Hey men, lookie here!

I know I am going to get booed out of the Board and if I was in Congress Nancy Pelosi would make me resign... but from what I have observed in 4 different churches living in 4 different cities (incidently 1 SBC, 1 IFB, 1 BGC and 1 GARBC) there are very very very few submissive wives. There are a lot of women who make a show of submission, but they are submissive in the areas they want to be submissive in. Also I often hear women say, "if my husband would love as Christ loved the church, then I would be submissive". I guess I wasn't aware one was suppose to be conditional on the other. On a rabbit trail, but somewhat related I saw an article in Guidepost about Kurt and Brenda Warner and how their marriage is so good. There was a similiar thread somewhere on here too. In both cases, (the thread and with Brenda Warner) it was the second marriage. They might be happy marriages, but they go against Biblical teaching. Don't shoot the messanger here, I didn't write the Bible, and if my wife left me, I would probably want to remarry. It just isn't Biblical and I think it is especially wrong for Christians who have violated the principle of divorce and remarriage to we talking about how great it is. I am absolutely sure in both cases the second is better for her, but talking about just encourages other to think that if their marriage is on the rocks, it is best to walk away and next time a better spouse will come along.
OK, so hopefully I won't be lynched for my opinions.

 

It was probably me you were thinking of, Mark. My husband of 20 years was unfaithful with a variety of women for something like 18 of those years. He left with one of them in 1991. I refused to file for divorce and asked him not to, but please go to counseling. He went once and quit. He never kept up with any of the children and they are still suffering for that as young adults.

I did not speak to another man in any kind of a situation that was even remotely questionable for about seven years (nothing magic about 7, that's just the way it was.) Meanwhile my ex got married within weeks of the divorce being final.

Barry and I wrestled with the idea of remarriage and really dug into Bible, willing to go either way. It was counselling from several pastors (Not just one) we really respected as well as from my own brother, who is an elder, which made the difference.

In confirmation of that, God has totally blessed our marriage, our partnership, and even my husband's professional work.

I didn't want anyone to think it was a casual divorce and remarriage! Nothing could be farther from the truth. My ex left in 1991. Barry contacted me about his work (I am an editor) in 1998. A friendship was slow to build, but did. I did not even see him for the first time until I was in Australia to see several authors I worked with at the time. That was April/May of 1999. He and I were married in October of 2000. He was 58 and I 52 at the time. The picture of me you see here was taken on that day.

My children finally have someone they respect and admire and like who also thinks the world of them -- even though the youngest two are 18 now.

Now, about the rest of your post: I agree completely. There are extremely few women who are submissive as a gift of the heart to their husbands. And when you do see it with two Christian people, you will see one of the world's most beautiful marriages.

 

Hmm... Likewise, I see that there are few husbands that love their wives, even though the Bible tells them to do just that. There are plenty of husbands that make a show of love, but love their wives only in certain ways, not in a covanental way. To the arguemtn is valid, imo.

Bottom line is, both spouses must submit to each other, and both must love each other. It's a covanent. Now, before you say, 'it doesn't tell a husband to submit to his wife', remember that, in the same verse, it doesn't tell the wife to love the husband. But Jesus tells us to do unto others as we would have them do to us. If you want your wife to submit to you, submit to her. If you want your wife to love you, love her. If the husband is supposed to instruct his wife in matters of Godliness (and submission is godliness), then he caninstruct her on submission by being a Godly example of it.