I’m in a massive spiritual battle and could use some good advice.

[BSC]

Quick run down of my past. I grew up believing (or thinking that I did) that the Bible was truth though I did not live in a strong Christian home.

As I got older I started questioning and reading the Bible for myself and started going to Church and what not. Anyway, I accepted Christ for the forgiveness of my sins and was completely worry free from life though to be honest it took a good while to get to that point.

Well over the past year or so I quit reading my Bible, going to Church and prayed very little. So anyway a few months ago I got a bit sick and it took a while to figure out what was wrong (nothing major at all) but when it was all said and done I decided to get my life together and get close to God. It really made me realize how far I had drifted.

So I start reading my Bible again and before you know it I quit using bad language (pretty effortlessly too) and put away bad habits and hobbies that were taking too much of my attention and were standing between the Lord and I.

But then BAM, the feelings of abandonment kicked in like mad. The fear started just driving me crazy and I stared praying A LOT and eventually began to feel a bit better and started getting confident in my Christian walk again.

Then a couple weeks later I started to get a lot of anxiety and fear again but this time it was about my faith. I started questioning everything…like was my faith genuine….did I really believe and am I really saved. Before you know it I’m in total confusion and fear that has had me begging Jesus for more faith. I’m struggling between the knowing as fact, and the “feeling” of being saved and how different the two are. The fear and confusion got so bad that I even became scared to read my Bible because every time I read something negative I automatically associated it with myself. Now the fear seems to come and go and I keep telling myself (or someone is telling me) not to run from the word but to run to it. So that’s what I’m doing…..reading and praying and trying to stay focused on God and my lord Jesus Christ but the fear just grabs me and I feel completely helpless, confused and doubting my faith. It is the most terrifying feeling I think I have ever had. I have been getting up and going into empty offices or bathrooms and praying for the Lord to help me. I have asked the Lord to come into my heart more times than I can count and I did again yesterday just to solidify it and be done with it but then the fear and doubt still kicked in again this morning.

So now I’m at a point where if I am saved I need to quit worrying and quit letting Satan get the best of me and if I’m not saved I want to be….NOW. But this is like a never ending cycle of torment… I wish I had stayed on track and not distanced myself from the Lord….this has been the worst time in my life.


Thanks for any advice.

 

[gb93433]

So now I’m at a point where if I am saved I need to quit worrying and quit letting Satan get the best of me and if I’m not saved I want to be….NOW. But this is like a never ending cycle of torment… I wish I had stayed on track and not distanced myself from the Lord….this has been the worst time in my life.

The simple answer is to trust God instead of worrying. Trust him instead of yourself.

 

[Scarlett O.]

Hello, BSC - and join the doubter's club. You are going through something common to many Christians at some point in their life. I experienced this many years ago and it was horrible.

Here's a great link for you to read about doubts. My prayer is that it will bless you.

http://www.gotquestions.org/salvation-doubt.html
......................................................

OK, I'm back again. Here's another good plan of attack for you to meditate on. I got this from another site.


(1) Realize that knowing you are saved comes from believing the Bible, not trusting your feelings, not having confidence in yourself or anything you have ever done right, or kicking yourself for something you have done wrong. If you are ever to have peace about this all important issue, it will come only through reading the Bible, allowing God to make it real to you, and through prayer.

(2) Have confidence that the God Who let His Son die for you, Who made heaven and earth, Whom you once believed in, cannot lie. Do you honestly believe God can lie? It might help to memorize Titus 1:2, which teaches that God promised eternal life before the world began, and He cannot lie. If you really know that you once believed in Jesus as your Savior, ask God to make the verse real to you.

(3) Know that the Bible teaches that Satan roams about like a roaring lion to devour those whom he may. It also teaches in James 4:7, that if we submit to God and then resist the Devil, he will flee from us. If you know you once believed in Jesus as Savior, pray to God and tell Him that, ask Him to make His Word real to you and give you peace. Also, confess any known sin in your life.

(4) Memorize several verses that promise salvation to those who have received Jesus and think on them whenever you doubt. Some such verses are: John 3:16; John 5:24; Romans 1:16; John 6:39-40; 1 John 5:11-13.

(5) Remember that ultimately, the only way you will be sure of your salvation is by knowing you have believed in Jesus, His life, death on the cross, and resurrection--nothing else you have ever done or will do. The Bible does teach us that many things in our life will be different after we have, and if you have trusted Christ, you will see some of these things, such as: you began to walk in the light of His Word (1 John 1:7); you quit living in constant, deliberate sin, even though Christians never reach sinless perfection (1 John 3:9); and you began to love Christians rather than dread being around them (1 John 3:14).

 

[webdog]

BSC, welcome to the baptistboard! This is a good place to stay connected to believers and stay accountable in your daily walk.

You have to remember, that satan does not want your relationship with God to flourish...he wants things the way they were up until recently when you rededicated your life back to God. Doubting your entire existence and relationship is a major tool the enemy uses. Keep posting here, praying, and staying in the Word!

 

[just-want-peace]

Proverbs 3:
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

Bolded mine

Had a personnel problem at work many years ago, and this passage just "happened (??) to pop up". Took hold of the instruction in vs 5 and let Him handle it, and He provided a solution I would never have come up with in a thousand years.

Once you give it to God to handle, you leave it alone sleeping_2 until/unless you receive further instructions from Him!!!!!! Hard to do, but doable.

 

[Jim1999]

May I recommend a book I gave to every convert...along with the book; the Bible, of course.

The Fight; the Christian Struggle by Dr. White, InterVarsity Fellowship. You can get it from InterVarsity on the net as low as $10.00 US.

It starts at the beginning to take you through the Christian life, and the many struggles along the way.

Cheers, and God bless,

Jim

 

[BSC]

May I recommend a book I gave to every convert...along with the book; the Bible, of course.

The Fight; the Christian Struggle by Dr. White, InterVarsity Fellowship. You can get it from InterVarsity on the net as low as $10.00 US.

It starts at the beginning to take you through the Christian life, and the many struggles along the way.

Cheers, and God bless,

Jim

A friend of mine years ago gave me that book when I was a new Christian....it was old and beat up but it was great and it did help a lot. I don't know if I still have it around the house or not but I remember it did talk about these things for new believers. Which is what I feel like at the moment....a total cub to the Christian life. Like I'm starting over again...this is a lesson learned....the hard way.

Thank you to all who replied....it's good to hear that it's not an unheard of issue. I guess I felt like once I asked Jesus into my life and got close to him that I was in for an easy ride. But that's not the case if you don't stay close...weak faith = an easy target for satan I guess.

On the bright side it's good news I guess that I am concerned.....if I were not then I would have much larger problems.

 

[glfredrick]

I recommend an additional book to the "Good Book" that may help you to think through what it means to act "Christian."

I've seen a lot of people, myself included, that work at Christianity as if God is holding some big stick over their heads all day and all night long just waiting for us to screw up so He gan give us a big pop on the head.

Just isn't so... NNE loves you like God loves you. No one can. He is infinite in His almighty power, including the power to love perfectly. Our deal is learning to lean on "Abba" (daddy) because we've been taught to do our own thing and that "leaning" is not right. But God bids us COME. REST. TRUST. LOVE. MOVE. BE. And, He also gives us everyone else in the kingdom to show us the way (hopefully).

The other book is "Total Truth" by Nancy Pearcy. I've found it very helpful. Not stodgy, a great read in fact, and she walks through all her own struggles to live and think "Christianly" as she shares ways that work.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1433502208/?tag=baptis04-20

 

[RAdam]

Do you love the Lord Jesus Christ? John says in 1 John 4:19 that, "we love him because he first loved us." The cause of our love for Him is His love of us. Paul said in Romans 8:38 and 39: "For I am persuade, that neither death, nor life, , nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ our Lord." As someone already said, God cannot lie. It is impossible for Him to lie. He gave us this promise in scripture. If we love Him, it is because He first loved us. If He loves us, we cannot be separated from that love, not by anything that is in existence. Nothing can pluck us from the hand of God. Right now the devil is attacking you. Jesus said that Satan was a murderer from the beginning and that he is the father of lies. Satan is a liar and murderer. Don't believe him. Believe God. God is the Father of truth, mercy, goodness, righteousness, and all things perfect and good in our lives. Satan is our enemy.

 

[Luke2427]

Quick run down of my past. I grew up believing (or thinking that I did) that the Bible was truth though I did not live in a strong Christian home.

As I got older I started questioning and reading the Bible for myself and started going to Church and what not. Anyway, I accepted Christ for the forgiveness of my sins and was completely worry free from life though to be honest it took a good while to get to that point.

Well over the past year or so I quit reading my Bible, going to Church and prayed very little. So anyway a few months ago I got a bit sick and it took a while to figure out what was wrong (nothing major at all) but when it was all said and done I decided to get my life together and get close to God. It really made me realize how far I had drifted.

So I start reading my Bible again and before you know it I quit using bad language (pretty effortlessly too) and put away bad habits and hobbies that were taking too much of my attention and were standing between the Lord and I.

But then BAM, the feelings of abandonment kicked in like mad. The fear started just driving me crazy and I stared praying A LOT and eventually began to feel a bit better and started getting confident in my Christian walk again.

Then a couple weeks later I started to get a lot of anxiety and fear again but this time it was about my faith. I started questioning everything…like was my faith genuine….did I really believe and am I really saved. Before you know it I’m in total confusion and fear that has had me begging Jesus for more faith. I’m struggling between the knowing as fact, and the “feeling” of being saved and how different the two are. The fear and confusion got so bad that I even became scared to read my Bible because every time I read something negative I automatically associated it with myself. Now the fear seems to come and go and I keep telling myself (or someone is telling me) not to run from the word but to run to it. So that’s what I’m doing…..reading and praying and trying to stay focused on God and my lord Jesus Christ but the fear just grabs me and I feel completely helpless, confused and doubting my faith. It is the most terrifying feeling I think I have ever had. I have been getting up and going into empty offices or bathrooms and praying for the Lord to help me. I have asked the Lord to come into my heart more times than I can count and I did again yesterday just to solidify it and be done with it but then the fear and doubt still kicked in again this morning.

So now I’m at a point where if I am saved I need to quit worrying and quit letting Satan get the best of me and if I’m not saved I want to be….NOW. But this is like a never ending cycle of torment… I wish I had stayed on track and not distanced myself from the Lord….this has been the worst time in my life.


Thanks for any advice.

I had a stepfather who shared a similar testimony. His main problem turned out to be he was a manic depressive. Super high highs and super low lows. Terribly unstable emotionally. He had great confidence in his salvation one week and none the next.

He got on medication and it helped him. However, due to some unwanted effects of the medicine, he dropped it cold turkey. This sent him spiraling swiftly into a deep depression. He committed suicide two years ago.

It might be helpful for you to talk to a doctor about depression or anxiety.

If your doubts are not substantive then your problem is emotional.

If you have questions that need answering then I believe some folks on here can help. But if that's really not it- the problem is emotional.

 

[BSC]

I will keep praying, meditating and reading my Bible.

 

[BSC]

I had a stepfather who shared a similar testimony. His main problem turned out to be he was a manic depressive. Super high highs and super low lows. Terribly unstable emotionally. He had great confidence in his salvation one week and none the next.

He got on medication and it helped him. However, due to some unwanted effects of the medicine, he dropped it cold turkey. This sent him spiraling swiftly into a deep depression. He committed suicide two years ago.

It might be helpful for you to talk to a doctor about depression or anxiety.

If your doubts are not substantive then your problem is emotional.

If you have questions that need answering then I believe some folks on here can help. But if that's really not it- the problem is emotional.

Thanks for the reply. You could be right....I seem to be all over the map to be honest. It might be a good idea to look into it anyway.

In fact I have even thought about this very thing...wondering if it was just me. My issue is that I don't want any meds to interfere with the Holy Sprit.

 

[Luke2427]

Thanks for the reply. You could be right....I seem to be all over the map to be honest. It might be a good idea to look into it anyway.

In fact I have even thought about this very thing...wondering if it was just me. My issue is that I don't want any meds to interfere with the Holy Sprit.

I appreciate that desire. But the meds are not designed to make you think LESS clearly- but more clearly. That is what the holy Spirit wants for us. If you had a chemical imbalance that was causing you to get extraordinarily angry all the time and had caused you to hurt yourself on several occasions, you wouldn't argue that you don't want the medicine to interfere with the Holy Spirit. You would say, the Holy Spirit does not want me to hurt myself. I have a disease that needs to be treated no different than cancer. The Holy Spirit wants me to be all that I can be for him. The clearer I think the more I can be for him.

I don't think depression meds are any different that any other med that is designed to treat a disease. For one it may be Lupus- it is good for him to get it treated. For the other it may be depression- same thing.

 

[Mexdeaf]

Let me encourage you to see a good doctor- a Christian one, if possible. My wife recently faced struggles with depression. It was a shocker to me. But the medicine has definitely helped her.

 

[Winman]

BSC

Check your private messages, I sent you two that I hope will help you. Let me know if you have any questions.

 

[Winman]

Faith is not looking at ourselves and questioning ourselves over whether we have faith or not.

No, faith is looking away from ourselves to another person and asking whether they can be trusted.

For example, if I asked you whether you have faith in and trust your parents, you would probably immediately say yes. You do not have to think about it, and you don't ask yourself "Do I trust my parents? Do I really believe in them?"

No, you KNOW you trust your parents because they love you. You know they would give their very lives to save you if they had to. Faith is looking at the other person, not ourselves. I would bet no one in the world could shake your faith in your parents. They could say, "You don't believe your parents" and you would laugh at them. You KNOW you trust your parents.

And that is what faith is, it is not a feeling, it is a knowledge based on a relationship with another.

If your Dad asked to borrow your car, you would immediately say yes because you KNOW you trust your Dad and he would take care of it and bring it back to you.

But if a total stranger asked to borrow your car you would most likely refuse. Why? Because you don't know the person, and therefore you are not sure you could trust them. Perhaps they will steal your car and never bring it back.

But when that stranger asks to borrow your car, you don't suddenly start questioning yourself and asking, "Do I trust this stranger?".

And the same with your Dad, you don't ask yourself, "Do I trust my Dad?"

So you see, faith is a knowledge based on a relationship, it is not a feeling, although your knowledge will affect your feelings. If you loaned your car to that stranger and he didn't come back when he promised, you might start to get worried and feel fearful.

Don't ask "Do I have faith", that is the wrong question. Ask, "Can Jesus be trusted? Can Jesus lie? Will Jesus ever disappoint someone, will he turn away anyone who comes to him? These are the right questions to ask. And I think you know the answer, Jesus can never lie, he never misleads anyone. If you come to him in your heart he will save you. He wants to save you, he is eagerly waiting, knocking on the door of your heart. Just say YES to Jesus and you are saved.

 

[Paul33]

Quick run down of my past. I grew up believing (or thinking that I did) that the Bible was truth though I did not live in a strong Christian home.

As I got older I started questioning and reading the Bible for myself and started going to Church and what not. Anyway, I accepted Christ for the forgiveness of my sins and was completely worry free from life though to be honest it took a good while to get to that point.

Well over the past year or so I quit reading my Bible, going to Church and prayed very little. So anyway a few months ago I got a bit sick and it took a while to figure out what was wrong (nothing major at all) but when it was all said and done I decided to get my life together and get close to God. It really made me realize how far I had drifted.

So I start reading my Bible again and before you know it I quit using bad language (pretty effortlessly too) and put away bad habits and hobbies that were taking too much of my attention and were standing between the Lord and I.

But then BAM, the feelings of abandonment kicked in like mad. The fear started just driving me crazy and I stared praying A LOT and eventually began to feel a bit better and started getting confident in my Christian walk again.

Then a couple weeks later I started to get a lot of anxiety and fear again but this time it was about my faith. I started questioning everything…like was my faith genuine….did I really believe and am I really saved. Before you know it I’m in total confusion and fear that has had me begging Jesus for more faith. I’m struggling between the knowing as fact, and the “feeling” of being saved and how different the two are. The fear and confusion got so bad that I even became scared to read my Bible because every time I read something negative I automatically associated it with myself. Now the fear seems to come and go and I keep telling myself (or someone is telling me) not to run from the word but to run to it. So that’s what I’m doing…..reading and praying and trying to stay focused on God and my lord Jesus Christ but the fear just grabs me and I feel completely helpless, confused and doubting my faith. It is the most terrifying feeling I think I have ever had. I have been getting up and going into empty offices or bathrooms and praying for the Lord to help me. I have asked the Lord to come into my heart more times than I can count and I did again yesterday just to solidify it and be done with it but then the fear and doubt still kicked in again this morning.

So now I’m at a point where if I am saved I need to quit worrying and quit letting Satan get the best of me and if I’m not saved I want to be….NOW. But this is like a never ending cycle of torment… I wish I had stayed on track and not distanced myself from the Lord….this has been the worst time in my life.


Thanks for any advice.

When you pray and confess a specific sin, ask God to take back the ground given to Satan. It sounds like the devil has a foothold in your life (Eph. 4).

This simple prayer has set me free from besetting sins in the past, but I seem to be struggling with anger right now and can't seem to get rid of it. So I know the struggle is discouraging. I was free and now I don't seem to be free and it shows up as anger and swearing.

 

[Paul33]

I had a stepfather who shared a similar testimony. His main problem turned out to be he was a manic depressive. Super high highs and super low lows. Terribly unstable emotionally. He had great confidence in his salvation one week and none the next.

He got on medication and it helped him. However, due to some unwanted effects of the medicine, he dropped it cold turkey. This sent him spiraling swiftly into a deep depression. He committed suicide two years ago.

It might be helpful for you to talk to a doctor about depression or anxiety.

If your doubts are not substantive then your problem is emotional.

If you have questions that need answering then I believe some folks on here can help. But if that's really not it- the problem is emotional.

Good advice. Some issues are not spiritual issues but physical issues, such as chemical imbalances in the brain. Or maybe sin issues train the brain in a certain way that a spiritual issue also becomes a physical issue.

Chemical imbalances can cause a lot of problems and need to be addressed along with spiritual, demonic issues.

 

[jaigner]

Good advice. Some issues are not spiritual issues but physical issues, such as chemical imbalances in the brain. Or maybe sin issues train the brain in a certain way that a spiritual issue also becomes a physical issue.

Chemical imbalances can cause a lot of problems and need to be addressed along with spiritual, demonic issues.

Times of doubt and loss of spiritual reality for me coincide with mental health. Counseling and medical care, in addition to strong spiritual support, help me immensely.

Blessings.

 

[John Toppass]

When you pray and confess a specific sin, ask God to take back the ground given to Satan. It sounds like the devil has a foothold in your life (Eph. 4).

This simple prayer has set me free from besetting sins in the past, but I seem to be struggling with anger right now and can't seem to get rid of it. So I know the struggle is discouraging. I was free and now I don't seem to be free and it shows up as anger and swearing.

Good advice, but remember Matt 5:24 and go reconcile with your brother or anyone you have done wrong too. Just dropping out of sight for a bit and hoping that they will forget is not a way to rid your burden.