how to help people?

[corndogggy]

To be honest, I can't figure out how to help people nowadays. A list of things I'm struggling with:


1. I used to donate to the church quite a bit until they started being sloppy with money, building parking lots, buying houses they have no idea what they're going to do with, what I consider insurance fraud, figuring out that part time employees made more than my wife, figuring out the preacher made more than I did after working two professional jobs plus he didn't have a house payment, then they're up there wanting more money, etc. The money simply wasn't being used to help people.

2. Used to donate to Toys for Tots thinking how could this be fraudulent, until the local head of it got arrested for massive fraud. Plus I firmly believe this largely helps the toy retailers more than anybody.

3. Nobody really asks.

4. I've donated to the United Way for quite a while, but a coworker did some research and found that charities they benefit literally had only a 10% rate of return in terms of what is being used to help, the rest is overhead and salaries.

5. Used to donate ALOT to Goodwill, thinking I'm helping the poor. But, look in the parking lot sometimes, it's not poor peple, it's middle class people who buy stuff up and eBay it for profit. There are some NICE cars that are always at Goodwill. they buy your donated nice shirts for $3 then put them on ebay at a markup to other middle class people looking for a deal. It helps a few partially disabled or mildly retarded employees, that's about it.

6. Tried to be a mentor for troubled neighborhood kids, problem is, to keep them coming around you have to be on their level, which apparently means letting them bum cigarettes, acting like I'm an idiot 17 year old on a four wheeler again, etc. Hard to be upstanding while still attracting people who need help.

7. If anybody truly needs help, they can get it. Need help heating your house? Ask the power company, you'll get it. Need food? You're an idiot if you can't get any.

8. There aren't really any homeless people anywhere around here that you can easily find, they all go live together out in the woods and stuff, you can't find any like you can in a big city. Plus the ones that are there are more or less permanent, as if it is a lifestyle choice. There are shelters who will take you if you are not on drugs and not cohabitating out of wedlock, I guess donating to them wouldn't be a bad idea.



So, my question is, what do YOU do that truly helps people? I'm just at a loss to be honest.

 

[padredurand]

To be honest, I can't figure out how to help people nowadays. A list of things I'm struggling with:


1. I used to donate to the church quite a bit until they started being sloppy with money, building parking lots, buying houses they have no idea what they're going to do with, what I consider insurance fraud, figuring out that part time employees made more than my wife, figuring out the preacher made more than I did after working two professional jobs plus he didn't have a house payment, then they're up there wanting more money, etc. The money simply wasn't being used to help people.

2. Used to donate to Toys for Tots thinking how could this be fraudulent, until the local head of it got arrested for massive fraud. Plus I firmly believe this largely helps the toy retailers more than anybody.

3. Nobody really asks.

4. I've donated to the United Way for quite a while, but a coworker did some research and found that charities they benefit literally had only a 10% rate of return in terms of what is being used to help, the rest is overhead and salaries.

5. Used to donate ALOT to Goodwill, thinking I'm helping the poor. But, look in the parking lot sometimes, it's not poor peple, it's middle class people who buy stuff up and eBay it for profit. There are some NICE cars that are always at Goodwill. they buy your donated nice shirts for $3 then put them on ebay at a markup to other middle class people looking for a deal. It helps a few partially disabled or mildly retarded employees, that's about it.

6. Tried to be a mentor for troubled neighborhood kids, problem is, to keep them coming around you have to be on their level, which apparently means letting them bum cigarettes, acting like I'm an idiot 17 year old on a four wheeler again, etc. Hard to be upstanding while still attracting people who need help.

7. If anybody truly needs help, they can get it. Need help heating your house? Ask the power company, you'll get it. Need food? You're an idiot if you can't get any.



So, my question is, what do YOU do that truly helps people? I'm just at a loss to be honest.

We've got a feller in the church undergoing chemo and radiation treatment. His insurance covers his treatments but it's an hour from his house to the hospital and an hour back. That's a lot of gasoline every day for weeks at a time. We pass the hat and get him gas cards for the station down the road from his house. He says it helps a lot.

 

[corndogggy]

Speaking of insurance, there's an opportunity to help a woman who mooched off me for years, so I'm hesitant due to that, but it's even worse. She moved into the house of someone who was in the nursing home since she could mooch off of them and get the house for free. Except, she burned the thing down. She did fun stuff like have three iPhones instead of paying for home insurance. When it burned down, she just moved in with her boyfriend. Now there is a GoFundMe pot being passed around as if I'm supposed to contribute, you know, to her.

However, knowing what I know, had she been more responsible, she'd be sitting pretty instead of losing tons of belongings. What's worse, that house was the only thing that the person in the nursing home had. Money was running short and a fat insurance payment for the house and belongings would have set him up for a very long time. Instead, he lost everything, and hopefully the state will pay for his stay.

So anyway, why am I supposed to feel the need to help people like this? Pay for insurance like everybody else has to. Help is one thing, but there comes a point where I feel that it promotes poor life choices more than help.

 

[HAMel]

corndoggy..., I am extremely conservative when it comes to giving. To my church..., no problem. To bible tract inc., no problem along with various christian efforts.

A few month ago I received a phone call from Atlanta (a large Baptist Church) asking if I'd like to receive their monthly magazine..., absolutely "free". Okay, I said. Since, it's been nothing but beg money and how I will miss out on the blessing of eternity should I not give.

The problem with giving is that once you give..., they will hound you for years. My mother, who passed away in 2000 at 82 years old is still receiving beg letters. She would now be 97? They never quit.

 

[annsni]

I would give to Samaritan's Purse and/or Compassion.

How about your local crisis pregnancy center?

We have an amazing AMAZING ministry here that I can recommend if you want to donate to them. Hands down, they do it right. It's a ministry that feeds 3500 people a week here on Long Island, has mentoring ministries to the young men in a tough community, a kids' club on Saturdays - and they have been robbed numerous times and the pastor who runs it has been shot at. We know the pastor personally and I can safely say that it is an incredible ministry. It's not local to you but if you want their info, I can pass it on. Otherwise, find something like this near you.

Buy socks for the homeless. No matter what got them to where they are, they are needy and socks won't be buying liquor or drugs if that is a fear someone has. SO many don't have good socks and that would be a great ministry to them.

I also personally know of a missions organization that was recently started by our missions pastor who left our staff to start this ministry. He does it right and your donations can help out in areas that are needing ministry but not handouts. Again, if you want their info, I can pass it on.

Sometimes we need to do our homework to find a good place to give the money. Even just giving to St. Jude's would be great - an incredible hospital that charges families nothing to work to try to save their children.

I also agree with the idea of helping someone going through medical treatment. My daughter had a pancreatic tumor and was deathly ill for a month. It cost me $2000 just to drive from our home to her hospital in the city, park and have one meal for lunch/dinner and have a muffin and coffee in the morning. It left us tight on money for a while and now when people ask how they can help someone going through a rough time, I always mention a little cash in a card. It seems crude but let me tell you, it's not.

 

[Thousand Hills]

In my early days on BB I was very critical of "big" tipping, and that is something I've changed my perspective on in my time here. Just take your family out for a meal and leave a generous tip, trusting that God will lead the right server to your table that needs it at that time.

BTW thanks for posting this, we need more threads like this one, gives us all good ideas on how to be better stewards, more effective, etc...

 

[kyredneck]

As far as 'giving alms', the Salvation Army is as good as place as any, IMO.

what does the salvation army do

I know from personal testimonies from others the great good these people have done. I give to the Salvation Army with no reservations at all.

 

[JonC]

As far as 'giving alms', the Salvation Army is as good as place as any, IMO.

what does the salvation army do

I know from personal testimonies from others the great good these people have done. I give to the Salvation Army with no reservations at all.

I understand the church’s charity and what it does to meet the needs of others. But most of the people who give are from other denominations (I don't see anyone from their citadels/temples except around Christmas). I really don’t know much about the church (only enough to know I do reject some of their doctrine). Do you know much about what they teach and observe as a church?

 

[quantumfaith]

Corndoggy,

Just a suggestion. A few years ago, I encountered in a Facebook discussion on theology a young professional man in the IT industry who was called into missions. He rooted his family from TX and committed to Foreign Missions. Attended language and culture school for one year and was appointed by the Pioneer Missions Organization to Albania. He has now been on field for 3 years. In addition to my giving to church, my wife and I help to support him and his family on a monthly basis. A conversation on facebook (one in which he and I were completely different theologically, he being calvinistic,, me not) led to a wonderful and warm "digital" friendship. I am confident that the monetary support from my wife and I is helping his family share the Gospel among the Roma of Tirana.

 

[just-want-peace]

A couple of sites to check out a lot of charities.

http://www.charitywatch.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org

 

[T Alan]

I have no problem with "sending" your money. Giving of your time to those you encounter daily is also a worthy cause. I have a soft place for "Old folks". Those in "nursing homes" could really use someone to simply listen to them. Share a smile with for a moment. Perhaps even be their "eyes" and read Scripture to them. Old Saints need feeding too. May I do more in the coming days toward this "Ministry" than just talk about the need. God help me is my prayer. Would you join me.