I think we've covered similar topics before, but should we ever give a false presentation of what we think, feel, or intend in order to 'keep peace' within our close groups or families or to avoid hurting sensitive peoples' feelings?
I'm thinking of 2 classic TV sitcoms to illustrate how this scenario, of which similar incidents may have happened to us...
In the Leave it to Beaver episode, "The Visiting Aunts," the boys make plans for going to a carnival at noon on a Saturday, and tell their friends that their dad will take them in his car. Unknown to them, their mother's Aunt Martha has called and said she and a friend will be dropping by later that morning "for a little while." The boys' mother tells them they can't disappoint her aunt who was so 'wonderful' to her when she was young, so the parents insist the boys get all dressed up and pretend they have nothing else to do. After it's finally over-- their 'little while' turned out to be close to 3 hours, including lunch-- the boys refuse their dad's offer to take them to the carnival then they go to their room just to sulk to let them know they resent what they were compelled to do.
In an Andy Griffith Show episode, Andy is alone for a couple of days, but childish "Goober" hears about it and comes to stay with him so he won't be *lonely*. Goober forgets a couple of telephone messages, then gets them mixed up when he remembers them, and after serving Andy a spaghetti dinner, tells him he is invited to dinner at the house of Howard and his mother. Not wanting to appear ungrateful, Andy goes to their house and they make an extra dinner for him-- spaghetti again-- not telling him that they did not invite him (Howard had called about a completely different matter), but not wanting to embarrass him. After Andy returns home, he gets a call from his girlfriend, Helen, asking him where he is-- it was she who invited him to dinner with a former colleague of hers, and they were waiting for him. He says he will be right over, and threatens Goober for having forgotten the messages, then confusing who said what. And the dinner is spaghetti again! But keeping it hidden that he has already had 2 spaghetti dinners, he still tries to eat it, with Helen demanding "Eat!" after she went to so much trouble and delay.
In the Leave it to Beaver example, it can be asking a lot of kids to visit with 'old fogey' relatives when they want to go to a carnival, bu it's only part of one day. Many or most of us have gone through something like this-- putting on forced manners, maybe dressing up, for those old fashioned grandparents or aunts and uncles, to show that we're a cut above those ill-mannered, disrespectful young people of today (whatever generation we're talking about when we were kids). But the Andy Griffith Show example is different. Would we eat 3 spaghetti dinners just to cover a clown's mistake and appear polite and grateful? I'm sure I wouldn't.
Bu how far should we go-- or insist that our children go-- to make someone else happy or to keep peace? To the point of outright hypocisy?.. even lying?
I'm thinking of 2 classic TV sitcoms to illustrate how this scenario, of which similar incidents may have happened to us...
In the Leave it to Beaver episode, "The Visiting Aunts," the boys make plans for going to a carnival at noon on a Saturday, and tell their friends that their dad will take them in his car. Unknown to them, their mother's Aunt Martha has called and said she and a friend will be dropping by later that morning "for a little while." The boys' mother tells them they can't disappoint her aunt who was so 'wonderful' to her when she was young, so the parents insist the boys get all dressed up and pretend they have nothing else to do. After it's finally over-- their 'little while' turned out to be close to 3 hours, including lunch-- the boys refuse their dad's offer to take them to the carnival then they go to their room just to sulk to let them know they resent what they were compelled to do.
In an Andy Griffith Show episode, Andy is alone for a couple of days, but childish "Goober" hears about it and comes to stay with him so he won't be *lonely*. Goober forgets a couple of telephone messages, then gets them mixed up when he remembers them, and after serving Andy a spaghetti dinner, tells him he is invited to dinner at the house of Howard and his mother. Not wanting to appear ungrateful, Andy goes to their house and they make an extra dinner for him-- spaghetti again-- not telling him that they did not invite him (Howard had called about a completely different matter), but not wanting to embarrass him. After Andy returns home, he gets a call from his girlfriend, Helen, asking him where he is-- it was she who invited him to dinner with a former colleague of hers, and they were waiting for him. He says he will be right over, and threatens Goober for having forgotten the messages, then confusing who said what. And the dinner is spaghetti again! But keeping it hidden that he has already had 2 spaghetti dinners, he still tries to eat it, with Helen demanding "Eat!" after she went to so much trouble and delay.
In the Leave it to Beaver example, it can be asking a lot of kids to visit with 'old fogey' relatives when they want to go to a carnival, bu it's only part of one day. Many or most of us have gone through something like this-- putting on forced manners, maybe dressing up, for those old fashioned grandparents or aunts and uncles, to show that we're a cut above those ill-mannered, disrespectful young people of today (whatever generation we're talking about when we were kids). But the Andy Griffith Show example is different. Would we eat 3 spaghetti dinners just to cover a clown's mistake and appear polite and grateful? I'm sure I wouldn't.
Bu how far should we go-- or insist that our children go-- to make someone else happy or to keep peace? To the point of outright hypocisy?.. even lying?
