I have six children. Five are adopted because I could only have one (a horse kicked me in the stomach when I was 21 and I lost two before I was able to have a live baby -- he's 28 now).
We are SO influenced by the world's standards! It is something I have noticed about myself in so many little, and sometimes weird, ways. "I want...." is so prevalent in all of our hearts.
But the Bible says children are a gift from the Lord, a blessing. Isn't it strange that we all want the blessings of money, comfort, wisdom, and so many other things we consider blessings (some of which may not be!), but we have decided that we will tell God when's enough where the blessing of children is concerned?
Is it up to the wife or husband to make that decision? Isn't it up to God, the author and perfecter of life?
My two youngest are seventeen now (not twins, both adopted). One is profoundly retarded and will be with us as long as he lives -- he had encephalitis when he was 3. But my youngest daughter is making that incredible stretch towards womanhood, and she is doing a wonderful job of sorting out her earlier confusions and rebellions. I'm so proud of her!
Shoot! I've just begun to get the idea of being a Mom! Great pots full of spaghetti and laughter around the table. Boyfriends, girlfriends, grades, and "what's life all about, anyway?"
I know the little ones can be hard. I remember when #1 (6 years old) son was so disgusted with #1 daughter (in a walker at the time) because she was a chronic screamer that he shoved her, walker and all, down the stairs into the family room. She was screaming at the top, screaming at the bottom, and her screams never broke stride.
Today she is a beautiful young woman of 22 who is engaged to be married this coming spring. During her teen years she defied all odds with mother/daughter relationships and we were absolute best friends for a good part of them.
It was a houseful. It was also the one place the neighbor kids could come to play, because their moms all worked and at that time I had decided to homeschool my troops, so I was home. As a result of being friends with so many kids, we ended up being jr. high leaders, and then high school leaders at church. The kids knew us and trusted us. And we really got a kick out of them.
And sometimes we were a refuge -- when one young man lost his dad in an accident, he would come and just sit in our living room without saying a word for an hour or two and then come into the kitchen and say, "Thanks. I'll be going now."
Being a fulltime mom with a big family is not just a blessing for the family, but it is also a blessing to the people around you. In this age of isolated families, not only the kids all have each other, but your friends end up being attracted to you just to talk about the kid stuff they are frustrated with.
And what about the dad? Well, God is in charge of him, too. God knows what you two can handle -- or, rather, what He wants to handle through you. Let Him. His decisions are always much wiser than ours.
The time will come soon enough when the youngest is off to school. And then off to college or work. And the house will be quiet then. You will have all the time you want, and, what is more, you will have the wisdom that goes with that time to share with all the young mothers coming up after you who are so far away from their own extended families, either physically or emotionally.
Hard? Sometimes very. But the view from the top of that mountain can't be beat. And good views are always worth the climb.
Love your husband for all you are worth and let God decide about the kids. He knows what He is doing!
That being said, please bear in mind that there are medical necessities such as Bob's family had to deal with. But I think the Lord makes that pretty obvious, too. And one other medical bit: having babies every year? Try nursing on demand and holding your baby a LOT. You stand a much less chance of conceiving if your 'baby hunger' is already being satisfied.
