I don't understand what we call "American English." It never makes sense - especially when your POTUS speaks. But it's funny.
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Intelligent insulting
- Thread starter John of Japan
- Start date
Here is a classic intelligent insult from J. Frank Norris about my grandfather: “John R. Rice is the kindest, gentlest, sweetest man ever to stab a man in the back or scuttle a ship!”
This was an adaptation of a quote by Henry Watterson: “Theodore Roosevelt was as sweet a man as ever scuttled a ship or cut a throat,” which was in turn from Lord Byron’s epic poem, “Don Juan”: “He was the mildest manner’d man that ever scuttled ship or cut a throat” (Canto III, 41).
This was an adaptation of a quote by Henry Watterson: “Theodore Roosevelt was as sweet a man as ever scuttled a ship or cut a throat,” which was in turn from Lord Byron’s epic poem, “Don Juan”: “He was the mildest manner’d man that ever scuttled ship or cut a throat” (Canto III, 41).
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”
― Steven Wright
― Steven Wright
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
OK - April 1971 - I arrived at Oakland Army Base, for shipment to VietNam. But our entire company was diverted to USAEUR. So a few days later I arrived in Zweibruecken, Germany. I was assigned to the US Army Material Command, Europe (MATCOM-EUR). Well, the only clothes I had was my class A's and one set of Class B Kakias. Come Sunday morning, I attended chapel (in uniform, of course). After Service, Chaplain Lucky (I wont mentioned he was Lutheran) welcomed me to Sunny Zweib. He asked me how I enjoyed the service. To tell you the truth - it was not much more than a 4th grade Sunday Class. Well, being young, dumb and Stupid, I replied "Chaplain, I am a Baptist, and I am used to good preaching"! He then pointed to the front of the chapel and said, you see that man to the left - he attends a Baptist church on Sunday nights. Why don't you go meet him!.
I trust I have learned quite a bit over these past 50 years.
Thanks John - your post # 5 reminded me of my post.
John had said:
"When I was young and foolish, I had a book of insults. I still remember a couple of them"
I trust I have learned quite a bit over these past 50 years.
Thanks John - your post # 5 reminded me of my post.
John had said:
"When I was young and foolish, I had a book of insults. I still remember a couple of them"
and even Baptist pastors can be funny
and this pastor had been President of the ABC
and this pastor had been President of the ABC
Sai
Well-Known Member
A taliban was detached from his men after a battle and found himself crossing a desert. As he walked he was out of water and thought of giving up when he spotted someone in the distance. As he got closer he noticed a Jewish man selling neckties. Do you have water? Said the taliban. The Jew seeing him said, my friend I don’t have any water but how would you like to buy one of my nice ties? Only five dollars?
The taliban responded, I am a jihad fighter and I don’t want your western clothes and I hate Jews. If I had the strength I would kill you right now but I’m thirsty now give me some water!
Well..the Jew said to him, this is what I’m going to do. I know you think you’re a better man than me and that your religion is the true faith, here, I’m going to be the better man and show you that I can be the better man. If you take this pass straight away you will come to a restaurant that has plenty of water and you can drink till your heart’s content.. ok but I might just come back and kill you..
So the Jew said take care my friend and be blessed.. as the taliban walked he reached the restaurant. On the window was a great sign that read “no dining without a tie.”
The taliban responded, I am a jihad fighter and I don’t want your western clothes and I hate Jews. If I had the strength I would kill you right now but I’m thirsty now give me some water!
Well..the Jew said to him, this is what I’m going to do. I know you think you’re a better man than me and that your religion is the true faith, here, I’m going to be the better man and show you that I can be the better man. If you take this pass straight away you will come to a restaurant that has plenty of water and you can drink till your heart’s content.. ok but I might just come back and kill you..
So the Jew said take care my friend and be blessed.. as the taliban walked he reached the restaurant. On the window was a great sign that read “no dining without a tie.”
More from the speaker:
Winston Churchill was quoted on the BBC today by an American correspondent -
"America always does the right thing, but only after exhausting all the alternatives."
"America always does the right thing, but only after exhausting all the alternatives."
RighteousnessTemperance&
Well-Known Member
LOL. That Churchill could be a cleverly funny little devil, probably even when he was sober.
It was good of him to note our penchant for wavering mightily before eventually voting in an Eisenhower, a Reagan, or a Trump. Sort of like the Brits finally voting in a Churchill, or making a Brexit.
Even more from the former speaker: