I have wrestled with the "Stanley" issue for some time.
Generally, I come down that he needed to step down.
The Scriptures are clearly on that side.
That the assembly made such a decision is to me a problem. Stanley should never have given them the opportunity - too much emotionalism and opinion driven decision making to afford the best decission.
Disconnect,
You and I both know that marriage problems (especially those such as Stanley) did not occur over night.
Here is what I would probably have encouraged the assembly to do (they could financially afford to follow my advice).
1) Place Stanley in a paid administrative position.
2) Pay for a home far away from the assembly in which the two could retreat and repair. They would be required to regularly attend a local assembly.
3) Require a certain level of commitment that both would pursue Scriptural grounds to be reconciled. I would also have, periodically, some written documentation from them as to the issues and progress of resolution.
4) At no time would I allow ANYONE from the assembly to contact them. I want no "tale bearing" and no "personal interest" interference from "well intentioned" folks.
5) If and only if after a complete reconciliation, both to each other and to God, I would then bring them back to the assembly. They would present themselves for examination, and then, provided the assembly was satisfied with the answers, he and his wife would be charged to find another place in which to lead and serve - again, far away from the original local assembly.
I wouldn't expect the length of time to be less than a year or two.
Now I know you have had your own thinking on the matter, and am interested in what ways you might have handled the situation.
At any rate, who am I to judge another assembly in this matter, I just grieve that the man has met with such trouble.
Only the Lord knows what really happened, but IF His wife was not willing to work it out, and wasdetermined to leave and divorce, that is scriptutrally divorce, and he would be freed from having to step down on a permanent nature, should have been on a leave though for couseling purposes...
IF she did not agree to conseling, nor to reconcialation, then wasn't he freed from divorce stigma as a Pastor?
he never remarroed correct, so he sees himself in sight of the lord still married to her?