I need advice

[Gina B]

The pastor actually doesn't (or didn't at the time) seem aware of the depth of the matter. Now that he is, I'm waiting to see if my request will be met, but so far I have absolutely no hard feelings against him. In fact, I simply wish the people would LISTEN to him because he's pretty amazing. The problem seems to be more with people doing things with him unaware or of them not being honest with him when he asks. And of course...there's the all-time excuse some are trying to use that they "felt convicted" about such and such. IE one felt convicted about my daughter needing to go to youth group more, but I didn't get that, nobody discussed it with me, and she was confronted without my knowledge and the blame was being passed around, though I'm being TOLD one person finally did step up, but that's half the issue...the explanation and apology needs to come from that person to ME, not me being told third hand because he told someone who told someone else and yet another tells me about it. That's not how this works. That's what I want to see change.
Maybe statistics from these situations show that no, it won't change, but I still feel obligated to do all things possible to make it a truth instead of an assumption on my part.

 

[HAMel]

Maybe statistics from these situations show that no, it won't change, but I still feel obligated to do all things possible to make it a truth instead of an assumption on my part.

Please correct me if I'm wrong here but after asking for "advice" you're going to move ahead with "your" original course of action? That's fine. I do hope it all works out for you.

 

[Gina B]

Maybe statistics from these situations show that no, it won't change, but I still feel obligated to do all things possible to make it a truth instead of an assumption on my part.

Please correct me if I'm wrong here but after asking for "advice" you're going to move ahead with "your" original course of action? That's fine. I do hope it all works out for you.

Yeah, you're wrong. When I started this thread, we didn't have a plan at all so I was asking for advice on how to handle it all.
My post today was more of an update/am I nuts/whaddya think kind of post.

 

[HAMel]

Sometimes you just gotta get tough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOZPBUu7Fro

 

[menageriekeeper]

Gina you are in a tough position. I can only tell you what I would do: Leave the kid that is happy where she is and take the rest and run. BUT, it's a big hard step to worship in a different place than one of your children. It is how we have ended up at our house where dh make church attendence voluntary and doesn't attend himself. And his reasons include gossipy churches like the one you are apart of. So at the moment one kid attends a local Church of God(with my godson and his biodad) and the girls attend the local Episcopal church (one much more than the other who is busy with college). I'm dragging between the Baptist church I raised them in (which in fairness has it problems especially with the youth, which is why my kids won't attend there anymore) and the girls' Episcopal church which they love possibly because they don't have a formal youth group!! Teens are treated as young adults and kept within the congregation. Luckily I'm a rather liberal Baptist and the Epicopal church is rather conservative so I fit right in.

Ultimately, I will do what is best for my family because I believe our families are our first ministries. When the kids are fully grown and on their own, I will again attend a church that suits myself primarily. I find it sort of sad that one church can't be found where the 6 of us can worship together. Only part of that is my dh's insistance that all churches are money hungry social clubs. The other side is that so many in our area really ARE money hungry social clubs.

Its a tough position to be in, but what's best for my children comes before what I see as my goals in service to the local church. My goals can be accomplished after I've accomplished the goal God gave me implicitly to raise my children unto Him. How can I accomplish that if I allow my children to be subjected to unholy attitudes WITHIN the church walls?

No, I may not like the fact that Episcopals sprinkle (though they give the choice of immersion according to the preference of the person)

or that they baptise babies (awfully similar to our baby dedications),

but I certainly appreciate the loving spirit of the congregation, the scripture oriented service (have ya'll read the Book of Common Prayer, certainly not what I expected!)

and the acceptance my homeschooled children recieve when they walk in the door, not to mention that my Baptist born and raised self is greeted cheerfully every single Sunday I walk in. (they do joke about my being "the unconfirmed")

Most times only one or two people at my own church even notice if I'm there and I've participated in everything from SS to VBS and back again for years. I've wondered more than once where this little Episcopal church was when I was raising my children and getting used to a husband who began to refuse to attend worship with us. It is that different of an environment. You can feel the Spirit moving in that congregation. The Bible says "by your love for one another shall ye be known" and for the first time I really feel like i understand what that means.

Protect your child and find another place to worship.

 

[Gina B]

HAMel, haven't heard that voice in forever. I confused her with Patsy Cline when she first started singing!

MK, we technically can go to the Saturday church with all of us, and we're working towards that and working around schedules. The one will likely stay for ministry reasons, while the other wants to phase out. I feel kinda bad for her and tried to make sure she understands that she doesn't have to go because she's not had any issues there and really likes it, but she said she didn't feel right staying after the last deal happened with her sister.

Time will tell how it all ends up.
I'm kinda ticked that I started forcing myself to really like this place and was considering putting off a future move primarily for this church. Ah well. Such is life. We never know what the next day will bring, but I'm trying to stay in the mindset that if we stay right, we'll always be okay because God works through all the stuff we go through, but we have to be patient and wait for it and trust there's a reason and if the reason is bad, that the result will still end up okay if we stay right.
It's staying right that's tough though! Probably the one and only thing that ever triggers the worst in me is doing something towards one of my kids, so gotta find a way to deal with that better.

 

[HAMel]

HAMel, haven't heard that voice in forever.

Not many people know this but, "In the 1970s, she became a Born Again Christian and began recording gospel music. As result of her conversion, she distanced herself from the song for a time, due to its content. However, it was never removed from her live set and she still performs it.

In 1980, she published her autobiography, From Harper Valley to the Mountain Top, which told her story of stardom in pop music to moving more into gospel music. The following year, she released a new gospel album with the same title."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeannie_C._Riley

 

[matt wade]

Gina you are in a tough position. I can only tell you what I would do: Leave the kid that is happy where she is and take the rest and run.

This is insane advise. This advise explains exactly why the rest of your post describes a dysfunctional family.

 

[HAMel]

This advise explains exactly why the rest of your post describes a dysfunctional family.

A dysfunctional family? For real? You really believe this? You're pointing an accusing finger at the recipient of the gossip?

Care to elaborate a bit more?

Just consider what you said. "THIS ADVISE", coming from another poster is why Gina has a "DYSFUNCTIONAL" family? Perhaps I just misunderstand the intent of your comment. Is menageriekeeper part of Gina's family?

 

[matt wade]

This advise explains exactly why the rest of your post describes a dysfunctional family.

A dysfunctional family? For real? You really believe this? You're pointing an accusing finger at the recipient of the gossip?

Care to elaborate a bit more?

Just consider what you said. "THIS ADVISE", coming from another poster is why Gina has a "DYSFUNCTIONAL" family? Perhaps I just misunderstand the intent of your comment. Is menageriekeeper part of Gina's family?

Yes, you misread my post. My post had nothing to do with Gina's family.

 

[HAMel]

...thank you, and I stand corrected. :wavey: