How do you handle annoying people at church?

Right from Wrong,

The reason I thought he was talking to you was because of that remark he made about "irony". I'm actually not sure who he meant. lol

But I do appreciate your words.

 

Thanks TexasSky, my understanding was I was trying to get YOU to see that you were gossiping in the first place, but I was too afraid to say that upfront. I guess that is what he meant. Sounded like he misunderstood. Its ok, I like what Scarlet said too.

 

Andy T,

I was not gossiping.

1) I had absolutely no malicious intentions to harm another person.
2) The facts are the facts.
3) There are no "secrets" about any of this. What was said in that Sunday School and in that meeting are well known to everyone who was there that day.
3) I did not give details about the person involved.
4) I didn't spread some rumor about a supposed sin in a person's life. I asked how I should deal with the situation.
5) I seriously doubt they would care if they read this. They just are not the kind of people who DO care about such things. Hence the problem.

Now - that said - apparently you would prefer that I do the very things that Scarlett said I avoid doing, and just let it fester and frustrate.

I was under the impression that part of a Christian's responsiblity was to help other Christians find ways to deal with this kind of thing in a loving and uplifting manner.

I find it intersting that you prefer to try to shoot me for asking for help.

For the record - this situation is so bad that people actually DID bring some situations up with church administration. Or, more accurately, church adminsitration brought it up with some of the church. They wanted to know why some of our previously active outreaches were suddenly dead in the water and why some of our more helpful members refused to participate on certain committees. They were more or less stunned by the answer, prayed about it, and then told people that because of their roles as deacons and pastors they could not do anything because - even though it was clearly a church issue - the couple never technically does anything "unbiblical", and they didn't have biblical grounds to discuss with them.

In the purest sense, I agree with the deacons and the church staff. It is not a sin to say, "I'll help you not be an old maid." Its poor judgement, bad taste, and considering not a single person in the room qualified as an old-maid - just wrong. But - you can't open up Exodus and find, "Thou shalt not be carelessly rude to thy class," in it. I took the cowards way out, and changed classes. Other people just stopped attending sunday school, two people actually left the church, and when I called them later, they cited this as the reason.

ALSO - we don't want to hurt this couple. None of us, even those who are highly offended by them want to hurt them. They mean well.

It is like the great-aunt every family has, that is a master of the putting her foot in her mouth without ever knowning she does.

Frankly though - I'm at the point where I would rather drop out of 90% of my church activities than deal with this person. I haven't, because I figure this person is my "thorn in the side" and that the work matters more. I am, however, in the minority. A lot of people are going, "No way I'll serve on a committee with them," and just quit.

 

Andy T.

I had the opportunity of seeing someone once tell this couple that they needed to choose their words more carefully. Their reaction was that God gives them their words, ergo the person was wrong.

Beyond that - They would never recognize themselves. Even with direct quotes from them, they would never recognize themselves. That is a large part of the problem. They don't think about what they are saying, and so, not thinking about it, they don't even remember it 1/2 the time.

 

Wally,

I love your approach!