Heretic hunters

[rsr]

As a connoisseur of TBN and its ilk, I am very impressed with Paula White, whom I think may be the next Benny Hinn. She's telegenic and hypnotic (repetiton — she can take 5 minutes of material and stretch it to a half hour — and finger snapping.)

Mike, if you're tuned in, I have a question. Every once is a while, the WoF folks break into a language that isn't English. Is this supposed to be a biblical language or speaking in tongues?

[ April 04, 2003, 03:59 AM: Message edited by: rsr ]

 

[blackbird]

rsr! This may come as a shock to ya, brother--so please sit down in your chair there--but--

I'd still rather watch the WWF--At least I know that that ain't fake! I'm tellin' ya! The WWF is real--compared to the TBN--and ole Hulk ain't never asked us "Hulksters" for not one Lincoln penny--meanwhile--over on the TBN--Ole Crouch don't want your pennies--but if you turn your back--he'll take your Lincoln, and your Suburu, and your SAAB, and your Volvo and your Mercedes, and your yacht that's tied up at the harbor!!

Blackbird

 

[Pete]

Originally posted by rsr:
No, Pete, pledge time is when they pour on the high-octane stuff. That's when you can pop in and find the most egregious examples.

Wow! You mean even worse than normal?? I never imagined such a thing could ne possible...I guess I just don't get out much

Frame it, huh? Are you starting your own TV ministry?

Yep. I reckon I could really rake in the $$$ doing it too.

I even came up with my own little idea for a "Whizz-Bang God Is Doing Something New And Way Out That No One Else Ever Thought Of" manifestation.

Basically I plant the audience with a few actors to get the anointing flowing. When I give the signal, they run around the auditorium making "CHUG CHUG CHOO CHOO WOOO WOOO" noises. Before you know it the whole arena is running around making "CHUG CHUG CHOO CHOO WOOO WOOO" noises. I call this anointing "TRAIN IN THE SPIRIT!"

I even have solid Biblical support for these manifestations (just in case anyone ever asks...)

(Psalms 68:18 NIV) When you ascended on high, you led captives in your train; you received gifts from men, even from the rebellious-- that you, O LORD God, might dwell there.

See, God leads out captives in His train! Gimme a "WOOO WOOO" brother.

(Proverbs 22:6 NIV) Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Is there anything that God can't do in us through this anointing. TRAIN a child. Hallelujah! CHUGGA CHUGGA!

(1 Timothy 4:7 NIV) Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.

See, it is right there, "..train yourself to be godly." CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO

Move over RHB, here I come!

Pete

 

[Mike McK]

Originally posted by rsr:
Mike, if you're tuned in, I have a question. Every once is a while, the WoF folks break into a language that isn't English. Is this supposed to be a biblical language or speaking in tongues?

"Shondalashondalateamusallanedomoorigatomrrobotofarfignugenplacidopolanco"

Yes. That's tongues. Translatation: "God said send me your social security check".

 

[rsr]

Thanks, Mike. That's what I thought. I once heard extended speaking live, but the snippets inserted into ordinary English had me puzzled.

Pete, would you be the Grand Caboose of the movement?

"In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. Isaiah 6:1"

 

[Pete]

rsr, I think God has appointed me as guard or conductor to protect this move from any heretic hunters who might disagree with it

I know I know, I'm a rat

Pete

 

[rsr]

I'm back, with another bit of mischief.

I heard Paul Crouch asking for donations to put his satellite equipment all across Russia — as if they haven'te suffered enough. He'd received a word, you know, and asked for contributions.

I called the number.

"Your account has been restricted. A payment is required at this point."

Apparently, if they can't get you, they still get you.

 

[atestring]

Originally posted by Mike McK:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rsr:
Mike, if you're tuned in, I have a question. Every once is a while, the WoF folks break into a language that isn't English. Is this supposed to be a biblical language or speaking in tongues?

"Shondalashondalateamusallanedomoorigatomrrobotofarfignugenplacidopolanco"

Yes. That's tongues. Translatation: "God said send me your social security check". </font>[/QUOTE]Blaspheme if you want to, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when you stand before God and give an account for every idle word!

 

[dpenguin]

Idle words - that's a whole other topic. As is tongues.

I think maybe I should keep my fingers still...

 

[Mike McK]

Originally posted by atestring:
Blaspheme if you want to,

That's not blasphemy.

I wasn't mocking God or even tongues. In fact, if you read my posts on tongues, you'll find that I'm one of the few defenders of tongues here.

We were talking specifically about the WoF cult and I was mocking the WoF's gospel of greed and their abuse of tongues. That's not blasphemy.

I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when you stand before God and give an account for every idle word!

You won't have to.

 

[dianetavegia]

I was flipping through channels and one of those WOF 'preacher's' said he hated waiting in line at Burger King so he just started speaking in tongues and people ran 'ever which way'....

I need to figure out how to block those channels off my satellite dish.....

 

[jonmagee]

Originally posted by atestring:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by 3AngelsMom:
Don't know where everyone is on this thread, but wanted to put my 2 cents worth in.

A friend of mine who is of the Brethren in the United Pentecostal Church in Indiana wrote me to tell me a very sad story.

She told me that a few weeks earlier her SISTER had taken their little boy to see Benny Hinn and see if he could heal him.

He had a very rare case of leukemia and was told that he could survive if he was treated with a very rigorous schedule of treatments and possible bone marrow transplantation.

When they went to Benny Hinn he told them that their son IS healed and not to take him to the doctor anymore. He said that he did not need cancer treatments anymore because he IS healed.

3 weeks later my friends nephew died.

The parents went back to see Benny Hinn and told him of their son's tragic death.

His response sickens me.

He said "Your son died because of your lack of faith"

Benny Hinn IS NOT an instrument of God. He is a demonic controlled, money grubbing, evil, false, perverse man, that has misled and used probably millions of people.

He is a virus.

God Bless

You have made some very serious accusations.

Can you prove this story? </font>[/QUOTE]I dont know any thing about this Benny Hinn you all seem to spend so much time talking about, but I see someone who appears to be hurting about some one she knows.

Is the best response we can give is prove their was a funeral/a boy who was ill/ a man who does not have the power of God,or prove anything else?

yours, Jon.

 

[jonmagee]

Originally posted by Mike McK:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by atestring:
Blaspheme if you want to,

That's not blasphemy.

I wasn't mocking God or even tongues. In fact, if you read my posts on tongues, you'll find that I'm one of the few defenders of tongues here.

We were talking specifically about the WoF cult and I was mocking the WoF's gospel of greed and their abuse of tongues. That's not blasphemy.

</font>[/QUOTE]Thats possibly true, but I can see how a charismatic would feel that it is offensive without any proper debate to go with it.

yours, Jon.

 

[Mike McK]

Originally posted by jonmagee:
Thats possibly true, but I can see how a charismatic would feel that it is offensive without any proper debate to go with it.

yours, Jon.

John, your average charismatic is as offended by the WoF cult as anyone. I attended a charismatic church for years and was active in charismatic circles. Charismatics know what tongues is and isn't. What I said in regard to tongues in my previous post is no less than what you'd hear joked about in many charismatic churces.

 

[jonmagee]

Originally posted by Mike McK:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by jonmagee:
Thats possibly true, but I can see how a charismatic would feel that it is offensive without any proper debate to go with it.

yours, Jon.

John, your average charismatic is as offended by the WoF cult as anyone. I attended a charismatic church for years and was active in charismatic circles. Charismatics know what tongues is and isn't. What I said in regard to tongues in my previous post is no less than what you'd hear joked about in many charismatic churces. </font>[/QUOTE]-----------------------------------------------

I wont comment on your friends/past friends. However, at the moment we are seeking to share Gods love with people on this board and one of them appears offended. What is the appropriate response to a brother who has been hurt, whether by accident or intentionally?

yours, Jon.

 

[Mike McK]

I wont comment on your friends/past friends.

Thank you. I won't comment on yours, either. What do my friends have to do with anything?

However, at the moment we are seeking to share Gods love with people on this board and one of them appears offended.

Actually what he said was that I had blaspemed God, which I haven't and then judged me by saying he would hate to be me on judgement day.

The only thing I saw in his post was that he was judging me unfairly and that he misunderstood my post. If he's truly offended, then I would be the first to apologize. The problem is that he appears to be reacting to what he thinks I said, rather than what I actually said, so I have a hard time finding a reason to apologize when his "offence" is based on his own misunderstanding, rather than anything I did.

 

[blackbird]

I wouldn't give you two cents to listen to Benny--he's religious broadcastings version of the WWF!!However, there are thousands who would knock Blackbird down to get to Benny just to hear what the "Lord might say" next! The only thing we can do with those folks who flock to a blabber--is to pray for their "itchin' ears" to be healed and for their blinded eyes to be opened!

On the other hand--there are thousands of Charismatics out there who are not fallin' for Benny and company--thousands of Charismatics out there who love the Lord Jesus Christ with all their hearts, souls, and bodies who know the truth about healing and miracles and tongues and those things---they hold "Plum Bob" Jesus up next to heritical preaching and are Bereans in every sense---not all of um lean on benny---in fact--Benny may be minority to the majority of Charismatics.

Blackbird

 

[Dan Todd]

Benny is probably almost as good entertainment value as the WWF.

How about Earnest Angley - you'd think if he has the gift - he'd heal his head so he didn't have to wear those awful toupees!!!

 

[Pete]

Dan, but a lot of the 80's WWF characters (back when I used to watch it) were better theologians than ol' Benny...

Pete

 

[Dan Todd]

Pete,

I reckon that you've got a valid point!!!

Dan