able to have. Two of them are in their early twenties right now and not even talking to me. That is OK. They are still mine and will inherit from me when I die.
And there is no way I can love more than God!
Hebrews 12 says we who are His will be disciplined by Him. Just like we discipline our kids, only more fairly and firmly. It does not say He ever gives up on us!
Paul tells us in Romans 8 that we belong forever -- nothing can separate us from Him. And since I, myself, am something, that means I cannot even separate myself. But the point is, actually, I would not want to, for when one is born again of Christ, one is given a new heart, a new nature. I no longer WANT to sin, and am ashamed when I do. So different from before! I am indwelt by the Holy Spirit who loves through me. He leads me. He will not lead me away from Himself, for I am no longer my own. I belong to Him. I am not in charge of my final destiny. He is. Thank God for that!
If I were to have to worry about my own salvation's security, I would be spending all my time concentrating on myself and not loving God and loving others. It seems to me, then, that by taking my focus off God and others and putting it on myself in a state of constant concern about my own salvation is not only insulting to God, but is actually of the devil, for it is he who would want us to concentrate on ourselves to the exclusion of God and others.