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How should I deal with this? Facebook/Christian etiquette

annsni

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
So there's a woman who I know from a Christian women's board and I've always liked her. However, her son came out a few months ago and she's had what I'd call a "crisis of beliefs". So when life and beliefs collided in her life (that's actually the title of a good book I read during the summer "When Life and Beliefs Collide"), she's decided that homosexuality is wonderful and God loves homosexuality. Now she's posting a ton of very liberal Christian stuff on her facebook, posting how people who say homosexuality is wrong have the blood of the gays who commit suicide on their hands (even told me directly that I have blood on my hands because I say it's wrong according to the Bible) and has made her profile pic some gay saying.

So now I'm at a crossroads. Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? Do I just leave it be and stay silent or do I go ahead and post what I really want to say??? I feel badly unfriending her but honestly, I think that might be best. What would you do??
 

DHK

<b>Moderator</b>
So now I'm at a crossroads. Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? Do I just leave it be and stay silent or do I go ahead and post what I really want to say??? I feel badly unfriending her but honestly, I think that might be best. What would you do??
I would unfriend a person like that. That is just my opinion.
Barring that, there is an edit function on facebook. I edit those posts that show up with offensive remarks; that is I delete them completely. No one can see them. They could even be undeleted, but I wouldn't do that. That is an option if you didn't want to totally unfriend the person.
 

mcdirector

Active Member
oh my goodness.

Since you've already talked with her, I think you could just defriend her. You could certainly let her know one more time that what she's saying is offensive. It seems from what you've said that you've already given her a season to repent - reminding her of the truth. I would find it too frustrating to keep reading her garbage. You could message her periodically to remind her that you are praying for her. She may need someone sound to turn to one day.
 

jaigner

Active Member
It seems like she's the kind of person with whom you shouldn't break the relationship. Sure, those things are offensive, but I don't understand why Christians seem to believe that not being offended is one of their chief rights. It's simply not.

So anyway, she's going through a very difficult struggle and these issues have now hit home. You may be the kind of person she needs in her life. If the things she says bother you, approach it with an attitude of grace and understanding.
 

Dr. Walter

New Member
Ann,

This is a situation that only you can ultimately determine to break or endure.

I imagine you have attempted to show the logical flaw in her accusation. She is actually denying the right of God to condemn ANYTHING as sin because it might result in guilt which would drive a person to suicide. Homosexulality is not the only sin God condemns. Suicide is not restricted to homosexuals. Judas committed suicide over his guilt. She is actually denying that any sinner should feel guilty or any sin should be condemned by anyone because they might commit suicide due to guilt. In order to be consistent with her argument she must ultimately deny the existence of God, God's right to determine right from wrong and God's right to condemn and ultimately His right to judge anyone to be GUILTY of sin.

So there's a woman who I know from a Christian women's board and I've always liked her. However, her son came out a few months ago and she's had what I'd call a "crisis of beliefs". So when life and beliefs collided in her life (that's actually the title of a good book I read during the summer "When Life and Beliefs Collide"), she's decided that homosexuality is wonderful and God loves homosexuality. Now she's posting a ton of very liberal Christian stuff on her facebook, posting how people who say homosexuality is wrong have the blood of the gays who commit suicide on their hands (even told me directly that I have blood on my hands because I say it's wrong according to the Bible) and has made her profile pic some gay saying.

So now I'm at a crossroads. Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? Do I just leave it be and stay silent or do I go ahead and post what I really want to say??? I feel badly unfriending her but honestly, I think that might be best. What would you do??
 

webdog

Active Member
Site Supporter
So there's a woman who I know from a Christian women's board and I've always liked her. However, her son came out a few months ago and she's had what I'd call a "crisis of beliefs". So when life and beliefs collided in her life (that's actually the title of a good book I read during the summer "When Life and Beliefs Collide"), she's decided that homosexuality is wonderful and God loves homosexuality. Now she's posting a ton of very liberal Christian stuff on her facebook, posting how people who say homosexuality is wrong have the blood of the gays who commit suicide on their hands (even told me directly that I have blood on my hands because I say it's wrong according to the Bible) and has made her profile pic some gay saying.

So now I'm at a crossroads. Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? Do I just leave it be and stay silent or do I go ahead and post what I really want to say??? I feel badly unfriending her but honestly, I think that might be best. What would you do??
Well, WWJD? :) He was friends with far worse when He walked the earth.

You can send her a pm telling her your concerns. Focus on circumstances don't shape truth, truth is truth regardless.

You can also now hide her posts so they do not show up in your feed. Click on the arrow in the upper right corner of the person in your feed. Click "unsubscribe from status updates from __________"
 

annsni

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Thanks guys. Web - I did just that because I find getting 5-8 posts in a day accusing Christians of being hateful just gets old but I will stay online friends with her. She hasn't posted at the board we're both on in quite some time and I really think she will leave that community because it's very clear that the overwhelming understanding of Scripture there is that homosexuality is a sin. I'll just keep praying for her. :)
 

Jeremiah2911

Member
Site Supporter
So there's a woman who I know from a Christian women's board and I've always liked her. However, her son came out a few months ago and she's had what I'd call a "crisis of beliefs". So when life and beliefs collided in her life (that's actually the title of a good book I read during the summer "When Life and Beliefs Collide"), she's decided that homosexuality is wonderful and God loves homosexuality. Now she's posting a ton of very liberal Christian stuff on her facebook, posting how people who say homosexuality is wrong have the blood of the gays who commit suicide on their hands (even told me directly that I have blood on my hands because I say it's wrong according to the Bible) and has made her profile pic some gay saying.

So now I'm at a crossroads. Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? Do I just leave it be and stay silent or do I go ahead and post what I really want to say??? I feel badly unfriending her but honestly, I think that might be best. What would you do??

We have a young woman [19] in our Bible study group who has an uncle who she loves very much that is a homosexual [she loves him, not the sin] and she asked what she should do about the situation. Now we know he isn't saved nor claims to be, so the best advise I could give was for her to continue to love him [not the sin], that she shouldn't break the thread of their relationship because God may very well use her to bring him to Christ someday. He very well knows how she feels about the situation, and one day he may open up and ask her for her opinion and that is when the Holy Spirit will give her the words--that is what we are praying for; however, in your situation, you have a woman who professes Christianity and now she's had an "epiphany" about something that is an abomination in the Word of God. This Scripture comes to my mind concerning situations like that:

Romans 16:17-18 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. 18 For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.


She is simply trying to make this situation fit because it applies to her own son [serve their own belly]. As a minister, I was asked what would I do if I had a homosexual couple come to Church. My reply is to ask "Why are you here"? If they are truly seeking God, then GREAT! If they are seeking Christian approval--the above Scripture applies.....Just my opinion btw, but I would have to defriend her. God bless
 

plain_n_simple

Active Member
Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? QUOTE]

Love her. Realize her value to God that she is worth every drop of His blood. I'm glad Jesus never gave up on me. "Love never takes offense.." We are called to love. Love is not bitter or impatient. Exhort in love. You have an awesome opportunity.
 

annsni

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Do I PM her and tell her that I need to unfriend her because this stuff is very offensive to me and that I cannot see this stuff anymore? QUOTE]

Love her. Realize her value to God that she is worth every drop of His blood. I'm glad Jesus never gave up on me. "Love never takes offense.." We are called to love. Love is not bitter or impatient. Exhort in love. You have an awesome opportunity.

I agree but she claims to be a sister in Christ and she is now denying that the Bible is authoritative. She is going down a bad road and she refuses to listen and even said I have blood on my hands for saying homosexuality is wrong. The Bible tells us to confront and if they don't listen to leave them. I don't want to read much of what she writes because I find it offensive and I don't think I need to read that all the time. So I have limited what I see of her feeds. I've not unfriended her at this time though.
 

plain_n_simple

Active Member
If you are offended and don't have the patience you're right, you may not be ready to help her. Might be best to leave it lay.
 
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