Some of the extreme Calvinists on this forum do seem to have some gnostic tendencies mainly because they emphasize the importance of a "higher knowledge" and make it a test of orthodoxy. And they do go so far that they openly state that to believe and repent are off limits as far as telling folks to do it, or stating you must do that in order to be saved.
But Edwards, Owen, Watson, Bunyan, later Calvinists like Ryle, Bonar, and Spurgeon never shied away from calling for immediate repentance and belief of the gospel. You may think they had it wrong in their theology and their explanations of HOW is comes to be that a person gets saved, but you simply cannot make a reasonable case that they were fatalistic. In the predestination they believed in, even at it's strongest, the means were equally predestined with the other events. In other words, even if they believed that Bill was elect from all eternity and would get saved, the fact that George prayed for Bill and went over to his house and invited him to church was also just as ordained. That is different from fatalism.
If you have a church member appeal to you on grounds of fatalism and claims it's "Calvinistic" give them a copy of Owen's "On the Mortification of Sin". For those putting off belief every single Puritan has a sermon with the title of "Heaven Taken By Storm" or "Forcing Your Way into the Kingdom", or something similar. They said YOU better believe, and NOW and that you must improve any conviction or enlightening you experience because not to do so could mean the ruin of your soul and you would be to blame. That doesn't sound like fatalism to me.