Im the only one wearing pants

[insuranceman]

Aaron

According to your logic, if I really wanted to show my love for Christ I need to wear a tux and tails to church. After all formal wear speaks much louder than a plain old suit when it comes to making a statement. Which color of shirt would best communicate what I think of Christ white or pastel?

 

[JamieinNH]

Originally posted by Aaron:

Here are some things you haven't been told yet. </font>

• Clothing isn't just for protection, it's also a form of communication. What you think of Christ and church is being being communicated by how you dress.

• And how does it communicate this? Where does it say this in the Bible? What guidance do we have that will show us what to wear and what not to wear?
  
  

  Originally posted by Aaron:
  </font>[*]If you wear a suit out of your love and regard for the other members, that's nothing less than loving them as you love yourself, and nothing more than what Christ commanded.

  Loving someone in Chirst: Yes
  Loving them by dressing up FOR them? NO
  
  Again, Where did Christ command to us what to wear and how wearing something "nice" would show our love?
  
  

  Originally posted by Aaron:
  </font>[*]A suit is just as comfortable as jeans if it's the right material and fits.</font>

While I will agree with you on that, but remember I like wearing suits and have suits. For every person I show you that likes wearing them I can find a person that don't like wearing them, so that isn't a point.


Jamie

 

[bapmom]

There are many many instances where wearing something nice is a way to show our love for another person.

We would all dress up to go to a loved one's wedding, right? Wouldn't it be rather rude to go to your daughter's wedding in your raggedy clothes?

Id say the same for a funeral. We dress up out of respect for the mourning family and friends.

If a person feels that he can show respect for those around him by dressing up for them, than more power to ya, I say.

I think this discussion is starting to turn into a criticism of this particular church. The OP specifically states that the people in this church are all very nice. No one seems to have ever said anything to the OPer about his clothing, he is just making an observation about what most of the other people there are wearing. If the people in that church are ones who come together in like-minded fellowship, than who are we outsiders to judge them for that?

Carpinator,

I wanted to address one thing you said in your OP. You sound like you are making several assumptions about the people just based on what they are wearing.
First of all, you are assuming that they MIGHT only be still nice to you because you are "just visiting." Lets give the people the benefit of the doubt here, and I bet they'd be just as nice to you as a member as they would as a visitor. Becoming a member would mean you are now hopefully a faithful attender, and it will mean that eventually you will notice flaws and foibles in those around you.....but where would we go where this is not the case?

Secondly, you are assuming that they think you are a sinner because of your clothing differences. Don't assume things about other people's thought lives. It never ever leads to good....but usually leads to strife. Your assumptions make you act in a certain way, and it really isnt fair to assume that you know what other people are thinking.
After all, it isn't fair to think that just because someone is wearing a suit then they must believe that suits are the only Biblical attire for church. This is also you judging them based on their clothing.

Thirdly is the goatee issue.....most people I know do not have any problem with beards of any sort. However, they are simply not in a majority in America anymore, so the likelihood that a group of people will be clean-shaven is higher these days. I would not assume that this is a comment on their attitudes towards facial hair. In fact, Ive seen the goatee making a comeback, and when kept well they can be very nice looking.

In the end, I believe you need to separate your assumptions from what you have actually been told by people within the leadership of the church. Just because you "feel" a certain way does not mean that that is an accurate assessment of the attitude of the church people.

 

[JamieinNH]

Originally posted by bapmom:
There are many many instances where wearing something nice is a way to show our love for another person.

We would all dress up to go to a loved one's wedding, right? Wouldn't it be rather rude to go to your daughter's wedding in your raggedy clothes?

Id say the same for a funeral. We dress up out of respect for the mourning family and friends.

Although I agree with the instances you have stated as to when we dress up, I still differ with you in the reasoning. We do dress up out of respect, not necessarily love. I don't dress up "for" anyone. I dress up for respect, because that was the way I was raised. However, I have gone to church in Jeans, and a short shelve shirt. I have also gone to funerals and other "dress up" functions in jeans and other-then-suits clothes. I didn't do this to be disrespectable, I did it because it was the only thing I had to wear &lt;poor student&gt;.

So, I agree with the respect/upbringing part but not the love part.

Originally posted by bapmom:

If a person feels that he can show respect for those around him by dressing up for them, than more power to ya, I say.

I agree, but this thread isn't about respect or not. It's about what he has in his closet to wear, what he is comfortable in, and that he doesn't own a suit. I am sure he isn't dressing down because of lack of respect, it's simple not a wardrobe option for him.

Originally posted by bapmom:

I think this discussion is starting to turn into a criticism of this particular church.

I am not sure this is true, I think people are just giving their opinions, and again it has a lot to do with where you were raised and how. In "Farm" country, or out "west" it's different than in the city. People get used to what they are use to. It doesn't mean they are beating up the church, they are just stating how they feel.

My post was quite nice, I even said that I was sure they wouldn't mind, and if they did say anything for him to be honest, and tell them his situation, and I am sure they will understand.


Jamie

 

[Joseph_Botwinick]

Originally posted by The Carpinator:
So far no one has given me a "rule sheet" but I feel that there is one. Any way to find out?

Go ask the pastor.

Joseph Botwinick

 

[bapmom]

Jamie,

respecting someone is a way to show them love. Obviously you can be respectful towards someone you do NOT love as well, but it still holds true for those you DO love.

And I wasn't implying that anyone was not being nice in here. Honest. But there are several who are assuming that the church is looking down on this couple, and I don't see that.


Im just pointing out that our perceptions and "bias" can go both ways. Just because a person is dressed in a certain manner does not necessarily mean they have a certain attitude.

Being open and forthright and asking the pastor directly about it is far better than keeping the worry inside and perhaps beginning to stew over the issue.

 

[Aaron]

Originally posted by insuranceman:
Aaron

According to your logic, if I really wanted to show my love for Christ I need to wear a tux and tails to church. After all formal wear speaks much louder than a plain old suit when it comes to making a statement. Which color of shirt would best communicate what I think of Christ white or pastel?

I have an experiment for you: Wear a suit to a job interview, then go to another wearing a tux. Then tell me which interviewer thought you were serious about the job, and which thought you were looney.

 

[Aaron]

Originally posted by JamieinNH:
And how does it communicate this? Where does it say this in the Bible? What guidance do we have that will show us what to wear and what not to wear?

I'm not going to do your homework for you. You can look it up yourself. It's more rewarding that way. Besides, you didn't post Scriptural evidence that said I could wear whatever I wanted to wear to church.

Aaron: If you wear a suit out of your love and regard for the other members, that's nothing less than loving them as you love yourself, and nothing more than what Christ commanded.

Jamie: Loving someone in Chirst: Yes
Loving them by dressing up FOR them? NO

I don't know if you're married or not, or if you're dating someone, but are you saying your regard for someone isn't reflected in your manner of dress?

Again, Where did Christ command to us what to wear and how wearing something "nice" would show our love?

Where did He say that sending flowers or cards shows love, or that holding a door open for someone shows love, or that giving birthday gifts or Christmas presents shows love? (Leave one of your children out this holiday season and see if he thinks you love him.) Some things you just know by nature. Doth not even nature itself teach you?

What Christ did say is that love will not behave itself unseemly. And in a situation where it's unseemly that a woman wear trousers and a man come to church casually, love will not do so. It's impossible to seek one's own will while showing love to others. Love seeketh not her own.

 

[eyeball]

While we're on the subject of suits, far too often do I see people who clearly have not taken the time to make themselves presentable, and have worn the suit out of habit, or out of the false belief that a suit alone makes for presentable apparrel.

If your shirt and your tie clash, this makes you look bad.

If your pants are poorly tailored and saggy or short, this makes you look bad.

If your jacket is too tight and stretches at the seams or is difficult to button, this makes you look bad.

If you do not wear a belt with your suit, this makes you look bad.

If you wear a fitting suit but have poor quality shoes, this makes you look bad.

If you wear a suit but your tank-top underwear is clearly visible underneath your dress shirt, this makes you look bad.

If you have a sloppily-tied necktie knot, this makes you look bad.

If you wear a suit that draws attention to itself due to bold color, out of date fashion (I'm talking to you, Mr. Green Bellbottomed suit), or color clash between you and your wife, this makes you look bad.

Any number of things can make you look bad, completely nullifying the effect of wearing a suit or your so-called 'Sunday Best'. You looking bad makes the church look bad. Is this what we want to demonstrate?

My point? It's not just wearing a suit. It's the entire package. Get clothes that match. Don't wear a clashy tie. For crying out loud, get it tailored or lose the gut. Don't wear your brown shoes with your black belt. Absolutely never wear a jacket that does not match the pants. And buy some crewneck undershirts if you need to wear one. Invest the necessary time and money to make yourself presentable instead of merely doings things out of habit. Lastly, secondhand suits should always be avoided whenever possible-- get something tailored that fits you personally.

Some of you may crow about expense -- hey, they don't call it the Sunday Best for nothing. 'Best' implies exceptional; take whatever means possible to make it so.

 

[bapmom]

I think we can go overboard in our expectations of other people, too, eyeball.

It might not be that they are unwilling to get a tailored suit, they just might not be financially capable of it. The best suit my hubby ever had was one I found at the Good Will store once. It was a very, very nice fit on him, and looked brand spankin' new. He looked quite "smashing" in it, I must say.

There are quite a few ladies in my church who do all their shopping at thrift stores. I only know because I know them personally. They are some of the sharpest dressed ladies I know.
Everbody can be discerning when they buy, and make sure they look nice, without having to spend money they do not have.

Theres a huge difference between wearing the absolute best thing you personally can buy, and just deciding to show up in the same thing you'd wear to lay around the house in.

 

[JamieinNH]

Originally posted by The Carpinator:
So far no one has given me a "rule sheet" but I feel that there is one. Any way to find out? What should I do? My wife loves this church and so do I, I'm just very uncomfortable thinking everyone thinks I'm sinning cause I don't fit the cookie cutter mold.

Carpinator,

As you can see this thread has brought to light that there are all kinds of different opinions about what you should or shouldn't wear. There is no "rule book" other than the Bible, and as far as I can see, the Bible mentions clothing in about three views.

#1 It must Cover what God calls "Nakedness"
#2 Distinguishable difference between a Man and a Woman
#3 Must be Modest

Other than that, I can't find it anywhere that it says you should or shouldn't wear a suit to church. Dress comfortable, dress the way your means can afford, and above all, go to church to worship God, not to impress people.

Wear Jeans, go to church and give thanks to God, and let it end there. Don't let me, or anyone else tell YOU how to dress to worship God.

Jamie

 

[pinoybaptist]

Carpinator:

PM me your size and address, and I'll be glad to 'love gift' you with a couple of suits,ties, pants, and shirts.
No disrespect, no sarcasm, no nothing intended, just love for a brother in Christ.
That being said, you don't owe anyone no explanation, but you do need to find out if the church has dress codes for members.
Most churches request that their menfolk wear something decent, not necessarily suits, and their womenfolk wear something modest, not necessarily long dresses.
However, there are churches that are extreme.
One church I went to and tried out some years ago before I settled for the Primitive Baptist church, required that those in church stand up and give the pastor and his deacons a standing ovation when they entered.
Heck, they stood up and clapped their hands, my wife and I stood up and headed for the door.
Now, that was a very conservative Baptist church, mind you, but the point is, that some churches 'feel' so conservative they go overboard with the trivial things like how to be clothed in church.

 

[cojosh]

********One church I went to and tried out some years ago before I settled for the Primitive Baptist church, required that those in church stand up and give the pastor and his deacons a standing ovation when they entered.**********

or

?????


I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

 

[bapmom]

pinoy,

Ive seen that done, but did they really "require" that you do that? Or did it just happen to be something that they did?

We often do that in our church, but it certainly isn't required!

I find that so often people use words like "force" and "require" when its just something that collectively as a congregation most regular attenders do. (Whatever the "IT" may be.)

 

[rlvaughn]

I don't want to derail the thread, but I am so curious that I want to ask bapmon a question. Am I understanding that you say that those in your church stand up and give the pastor and the deacons a standing ovation when they enter? Would you explain this a little more? When they enter when & where? What is the explanation behind why this is done? Thanks.

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by The Carpinator:
The people here are real nice and friendly...but is that just because im still just visiting?

Probably not. They're probably always friendly, at lest to a point.

I can't help but notice that the only person who's making notice of the lack fo suit is you. No one else seems to have a problem with it. This could be an issue of self-pride on your part. Bounce the topic off of someone at church. They'll probably be more accepting of the situation than you think, and it may turn out that it's not a situation at all.

 

[Salamander]

Naturally suspicious JohnV?

 

[Johnv]

Originally posted by Salamander:
Naturally suspicious JohnV?

What the heck kind of off the wall comment is that?

 

[bruren777]

I have one question. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

 

[Johnv]

I think Jesus would say "come as you are". On the flipside, I'd probably make myself presentable before I went to him. But making oneself presentable means different thing to different people in different churches. Sometimes we dress up to show off, and sometimes we purposefully dress down to rebel. OTOH, most of the time, we dress up out of a feeling of respect, or dress down out of a feeling of being accepted as we are. As to the OP, I think the poster is fine, and doesn't need to strees about it.