How to counsel someone in severe grief?

[annsni]

I put this in debate although I don't expect debate on this - but I didn't think "fellowship" was the right place either.

How do you counsel someone who is in severe grief - when it's really beyond what is normal? In this case a congregant lost her father in the summer and she's literally not able to function. She's still answering "How are you?" with "Not well." Her father died of cancer and he was in his 80s so it's not like he died young. I'm such a bad person with this because I just don't have those kinds of long-lingering, overwhelming feelings. I kind of want to say "Get over it" but I know that's not right!!

So how would you counsel someone like this?????

 

[preacher4truth]

I'd start by not asking her how shes doing and just say good morning or whatever.

I also wouldn't seek to counsel unless requested.

 

[annsni]

I'd start by not asking her how shes doing and just say good morning or whatever.

I also wouldn't seek to counsel unless requested.

It's been requested.

SIGH

 

[preacher4truth]

It's been requested.

SIGH

Uggggh. Try 'get over it' then. Could be there is something there between them that didn't have closure.

 

[Herald]

Ann,

It is hard to offer advice when there is so much we don't know about the situation. Was she close to her father? Sometimes there is unresolved guilt when a parent and child were not close. Does the lady have other relationship problems that would make the loss of her father especially traumatic? Was her father a believer? If not, that could add to the extreme grief over his passing. Like I said, so many variables to consider. Has she sought out pastoral counseling over her grief?

 

[annsni]

She was very close to her dad and he was a believer. She has some extreme emotions and this is another example. Hubby and have been counseling her and she takes one step forward and two back. I'm thinking of asking another woman at church to take over her counseling because I just don't know what else to do for her!