Because a person wants to, not because he has too! And a visitor can tell the difference
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Handshaking
- Thread starter Salty
- Start date
Because a person wants to, not because he has too! And a visitor can tell the difference
The hand was shaking! LOL
Now you've quit preachin' and gone to meddlin'!
The handshakes I dislike is the person who sticks out their hand, and I do all the shaking. I dislike shaking a limp hand; I always feel like I'm going to remove it from the wrist because it is SO limp and doesn't feel like it's attached. I love a strong handshake (but not strong enough to hurt my hand and have gotten those) and even sometimes get them from women. The limp ones I get from both genders.
Heheh, even the frailest of our members has an enthusiastic handshake.
At a couple of Old Baptist Churches I've been to, I HAVE noticed a handful that will leave the building before the handshake; and I'll admit I've often wondered why. But, they're there at every meeting.
Tom Butler
New Member
I think the folks at our church try not to make the fellowship (handshaking) time a perfunctory exercise. Many of our folks will take time to have a brief conversation with visitors, get their names, where they're from, really make them feel welcome.
My standard question is "why are you here?" Before they can recoil from such a blunt question, I immediately follow up with, "I mean, what brought you our way today?" You can learn a lot about visitors in a very short amount of time.
I think I've told this story before. Three couples who had recently joined our church were asked what attracted them to our congregation. Each one of them mentioned that they saw a lot of love among our people.
So, I asked, it wasn't so much how we treated you when you visited, it was how you saw that we treated each other. Each couple said, that's it.l
My standard question is "why are you here?" Before they can recoil from such a blunt question, I immediately follow up with, "I mean, what brought you our way today?" You can learn a lot about visitors in a very short amount of time.
I think I've told this story before. Three couples who had recently joined our church were asked what attracted them to our congregation. Each one of them mentioned that they saw a lot of love among our people.
So, I asked, it wasn't so much how we treated you when you visited, it was how you saw that we treated each other. Each couple said, that's it.l
SaggyWoman
Active Member
I usually do volunteer work as an usher at a local (well, Charlotte) theatre group. Tonight, I got to go as a patron without the responsibilities of ushering. As I entered, I was greeted (quite warmly, I might add,) by people I knew and who also I needed to interact with (will call to pick up the tickets) and in all arenas, I "felt welcomed" and enjoyed being there. I also interacted with the group I attended the show with, but once we got in and sat down, and the show began, the show went on.
Not that church and worship is a show, but kind of, it is...the audience is God.
Not that church and worship is a show, but kind of, it is...the audience is God.
If I visit a church and am barely noticed or welcomed (if at all), I won't go back. I don't care how friendly they are to each other; they need to greet and welcome the visitors and let them know they are welcome there.
Some people are just not into handshaking, or they might just be in a hurry to get home or to the restaurant for dinner. Some might have to be at work in the afternoon and don't want to spend the little time they have in a conversaltion or waiting in a long line to shake hands after the service.
Some people are just not into handshaking, or they might just be in a hurry to get home or to the restaurant for dinner. Some might have to be at work in the afternoon and don't want to spend the little time they have in a conversaltion or waiting in a long line to shake hands after the service.
Which is exactly why our church has a time to shake hands and greet during the service.
I guess we're doomed if we do, and doomed if we don't.
There's no such thing as perfection; there's no such thing as pleasing everyone; there are those that will ALWAYS find fault regardless of your best intentions, with anything or everything.
Tom Butler
New Member
If I go to a church away from home, I'm less concerned with how I'm greeted or treated than with how it worships. Is the music God-honoring? Is the pastor's message Biblical?
Incidentally, I've never been to a Baptist church where the folks didn't make me welcome. Sometimes it comes across as contrived friendliness, they so obsessed with making us feel at home.
But If we're going to make the quality of the welcome the criterion for our returning, then fine. Then before we leave, let's shop through the building. How's the nursery? What about their programs for our teens? What about stuff for the geezers to do? Do they have a singles ministry?
We have become consumers of religion, buying where we get the best deal.
In the final analysis, the biggest question we should ask about a church where we're thinking of joining is not, "What does this church have for me and mine." It is, "is this where God would have me serve."
We can certainly plug into that decision our experience there, but it should not be the principal criterion.
Incidentally, I've never been to a Baptist church where the folks didn't make me welcome. Sometimes it comes across as contrived friendliness, they so obsessed with making us feel at home.
But If we're going to make the quality of the welcome the criterion for our returning, then fine. Then before we leave, let's shop through the building. How's the nursery? What about their programs for our teens? What about stuff for the geezers to do? Do they have a singles ministry?
We have become consumers of religion, buying where we get the best deal.
In the final analysis, the biggest question we should ask about a church where we're thinking of joining is not, "What does this church have for me and mine." It is, "is this where God would have me serve."
We can certainly plug into that decision our experience there, but it should not be the principal criterion.
Thinkingstuff
Active Member
I once heard a pentecostal preacher say he doesn't shake hands with anyone because he doesn't know what demons that person has and doesn't want to be infected by demons.
Actually, I have visited many many Baptist, Pentecostal, and other churches where I have not felt welcomed.
I do agree that the most important consideration is a Biblical message.
Let me make a point of reference here. Years ago, when I did a radio show on a local Christian Station - the subject of friendly churches came up. I decided to visit a number of churches just to see how friendly they were. Over a period of time, I visited some 50 churches, and only 5 were awarded the "Friendly Church Program" certificate; properly typed, signed and delivered with a letter explaining how I came to the conclusion that their church was friendly.
Of the 5 churches that received the certificate, all were liberal! :tear:
Of course, I do want to attend a Bible believing church, but when an unsaved person attends either with a friend or without, the friendliness of the congregation will certainly make a lasting "first impression"
Of the unfriendly churches I attended, the thing I noticed the most was that after service, most folks flocked to their cliques. Many in those churches thought they were friendly, but as an outsider looking in - they were not.
I did not do this survey out of spite, but rather to assist the churches in building a better church.
As an experiment, invite a non-Christian friend of yours to visit your church and ask them to make a valid synopsis of the friendliness of your church. ( remember, they must come incognito)
You just might be surprised at the results
Salty
Tom Butler
New Member
You make a good point. Incidentally, there's a website that is quite interesting. It's called the Ship of Fools http://www.ship-of-fools.com/mystery/index.html They have mystery worshipers all over the world who visit churches of all types and write a report grading aspects of the worship service, including friendliness.
Hey, Salty, how do you know if they are sincere or not? We have a designated handshaking segment with this Pastor, and the mood in our church has definitely brightened and become friendlier as a result. It is contagious to be friendly. At first, I am sure most were doing it because he (Pastor) wanted us to, but now we look forward to it.
Due to the H1N1, we do the safer thing and just give everyone noogies.
That is my kind of church!
We blow raspberries. Not real friendly.
I can tell when even though they shook my hand during the designated time, they totally ingnore me when service is over,
Well, we don't. I am usually trying to gather up all my music books, Bible, purse, and such when church is over, so I do sometimes miss the visitors.