Having a opposite-sex Friend if you are Married

[blessedwife318]

I would consider this to be very suspect.

Agreed. We are told to flee temptation not invite it into our car. I think this again shows the importance of having a church behind you so that there are women you can turn to to help in evangelize a women.
Of course the Biblical model is also has it done in pairs which is just common sense especially in this day and age.

 

[blessedwife318]

Deep talks..... Hmm... I have never been alone with her but we did have deep talks.

The only women you should be having deep talks with is your wife.

 

[annsni]

Why in the world would your wife not want to go with you?

I agree with the others - this is a very tricky spot and something you are not to get yourself into. Yes, witness to her - in public. Yes, pray for her - in public. Want to have a deep talk with her? Her husband and your wife should be there as well. If my husband is going to have a "deep talk" with a woman, he asks for me to be there. If for some reason I should not be in the room, he is in his office with the french door propped open while I sit just outside reading. I can't fully hear what is said but I can watch them the whole time. This is to protect my husband. I know he will not do anything but you never know what someone will say he did.

 

[salzer mtn]

Evan could it be you are seeking conversational companionship because there is something lacking in your marriage ?

 

[Rolfe]

Evan- What does your Wife think about all of this? No need to answer. Just worth thinking about.

 

[SovereignGrace]

Solid advice given freely to you...

 

[evangelist6589]

Perhaps so perhaps so.

 

[evangelist6589]

I agree.



Evan, I've read enough of your threads here and everywhere else and just want to cut to the point. We all realize your zeal for the lost, that is great. But, I think you need to steer clear of trying to personally evangelize this particular co-worker. Pray for her, pray for her husband, live out your holy calling at work day to day and be a witness to her and other co-workers in that way. I say this because I get the sense that you are probably not mature enough to handle this situation if it doesn't go the way that you expect. I also get the sense that your still looking for something yourself. You seek it here in online communities, yet get upset when someone disagrees with you. Christ is enough, let him be sufficient. He has given you a wife and a step-son, focus your efforts on them, cultivate your relationships there (you've only been married for a couple years right?) This whole scenario has trainwreck written all over it IMO. Stay away, take care of business at home.

The gal agrees as well and we are just gonna stick to business related communication.

 

[evangelist6589]

Agreed. We are told to flee temptation not invite it into our car. I think this again shows the importance of having a church behind you so that there are women you can turn to to help in evangelize a women.
Of course the Biblical model is also has it done in pairs which is just common sense especially in this day and age.

How can one evangelize another while at work with a pair?

 

[evangelist6589]

The only women you should be having deep talks with is your wife.

Yes this was my mistake.

 

[blessedwife318]

How can one evangelize another while at work with a pair?

Are you arguing against this Biblical model? How did Jesus send out the 12 and the 70? How did the early church send out missionaries?
Are you going to argue for situational ethics?
Also are you going to rob from your employer the time that you owe him?

 

[SovereignGrace]

How can one evangelize another while at work with a pair?

Look, I am not being snarky nor anti-evangelical by saying this, but at work, you need to discuss only work. Be friendly and cordial with her. Be always polite and always speak with her in a public setting among other co-workers.

Invite her and her boyfriend/husband out to dinner with you and your wife. But leave the work setting to work related topics is the best policy in my opinion.

It's in this setting of dinner where you and your wife can speak with them about the welfare of their souls.

 

[SovereignGrace]

Are you arguing against this Biblical model? How did Jesus send out the 12 and the 70? How did the early church send out missionaries?
Are you going to argue for situational ethics?
Also are you going to rob from your employer the time that you owe him?

Wonderful post.

 

[evangelist6589]

Look, I am not being snarky nor anti-evangelical by saying this, but at work, you need to discuss only work. Be friendly and cordial with her. Be always polite and always speak with her in a public setting among other co-workers.



Invite her and her boyfriend/husband out to dinner with you and your wife. But leave the work setting to work related topics is the best policy in my opinion.



It's in this setting of dinner where you and your wife can speak with them about the welfare of their souls.

So never in all your working career have you never had a non work related discussion at work?

 

[SovereignGrace]

So never in all your working career have you never had a non work related discussion at work?

I never said I didn't. However, you must always proceed with caution. If this lady gets offended at you while you're at work, she could go to your boss and get you fired. Politics and religion are two topics one must wade through very daintily.

If you do this at dinner, she can get up and leave. It keeps the possibility of you getting fired off the table.

 

[evangelist6589]

I never said I didn't. However, you must always proceed with caution. If this lady gets offended at you while you're at work, she could go to your boss and get you fired. Politics and religion are two topics one must wade through very daintily.



If you do this at dinner, she can get up and leave. It keeps the possibility of you getting fired off the table.

Dinner is not an option so what know?

 

[evangelist6589]

I never said I didn't. However, you must always proceed with caution. If this lady gets offended at you while you're at work, she could go to your boss and get you fired. Politics and religion are two topics one must wade through very daintily.



If you do this at dinner, she can get up and leave. It keeps the possibility of you getting fired off the table.

Well she did not get offended when I witnessed.

 

[SovereignGrace]

Dinner is not an option so what know?

Do you know what are her and her companion's(is it her husband or boyfriend?) interests and/or hobbies?

Find out these and maybe work from there.

 

[SovereignGrace]

Well she did not get offended when I witnessed.

Well, that's definitely not a bad thing.

 

[blessedwife318]

I never said I didn't. However, you must always proceed with caution. If this lady gets offended at you while you're at work, she could go to your boss and get you fired. Politics and religion are two topics one must wade through very daintily.

If you do this at dinner, she can get up and leave. It keeps the possibility of you getting fired off the table.

Not to mention that it is a bad testimony to your boss if you are using his time to do nonwork stuff. The Bible is clear on how we should act as employees.